Well, we've gone through Door Three this time, let's see what's going to be behind that door. (Spoiler alert: It's a dead...) Enough, let's move on...
Warning!: This is based upon a game that's rated M for Blood, Drug
References, Strong Language, Suggestive (read 'Sexual') themes, and
Violence. If any of these things offend you, don't click on the link.
Santa: You son of a bitch, Junpei! This isn't fair!
(Life isn't always "fair", get used to it!) Kind of surprising to hear that from you, Niyagi...
'Santa rounded on Junpei, lightning crackling in his eyes and his knuckles white.'
Santa: Do you realize what you just did?! You leave them out there, and they can't--
([sarcasm] Can't...what? What "can't" they do? [/sarcasm])
Seven: Shut it! That's enough!
'It hadn't been Junpei that spoke, but Seven.'
Seven: We gotta find the DEAD, or none of this is gonna matter!
'The clock was ticking. The DEAD was their only chance at survival. Unless they could find it, and deactivate their detonators, the 4 of them would be--'
Seven: We got less than a minute left! No time for screwin' around! Get moving!
'They scattered, and began to scour the room. The Deactivation Device was nowhere to be found. Corridors stretched out in 3 directions, but every one was blocked off by a wall of metal. There was only one way out. One other door.'
Seven: There!
'Seven ran for the door, a rusty iron thing. His large hands grabbed hold of the handle and pulled. The room inside was pitch black. They could see nothing beyond the small patch of light that spilled through the doorway. Junpei stuck his head through the door, and looked around the room. Almsot immediately, he spotted the blinking red light on the right wall.'
Junpei: I found it! The DEAD's right over here!
'He stepped into the room-- ...and nearly fell down. The floor was...slippery.'
Junpei: W-What...?
(..."is that?" You'll find out soon enough.)
'He stopped, and glanced down at his feet. What was--'
Seven: Hey! What the hell're you doing?! Get over there!
'Junpei felt Seven's heavy hand against his back, and stumbled across the room. The other 3 piled in behind him. They all felt immediately that something was wrong. Nothing that could be easily identified, only a sense that something terrible shared the room with them...'
(They have NO IDEA...) (Shimohi! Akurei's scaring me...) ...Niyagi just referred to Akurei by name...
'But there was no time to say so.'
Seven: Quick! Get to the DEAD!
'They all started running. In the dark, it was hard to tell where the wall was... All they could see was the tiny red light, blinking at them over, and over, and over... Then finally, suddenly, they were there. In quick succession, they all slammed their hands against the scanner panel.'
Seven: *Pant* *Pant* *Pant*...
June: *Pant*... *Pant*... *Pant*...
Santa: *Pant*... *Pant*... *Pant*...
'Seven leaned against the wall, gulping air. As he breathing began to return to normal, he glanced at his left wrist and grunted.'
Seven: Heh, It stopped. It stopped... Hahahah...ahahahahaha...
'Junpei could hear him laughing in the dark, but could barely make out the larger man's face.'
Santa: What the--... Hurrk! Haarggh!
Whoa! Santa! Did you pull something? (*gag* No, it's the stench...) (Actually, I'm smelling something tasty.)
'The sound of retching came from Santa's direction.'
Santa: W-What the hell is this smell?! This is vile! I'm gonna puke!
'So desperate had they been in their race to the DEAD that no one had noticed the horrible smell that pervaded the room. It was a terrible, nauseating stench, like burnt and rotten meat.'
(I think you mean "cooked and aged meat".) Akurei, most people are humans. Not demons.
'Adrenaline had drowned it out, but now it rolled over Junpei in waves, forcing itself into his nose with every breath he took. He felt his stomach clench, and bile rise up in his throat.'
Seven: Let's get the lights on first. There's a switch over...here...
'The light that spilled in from the door barely illuminated a small switch plate next to the door. Slowly, with the toll of the last few minutes apparent in his gait, Seven walked toward it. He stopped as he got close, and extended his fingers toward the switch...'
(Let there be light!)
'There was a soft click as the lights came on. It had scarcely faded when another noise pierced the air--a scream.'
June: Eeeeeyaaaaaaaaaaaa!
