It's just another day in the Daily Life, here at Hope's Peak Academy...
Warning: This is an LP of a game that contains blood, intense violence,
strong language, and suggestive (read "sexual") themes. If any of those
things offend you, don't click on the link below.
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'*Ding dong, bing bong*'
Monokuma: Good morning, everyone! It is now 7 a.m. and nighttime is officially over! Time to ruse and shine! Get ready to greet another beee-yutiful day!
*yawn* Why do I have to wake up to that damned bell and that sadistic bear's voice...?
Monokuma: Oh, that's right! I wanted to let you know that your e-Handbooks have been updated! New regulations have been added, so please take a look and enjoy your school life more than ever before!
(Because the universe hates your guts.) [sarcasm] Ha-ha. [/sarcasm] That's not very funny, Akurei...
'The new rule has been added to the Regulations menu.'
Makoto Naegi: He must be referring to yesterday... "Loaning your e-Handbook to another student is strictly prohibited."
(Really strange text coloring choice there...)
Makoto Naegi: But right now, I need to hurry up and head to breakfast.
Might as well check the new regulation or "regulations" just to be sure. Let's see...Students... "Nighttime"... Sleeping... With... Violence... Anyone... Once... If... If... Ah, here it is! The new regulation number ten! ("Loaning your e-Handbook to another student is strictly prohibited." Yeah, it's an obvious rule patch.) The "We'll add more rules whenever we want" rule was bumped to number eleven. Anyway, on to the dining hall!
'Leave the area?'
-Yes-
-No-
(Later, at the dining hall...)
Aoi Asahina: Mornin', Makoto!
Makoto Naegi: Good morning... Is everyone here already?
Yasuhiro Hagakure: Nope! Still waitin' on Byakuya and Taka.
...Oh, right. Togami and Ishimaru-kun.
Makoto Naegi: Byakuya's no surprise, but it's strange Taka's not here yet...
Indeed, where's the Ultimate Moral Compass?
Celeste: Knowing Taka, I imagine he is trying to get the King of Tardiness up and out of bed.
Yeah, point...
Sakura Ogami: I'm sure they'll be here soon enough. Just be patient...
Celeste: I don't mind waiting for them, but there is one problem...
Makoto Naegi: Which is...?
Celeste: I am thirsty.
...Really!? (THAT'S it!!?)
Mondo Owada: How the hell is that a problem!?
Celeste: Hifumi, would you make me some tea?
Hifumi Yamada: ...Huh?
Celeste: Milk tea, if you please.
Hifumi Yamada: Wh...why me?
Celeste: Your roundish figure reminds me of the owner of the coffee shop I used to frequent.
Makoto Naegi: That's your reason...?
Indeed. That's quite a silly reason for someone to brew tea.
Celeste: I can feel my throat drying out. Quickly, please.
Hifumi Yamada: O-Okay...
Makoto Naegi: Apparently unable to refuse Celeste's order, Hifumi skulked his way into the kitchen. And a few minutes later...
Hifumi Yamada: Thank you for waiting!
Makoto Naegi: Hifumi reappeared with tray in hand, the gentle aroma growing stronger as he approached.
Celeste: Hmhmhm. Finally...
Toko Fukawa: You c-could've made some for the r-rest of us, you know...
*sigh* Okay, Fukawa has a point there...
Hifumi Yamada: I emphatically decline! You're not my type at all!
Well, regarding just Fukawa, I can understand; but what about the rest of us!?
Hifumi Yamada: Hmhm... It's all about the law of causality, basic instinct, act and react!
Toko Fukawa: Grr...
Indeed... (Meyer got what was coming to her!) "Meyer"? (You know, like the family name of the author of that satan-awful Twilight Saga...) (Hey! That book series is actually popular!) I can see your point. (*sigh*)
Celeste: Well then, if you don't mind...
Makoto Naegi: A small smile played across her lips as she held the tea cup delicately in her hand...
Celeste: ...Wait.
What is it now?
Makoto Naegi: She cocked her head tot he side...and threw the cup as hard as she could at the wall!
Hey! (Broken porcelain is a safety violation!)
'*CRASH*'
I heard something break, now who's going to clean up that mess before someone gets hurt!?
Hifumi Yamada: What the--!?
What Alphmega said!
Hifumi Yamada: H-Hey! What are you doing, my little white rabbit!?
"White rabbit"?! I think Celestia's more like the Queen of Hearts than anything else...
Celeste: I HATE this kind of tea!
Well! EXCUUUUUUUUSE me, Princess! You were the one who ordered "Milk Tea" in the first place! (Heh-heh... Get it? Shimohi and I usually imply she's a corruption of "Princess Celestia"!)
Hifumi Yamada: U-Umm...I don't understand...
Celeste: Imagine we are at a coffee shop--just any normal everyday cafe. I sit down, and order some tea. Then they ask me, "Would you like lemon, or milk?"
Huh... Is anyone going to clean up that broken cup?
Celeste: Now, further imagine that I replied, "Ah, yes, I would like milk tea, please." In this case, along with my tea they may bring me a small container of milk, yes? But this is not for me! I am among those who prefer the milk to be part of the process from the outset! The fragrance is just so overwhelmingly sweet that way... Adding milk or lemon right before you drink is like dousing your fries in ketchup--mere condiments!
Yeah, okay, is your rant about how exactly Alphmega fixed your tea done yet?