'Junpei's breath stopped in his throat. His heart ceased to beat. Time froze. His mind scrambled to make sense of what he saw before him. What was left of the body sat in a sea of blood. Chunks of flesh, torn from the body, sat in the blood like tiny islands in a great, red sea. A vast, ragged hole had been torn in the torso, and what remained of his intestines spilled out of it like fresh spaghetti.'
(Mmmm... Spaghetti... *gargles*) (*gags* Get me a barf bag...)
'Smaller chunks of mean had splattered against the wall, and become stuck there as they dried. Globules of yellowish fat had left rails like tiny slugs as gravity pulled them down the wall, even as they dried to it.'
Seven: Looks like an explosion...
Yeah, you've seen something like that before.
'Seven's voice was low and strained.'
Seven: Just like the 9th Man...
I know, right.
Seven: The detonator in his bracelet set off the bomb in his gut.
'It looked as though the explosion had been quite powerful. His legs were both bent in an odd, unnatural way, and his left harm had split open, exposing the painfully white bone of his ulna.'
(That last detail is rather suspicious...) Wha... *sigh* Never mind...
'His bracelet lay next to him. It seemed to have hit the wall hard enough to have shattered the display, which lay on the ground in pieces. Half of his head had simply collapsed. The blood coating almost made it look like raw pizza dough covered in tomato sauce.'
(That "cheeses" it! I'm upgrading my nacho dip now!) (Ew! Ew! Ew! Gross!)
'His clothes, too, were covered in blood. The burgundy tie, the white shirt, the jacket with the yellow piping, and the gray slacks... They were all familiar to Junpei.'
Santa: Is that...Snake...?
(Snake?) Snake! (SNAKE!!!) (I think you've done that video game joke long enough.)
'Santa's voice wavered as he spoke, his mouth dry.'
Junpei: Oh my God...
'Finally, Junpei spoke.'
Junpei: Why did this happen...
June: Nooooooooooo!
Woah, that's a bit weird... (Shimohi's saying that because an actual scream was heard and the screen shook at the same time.)
'Suddenly June was screaming, her voice broken. It was an eerie scream, full of insanity, and not entirely human.'
June: No! No! Nooooooooooooo!
'She shook her head violently, and grabbed fistfulls of her own hair.'
(Good thing we didn't take June through Door Five. *munch* *crunch* Ah, nice aged meat...) (*barfs*)
'Junpei could hear the sound of hair tearing.'
(Hey! Somebody stop her from damaging her hair!)
Junpei: No! Stop it, June!
'He grabbed for her wrist--'
(Good Junpei! Way to be a real man!) Dude, that sounds kind of...wrong.
'But as he did, June leapt up, and ran. Toward the exit--'
Yeah! Go June!
June: Please! Get me out of here! You have to let me out of here!
'She screamed at the door, and her fists slammed against it with a hollow sound. Junpei could see drops of blood on her knuckles.'
June: Why are you doing these horrible things to us?! What did we do to deserve this?!
'She screamed again, a desperate, mindless cry. Her fists flailed against the door.'
June: Get me out of here! Please! Please, just let me out!
'Junpei couldn't watch anymore. He ran to June and wrapped his arm around her, pulling the screaming girl away from the door.'
June: No! Get off of me! Let me go! Let me go!
Dude! Let her go already! I wish I wasn't like some kind of ghost, then I could pull Junpei off June...
'She scrambled for a moment, her legs skittering across the floor, but her resistance didn't last long. As suddenly as her outburst had begun, it was over. The manic energy disappeared, and her body went limp in Junpei's arms.'
(*sigh* June just had a hysterical fit. Good thing Junpei was there to be a man and reign her in!) Once again, we don't have time to deal with your female misogynist tendencies...
'June collapsed toward the floor, and Junpei knelt down with her. He felt drops of something warm and wet... Was she...crying? A moment later, she began to sob. Her shoulders shook, and great, hot tears rolled down her face like rain.'
Junpei: We're gonna be fine... It's gonna be all right, June. It's going to be okay, Kanny.
'Her name was a whisper.'
Junpei: I'll be here with you, okay?
(Aw... That's so sweet.)
'She nodded once.'
June: Thank you... Thank you so much, Jumpy.
'Her trembling voice pulled at Junpei's heart. He stroked her hair gently. His face was so close to her. The scent of her hair was...nostalgic...'
Junpei: Do you feel better?
June: Yes... But I'd like to stay here...
Sitting on a bathroom floor? Okay...
June: For a little while, at least. Jumpy's body is...so warm...
(Well...there's only a one-out-of-six chance that Junpei's body will stay warm.) *listening for something* Now, I'm just wondering what the deal was with that mysterious voice we were hearing earlier... (Not the "earlier" that the Pansy remembers.) (And the Monster keeps rambling on about a playthough that never happened.)
'... ...Several minutes passed before June's tears had dried. Junpei stood up.'
[simultaneously] Stand up, my Vanguard! (Stand up, my Vanguard!) [/simultaneously] (First playing card games in a courtroom, and now this!? You two are absolutely insane!)
'He bent down, put his arms under June's and helped her to her feet.'
June: ...
Junpei: ...
'They didn't speak.'
(No shit Sherlock!)
Seven: ...
Santa: ...
'Neither did Seven or Santa.'
Awkward...
'A person was dead. They had died in that room, in a terrible way.'
(That's making it sound like more than one person died.)
'Junpei knew there was no way he could make himself forget that.'
(Unless... He dies and we start another playthrough.)
'There was no way any of them could forget it, but mourning would do no good. They spread out to search the room, but each felt as if their heart was made of lead.'
Or stone...
----------SEEK A WAY OUT!----------
It's that time again... (Hold it! We've had enough of the "raiding party" gag around here!) ...If you say so. First of all, what's with this blood writing on the wall? ("L. L. R."?)
'Those letters written in blood...'
Junpei: "LLR"... Do you think that might be some sort of dying message from Snake?
Seven: No, that's impossible. you saw the body. You aren't doing anything after something like that happens to you.
Junpei: Then, this...
Seven: They way the blood's dried tells you it's real old. Whoever's blood this is, it ain't Snake's.
(I wonder...)
Junpei: Then you're saying this blood was put here a long time ago?
("You wonder..." What?) (If that's actually Snake's body or not.) (I know I called you "insane" earlier, but this just takes the cake! Of course that's Snake's body!) ... (Shimohi, why are you being silent?) ... (Nevermind, like I said earlier, you're crazy.)
Seven: Yeah.
(*ROFL*) Moving on... Let's check the stalls over to the right. In the one to the left we find... a bucket! (Well, there was a content warning for "Sexual Themes"...) (I don't get what...) Troll reproductive habits, that's all.
June: It's a tin bucket. Hey, Jumpy... Do you remember back in elementary school when you spilled all of our paint across the whole classroom? They made you clean it up, and all they gave you was a sponge and a bucket like this.
Paint? What color "paint" was it?
Junpei: H-Hey, c'mon now... Can't we just leave the past in the past?
Well, maybe we can use this broom for something...
'Junpei reached for the broom, and as he grabbed it, he heard a soft voice from behind him. It was June.'
June: The rabbit hutch...
Junpei: ...Huh?
Indeed, that was quite a non sequitur.
'He turned around. June still looked sadly pale, but there was a smile on her face.'
June: Oh, you just reminded me of it. The rabbit hutch, I mean.
Junpei: How did I remind you of something like that...?
June: Jumpy and the broom. You were always playing around with the broom in front of the rabbit hutch.
Junpei: I was...?
June: Don't you remember?
Apparently not.
'Junpei stared at the broom in his hand.'
June: You mean...you don't remember that summer either?
'She looked very sad. He shook his head.'
Junpei: Of course I remember. How could I forget something like that? It was terrible...
(Are you sure you're remembering it and not bullshitting this?)
'They were in the 6th grade. Junpei and June had been assigned to take care of the classroom pets--the rabbits. Their chief duty was to clean the hutches every morning. On the final day of school before summer vacation began, Junpei overslept. He rushed to school, and found June standing in front of the rabbit hutches. No sooner had Junpei arrived than June began to cry.'
(Oh no! What happened!?)
'He had no idea why until he looked behind her, into the rabbit hutch. The first thing he saw was blood.'
Sounds like we've got some dead rabbits... (At least Snowflake's some friends now.) Akurei, no, I'd rather not talk about Snowflake...
'The hutch was filled with the dead bodies of the rabbits. Even after their teachers and friends came to see what the commotion was, June couldn't stop crying.'
June: I just kept crying and crying, until you came over. You held my hand and you looked very serious and you said... "Don't cry. I'm gonna catch the person who did this." After you told me that, I finally stopped crying.
Junpei: Well, the real fun started after you quit crying. You told me we were gonna catch the killer together.
June: *Giggle*
'June smiled, and a little of the flush of life returned to her cheeks.'
June: Then we decided that we'd ambush them.
Junpei: Yeah, I remember.
'The school also kept roosters and guinea pigs. Junpei and June had decided the murderer would likely return to finish off the rest of the animals. They would ambush the killer at night. Junpei and June hid behind the hutch at dusk and waited. It was a warm summer night. The quiet sound of crickets whispered through the air. As the sun went down, the stars began to wink at them from the sky. And June's...Akane Kurashiki's face... That night was something Junpei knew he would never forget, as long as he lived.'
Junpei: But the murderer never showed up. We waited for them all summer vacation, and they never showed up.
June: Yeah, but the animals didn't get attacked either. I think all that work amounted to something, you know?
'He'd felt the same way, but it was good to hear her say it.'
Junpei: Although you know, if you think about it, we were probably taking on a lot more than we could handle.
June: ...? What do you mean?
'She looked up at him, confused.'
Junpei: Well, c'mon... We were just kids. If whoever'd killed the rabbits had actually showed up, they probably would've had a knife or something. I mean, you must've been pretty worried, right?
June: I...I wasn't worried... Because you were...Because you were there with me.
'She blushed furiously.'
June: You know, no one else wanted to take care of the animals.
'Clearly embarrassed, she tried desperately to change the subject.'
June: I was the only one who asked to do it, at first.
Junpei: Yeah, boys don't really wanna bother with taking care of animals, you know?
June: Well, yeah, but you asked to do it after I did, didn't you?
Junpei: Ehhh... If it wasn't the rabbits, they were gonna make me do something else. You know how that school was. If figured it'd be better if I was working with somebody who wasn't too much of a loud-mouth, right? Somebody who wasn't gonna tell on me if I felt like blowing it off...
(Hey! That's not nice!) (Duh, Pansy!) (Oh... Right... Boys aren't supposed to be nice...) *facepalm* This just keeps getting worse and worse...
June: Really? That's why you volunteered?
Junpei: Yeah, yeah it is.
'He nodded quickly and much too earnestly and then quickly looked away at something very important. That hadn't been the reason, of course.'
No duh.
'He had asked to take care of the rabbits so that he could be near June.'
(Awww...) (I think I'm going to gag, I need a break. *munch* *crunch*) Yeah... a bucket full of nachos topped off with human remains won't make Akurei barf, but cheesy sentimental stuff will... Akurei's a demon, she doesn't react to stuff like a normal human would.
'But it had been so long ago... He couldn't bring himself to tell her how he'd felt back then. It would be...embarrassing. He took a quick breath to clear his head, tossed the broom up, and then snatched it out of the air.'
Junpei: Well, we don't really have time to be walking down memory line like this, you know? We've gotta figure out a way out of this room. Otherwise...
June: Yes.
'June nodded curtly, then turned and walked away. Junpei turned around and looked at the room. At Snake's body. Chunks of flesh and organs still lay on the floor. The conversation he and June had been having scarcely fit their surroundings. But perhaps, that was simple human nature. Despite such a situation--or perhaps because of it--the mind turned tot he farthest thing from death that it could find.'
And, somehow, dead rabbits didn't count as being related to death? (Well... *munch* ...The human mind has to find some kind of starting point... *crunch*)
'Still, Junpei couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt at wanting so desperately to live when Snake lay dead before him. He had to live... He wanted a life again, a life...with June it it... As he stared at the clumps of blackened flesh, all Junpei could think of was how much he wanted to live.'
And all that to pick up a broom? Well, let's get this over with...
Santa: Hm? What're you doing with the broom?
And that gets us nowhere. Backing out of the left stall and... (Is there something we can use the toilet paper for?) We've got TP!
Santa: It's toilet paper with some kinda red symbols on it.
Seven: You think maybe that's a scytale cipher?
Did someone say "cipher"!? (Oh yeah, Shimohi here has an interest in codes and stuff like that...)
Santa: Scytale cipher? What the hell is that?
Thanks for asking, Santa, because I want to know!
Seven: You wrap a piece of paper around a stick, and then write several sentences on it, so that the whole paper is filled up.
That gives me an idea... (TP plus broom?) Exactly!
Seven: Then you unwrap the paper, and you can't tell what the original message was, right? That's how it works, more or less. Then to decipher it, you gotta have a stick that's the same diameter as the original one.
Junpei: Same diameter as the original one, huh?
Seven: Yeah. Then you just wrap the paper around that stick, and you can read the code.
Now, it's time to test this out!
Junpei: Hm... What if I wrap the toilet paper around the broom...
We get... a broom wrapped in toilet paper. (Boring! *munch* *crunch*) But I think the result we'll get won't be boring at all!
Santa: Oh, so you wrapped the toilet paper around the broom, huh? Looks like the symbols line up perfectly.
([sarcasm] So this "code" was written on a broom handle. That's really special... [/sarcasm])
Santa: It says "634+"!
Okay, now what's in that box next to the toilet paper?
'A wooden box.'
(I think that's easy to figure out.)
'There's something in here...'
Hurray! It's a...bottle of luminol. (Huh?) It's a substance used to make even wiped off blood stains more visible under a black light. (How do you know...?) "That"? Ace Attorney games and the Forensic portion of Trauma Team. (You do know that link leads to the TV Tropes.org page for Trauma Center, right?) Yeah, it's just that Trauma Team's a part of that game series and Trauma Team no longer has it's own page.
Santa: What the hell is this thing? Some kinda spray bottle? There's somethin' written on it... "Lumin--..." Can't read anything else, the label's all faded.
(Over nine-thousand Internets says Seven will mysteriously know what that stuff is!)
Seven: Lemme see that.
'He just grabbed it from him... That wasn't very nice...'
Indeed.
Seven: Oh, this is luminol.
(Ha! What did I tell you!? I was right, again!)
Seven: You know, forensics guys use it at crime scenes.
Santa: Oh yeah, that stuff that glows blue when you spray it on blood?
I wonder if it glows red if you spray it on the blood of a sufficiently noble troll...
Santa: Even if the blood's been wiped off, it'll still glow.
You forgot the black light, Santa! Anyway, backing up and now to check the middle stall... is there anything in the toilet? (Ew! Somebody needs to clean that thing!) Might as well tap on the mystery stain.
June: What do you think this is...?
Santa: It looks like tar... It's kinda sticky. I don't think we can just wipe it off... I doubt just pouring some water on it's gonna help much either...
June: What about...hot water?
Santa: Hot water?
Well, what with the more excited water molecules bouncing around, stuff is more likely to be dissolved... Unless we're talking about old blood stains, and I'm not sure how that works...
June: If we had some really hot water, like boiling hot, then maybe that would wash it off.
Anything in the toilet tank?
Santa: It's a water tank for a toilet.
Seven: I've seen a lotta OC guys try an' hide a piece in something like this. Usually for a 187 or something. Guess they think it's clever. Dunno when they'll figure out everybody else thinks it's clever too...
Santa: Huh?
Well, that's the reason if we end up in a room with toilet in it somewhere, I end up looking in there.
Santa: I mean, I know "piece", but...what's "OC"?
Seven: Organized Crime.
*facepalm* (This time, it's that even you didn't figure that out.)
Junpei: What is that, some kinda police slang?
Seven: Huh? U-Uh...probably...
'Huh? What'd I say? Why's he look all sad now?'
Santa: That's not really important right now, guys. Let's just check it out, all right?
'Well, he's not wasting any time.'
Hey, that looks like a red-handled screwdriver down there! (And it is a screwdriver!) Looks like we're going to have to drive some screws! And not stab someone! (Is that because you mentioned Trauma Team earlier?) Yeah, and in one of the Forensic cases, someone died due to a screwdriver stabbing to the lung...
June: It's a screwdriver. We can unscrew things with this. Was there something we needed to unscrew somewhere?
Well, let's see if we can raid anything else out of the water tank...
'The toilet's tank.'
Missed!
'There's nothing in it. ...Which means we can't flush it. Kinda hard to flush a toilet without water.'
Well how about that toilet paper holder or the roll in it?
'There's some toilet paper on this shelf.'
Okay, let's back up and try again...
'The dividing wall that separates the toilets.'
Missed again! And...we're just getting nowhere with this, next stall to the right! Anything in this toilet?
Santa: There's nothing in the toilet.
Seven: If there was, that would be...gross.
(Well, Pansy, if you need to barf, there's where you can go do that.) Anything in the tank?
Seven: There might be something in the tank, you know?
Exactly!
Seven: Let's open that shit up...
What's this red and black...box in there? It's a... red key card?
Seven: It's a red card. Probably a key card. Do you remember if you saw a card reader anywhere around here?
Well, at least there's water in this tank. Can we use that in some way?
'The tank where the red card was. Nothing here now...'
Dang it! Backing up and to the right... I see a metal door... That I have no idea what to do with. To the right again and... What's this metal panel in the shower wall? Behind it is a series of six levers and a note taped to the back wall. (Let's see what the note says.)
'There's a piece of paper tied to this pipe with a wire... [Notice: Drainage Valve Operation] "Please do not flush the water in these pipes. Doing so may cause the drain to overflow."'
(Heh-heh... Challenge accepted!) Well, those are not screws, there's no card reader, and the number "834+" has no meaning here, moving on... How about we apply that luminol to the bloody letters on the wall?
Seven: Wait... You don't really think we're supposed to use the luminol here, do you?
Junpei: Yeah, it does seem kinda weird to use it here. But maybe I should try it just in case.
And...
'Okay, I've sprayed the luminol on the wall. What's next...'
Nothing. Lights! *Akurei takes the stylus and hits the nearby light switch.* Thanks... Now we've got: L. L. R. L. R. L. ...Wait a minute, let's try it like this...
Upper row: L. L. L.
Lower row: L. R. R.
(Again, you suck at ASCII art.) At least it gets the point across! Well, there's six letters I think I know what to do with those switches! First lower one is to the left, the next one up is also to the left, the next one down is to the right, then to the left, right, and left!
'Well, I did what it said on the wall... I wonder if it actually did anything...'
Well, let's back up and see...
Santa: Hey, this drain's acting up!
(Of course it's acting up! Did you hear us read the note!?)
Santa: What the hell did you do?!
(We flushed the water in the pipes, and that's causing the drain to overflow. Duh!)
Junpei: I just messed with the valves a little. Nothing big...
Let's see... apply bucket to drain water...
'There must be water flowing though the pipe on the right... There's water pouring out of the drain.'
We obtain a blue key card... that has the Mercury symbol on it.
June: It's the blue key card.
Junpei: This is...um...the symbol for [Mercury], isn't it? There was an elevator right outside of the big hospital room... I think that same symbol was on the card reader next to it.
June: That's right.
Junpei: I guess that means we're not supposed to use this card in this room.
June: Umm... Do you really think so? You don't think maybe we need it for this room, and for the elevator?
Okay...how about using one of the shower heads? (Really?) Yeah, I mean, that's how I cleaned the garbage can toilet bucket during the trip to the 9th circle of hell... (Seriously! You had to stick to the arc number of "9" even with this stuff!?) Look a camping trip to a snow-covered mountain town over five-hours away from home turned really shitty at the end, so I might as well've been in the deepest circle of hell... (Which is, by the way, a place where a snowball does have a chance of survival!) Because, if you believe what's described in the epic poem "The Inferno", yes, the 9th circle of hell is frozen over. (Well, how about using the cards on that number pad by the metal door?) Well, red card first, let's see if this works...
June: The red light's on, Jumpy!
All right! Let's try the blue Mercury card next!
June: Great job, Jumpy! Both of the lights are one now! Now you just need to put in the password...
But... (We have no idea what that is!) Wait, how about we take that bucket to the water tank with water in it. (Well, what's the worst that can happen? Nothing.) I tap on the stalls from in front of the door and...
Santa: Uh, I already checked all 3 toilets, you know... Nothing unusual there.
Okay, looks like we have to turn left first... Now to try the bucket on it...
'The tank where the red card was. Nothing there now...'
Damn it! (Well, you did mention shower heads earlier.) Oh, right, yeah. Turn around, to the right or the left twice, either way is fine. First the one one the left...
'Maybe I can use the shower here to fill the bucket with hot water...'
Junpei: Hey, Seven, could you turn on the shower? I'm gonna put the bucket under the head.
Seven: Ah. Okay, sure thing.
Now we have a bucket filled with hot water!
Junpei: It's filled with water. Try not to spill it, okay?
June: I-It's heavy...
Junpei: Okay, okay. I'll carry it.
(Good thing we're practically ghosts, because we don't have to worry about shit like that!) (But we're still alive!) "And believe me I am still alive!" ("I'm doing science and I'm still alive!") "I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive!" (No! NO! No singing!) Oh! Here's a first... (What!?) This time... You're going to have to make a contribution to the jar! (What!? That wasn't a reference to that silly movie or show!?) Except that... (There's a character in "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" who... demands that his son doesn't sing.) (Huh... How about we just take two dollars off of both of your tabs?) I'm fine with that. Now to the toilet with the tar stains! And now we use the bucket of hot water on the tar stain...
'There's something that looks like tar inside the toilet bowl.'
Junpei: If I flush the hot water from the bucket, that should clean it up...
I try again and...nothing, it's just the same as above. (I think you should put the water in the tank first.) Okay, let's try that.
Junpei: All right, so I just pour the hot water into this tank, and...
Seven: Looks like you filled it. Now you should be able to flush it, right? There's probably a handle somewhere on the tank that you can pull.
Junpei: You think so?
Seven: Serious? Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
I think there should be a handle or something outside the tank... And it's not there, back to the inside of the tank!
Junpei: All right, let's flush the hot water. Well, there it goes. Just like a toilet should work.
And inside the bowl is...
Seven: That stuff's washed off... Looks like that writing was numbers. See it?
June: "185="...?
(So, let's see... 634+185=... "819".)
June: What is this?
Seven: You got me. Just looks like numbers...
Well, let's see if Akurei's answer is the password...
Santa: Both lights are on. We should be able to enter the password now...
Junpei: What's with these "E" and "C" keys?
Santa: "E" means "Enter", and "C" means "Clear", I think. So after you put in the password, hit "E". If you screw it up, hit "C".
Let's see here... 8, 1, and...9, enter... "ERROR"? (Well, we haven't use the screwdriver for anything yet.) How about the screwdriver to the shower hand rail?
'Really hot water comes out of this shower. I get the feeling it might still be useful for...something else...'
But we've already got the Mercury key card, so that's a bust. How about if that screwdriver does anything with the drain where we found the card?
'There's water flowing out of the drain where we found the key card.'
Nope, nothing. I try to tap the shower drain, but instead...
'The divider between the stalls. On the other side of this wall... No. I don't wanna think about that.'
Okay, what about that light fixture to the left of the metal door? (Uh, that looks more like a clock than a light.) Why not try the screwdriver there?
'The thermometer was screwed onto the wall. That meant that Junpei needed to take the screws out with the screwdriver. While he was so engaged, Santa suddenly spoke.'
Santa: Hey, Junpei... You know why thermometers only go up to 107 degrees Farenheit, or 75 degrees Celsius, like this one?
Because...that's the evaporating point of mercury...? I don't know for sure.
Junpei answered without taking his eyes off the screw.
Junpei: No, can't say I ever thought about that.
Santa: At 107 degrees, the cells in the human body start to die, and the organs begin to shut down. The proteins in your cells start to harden.
So, that's why temperatures in the lower one-hundreds is considered dangerous.
Santa: It's like when you hard-boil an egg. Even if you cool it down afterwards, it won't go back to being a raw egg. In other words, it's dead. That's why thermometers don't go past 107. There's no point.
Okay, I can see why that'd be relevant for "human body temperature" but is that still relevant for environmental temperature?
'Why had Santa brought that up, Junpei wondered.'
(It's not pretty, and it's also a spoiler, so I shouldn't say anything more about it.)
Junpei: Oh yeah?
'He continued to work at the screw.'
Santa: But it's pretty rare for a fever to get that high. Even viruses and stuff don't usually drive the body temperature up to 107. Of course, there are other, external things that could...
Junpei: ...Like what?
Santa: Well, let's see... Something like getting locked in a sauna... Or getting thrown into an incinerator and burnt to death...
(That last one was kind of specific, Santa-boy...)
Junpei: Ha! Yeah, I guess that would get a little hotter than 107 degrees Fahrenheit.
'Junpei gave a short, barking laugh. A moment later, the screw fell off. With a small tug, Junpei pulled the thermometer from the wall.'
Junpei: All right! I got it!
'He looked up and saw Santa, glaring at a blank section of wall.'
Junpei: H-Huh? What's up...?
The sky. (The ceiling.) (*facepalm* Enough of this...)
Santa: ...
Junpei: ...
Santa: Nothing. Forget about it.
'Santa spun around and walked off, away from Junpei. But as Junpei watched him go, he didn't look angry... He looked very, very sad.'
And we have a thermometer... (You've already hit the search button for the other crap we picked up. So...)
June: Oh, you took the thermometer off. It says "Open" at the bottom of the gauge... I wonder what it means...
Junpei: Maybe when it gets hot, something will open?
...The water coming out of the drain?
'There's water flowing out of the drain where we found the key card.'
Still nothing. Thermometer plus hot water from the shower?
Junpei: Yeah... If I can get this hot water on the thermometer, then maybe...
'All right, thermometer, let's get this party started... Yup, looks like that's doing the trick. There goes the gauge...And now it's at the "Open" mark.'
(So that means the water's at human-cooking temperature... Oh well, I don't mind eating raw meat. It's not like I can catch mundane diseases.)
Junpei: Hm?
'Huh. It opened... What's this...? Looks like there's a piece of paper in here...'
We've got a piece of paper...that reads "957+". (So there was something missing in the equation...)
Seven: "957+"...
Santa: That means you're supposed to add something to 957, doesn't it?
Well, it could also just mean a number that's over nine-hundred and fifty-seven. But, in this context, what you're guessing makes sense.
Seven: Well yeah, doesn't take a genius to figure that out. The problem is...what to add?
(I know this! *looks up* 957+634+185=...1776?) Isn't that the year the United States of America was founded? (*looks at Wikipedia* No, it's more like when the war for American independence started.) I stand corrected, like I said, human memory isn't perfect. Back to the lock... 1, 7, 7, 6, and enter... "OPEN"! It worked! (Hurray! Now let's blow this proverbial popicle stand!) Back away and tap on the door and...
----------YOU FOUND IT!----------
'Outside the shower room was a hallway that extended off to the left and right. At the right end was a large iron door. They'd moved a few steps toward the door when Junpei heard the sound of metal on metal. They turned around. Seven was doing something to the door of the shower room.'
We know what he doing. (*sigh* Another intentional Zero Wing reference...)
Junpei: What're you doing, Seven?
(You've seen him do this back at the first class cabin.)
Seven: Well, I figure maybe we might wanna come back here sometime. So I stuck the broom in there to keep the door from shutting. All right, let's go.
'With that, he stood up and began walking down the hallway. He brushed past Junpei and kept going. After a moment, the rest of them followed him. Before long, they found themselves at the large iron door. They had only been there for a moment when June spoke up.'
June: Jumpy, look...
'He turned. There, on the right side of the hallway, was a piece of paper attached to the wall. Junpei ran over and peeled it off.'
Junpei: It's a map of the ship's interior...
'It said "C Deck" in the upper left corner. From what he could tell, it was a map of the floor they were on. There would be time to look at it later. Junpei folded the map and stuffed it into his pocket. Back at the door, the 4 of them lined up in front of it. Santa stepped forward. He grabbed hold of the door, and then turned to look back at the rest of them.'
Santa: Ready...? I'm gonna open it.
'They nodded. Santa nodded back, and threw the door open. All 4 of them leapt through... It took only a moment for them to realize where they were. They had been there only a short time ago... It was the large hospital room, filled with countless beds.'
---------------
And...I'll save the rest for next time. (See, we knew it was going to be all right.) (Still, I'm not sure if you two deserve that deduction from your jar tabs...)
Monty Python Reference Jar
Akurei: $27
Shimohi: $12
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