Celeste: Whenever looking for a cafe, I first review their menu to see if it offers the proper style of milk tea. And I cannot acknowledge any "milk tea" that does not add the milk during the brewing process!
Makoto Naegi: If I had to describe our shared reaction to what we'd just heard...I'd have to go with "wide-eyed bewilderment."
Yeah, especially considering that she callously destroyed a perfectly good tea cup over this, I'd say that Celestia's a thoroughly spoiled brat!
Hifumi Yamada: Umm...I went to all the that trouble to make you that tea...and you wanted me to go even farther?
Again, is anyone going to clean up the remains of that cup!?
Makoto Naegi: You seem rather focused on that broken cup...
Celeste: Yes, I realize it can be a bit of a hassle.. Even in cafes that offer proper milk tea, it is always more expensive than simple tea with milk. It takes more time to prepare, surely, but...why even bother creating a menu if you are not going to offer the highest level of quality!?
Well, in case their customer base CAN'T AFFORD IT for one...
Hifumi Yamada: Well, um...we don't actually have a menu...
Celeste: That does not matter. Hurry up and bring me what I asked for, swine!
Hifumi Yamada: WHAAAAAT!? O-Okay! Your little piggy will bring it right out!
...Seriously?! (*sigh* Your "hero" has no self-respect what-so-ever.)
Celeste: Hmhm. I do so love coercion.
Aoi Asahina: You were like...a totally different person just now.
Mondo Owada: Yeah, shit... You really went psycho there.
Celeste: Hmhmhm...
Makoto Naegi: I knew there was more to her when I first met her... I'd hate to have her as an enemy.
(Ooo boy... You're really going to not like it later...) Naegi-kun, I have a bad feeling about this...
Makoto Naegi: Seriously, man. She's one scary chick...
You can say that again.
Makoto Naegi: ...the dining hall doors flew open, and one of the late arrivals came storming in.
I'm guessing that would be Ishimaru-kun...
Makoto Naegi: But...
Kiyotaka Ishimaru: Bad news, everyone! There is a mystery afoot!
Called it!
Yasuhiro Hagakure: Huh? What happened?
Kiyotaka Ishimaru: It would seem Byakuya refuses to leave his room! I stood there pressing his doorbell over and over, but he never showed himself.
It could just be that he's not in his room...
Makoto Naegi: Maybe he just...wasn't there.
Kiyotaka Ishimaru: I'd like to think so. But I'm worried something might have happened to him.
Makoto Naegi: What he meant by that... He didn't have to say anything else. Everyone understood exactly what that might mean...
(Ah don't worry, he's actually one of the few who survive this.) Are you sure about that?
Makoto Naegi: I-It might be a good idea if we all split up and go look for him.
Kiyotaka Ishimaru: Ah! I was just about to suggest the same thing!
Toko Fukawa: Stop trying to one-up e-everyone...
Aoi Asahina: Okay, then I'll go check his room one more time. I'm just gonna keep on hammering that button till I get a response!
Sakura Ogami: Very well, then the rest of us can go check the rest of the building.
Yasuhiro Hagakure: Yeah. Before it's, y'know...too late.
Makoto Naegi: ...
*sigh* Why do I bother being surprised at the stuff Supernova says anymore...
Makoto Naegi: Anyway, we have to just do our best to find Byakuya. So where might Byakuya have gone...? Maybe he went to go check out the 2nd floor of the school again...
(And I know just the place! The library!)
'Leave the area?'
-Yes-
-No-
Let's see... Okay, there's no one around who can see us... Okay, we're going to teleport to the stairs leading to the... (Still locked, for now...) ...third floor! (Once there...) Oh crap! Fujisaki-san saw us! (Or did he...?) Akurei, Fujisaki-san's a girl. ([sarcasm] Right... [/sarcasm]) Anyway, let's talk to her and find out...
Chihiro Fujisaki: Oh, hey Makoto.
Makoto Naegi: So? Did you find Byakuya?
Chihiro Fujisaki: N-No...I didn't see him anywhere.
Makoto Naegi: I see...
Chihiro Fujisaki: Somehow, Kyoko figured out where he might be...
Makoto Naegi: Huh...
Probably not though supernatural means like I did.
Chihiro Fujisaki: Kyoko's so amazing... She's so cool. She's smart, and she seems really tough...
Yeah... (So you DO have a crush on Kirigiri-san!) ...So what if I do.
Makoto Naegi: "So what if you", what?
Oh, nevermind...
Makoto Naegi: She's definitely smart, that's for sure. But...tough? Compared to say, Sakura or even Hina, she doesn't seem all that different from Chihiro.
Mental fortitude and the like.
Makoto Naegi: ...Is it weird to compare them like that?
I'd say, "No."
Chihiro Fujisaki: Ahh...
I'm checking the other possible teleport area and... (Yeah, it would've been better if you took the other teleport point. We're just lucky that Fujisaki-san was obviously distracted by something else so that our sudden appearance went unnoticed.) Anyway, to the library!
Makoto Naegi: When I opened the door to the library and looked inside...
And there's the creepy music again...
Makoto Naegi: ...I cried out in sudden surprise. Byakuya!? What "creepy music"?
*sigh* I shouldn't be too surprised you can't hear this tune that sounds like a forlorn violin and howling winds...
Makoto Naegi: Of all the things I'd imagined, this most definitely wasn't one of them... Hey, uh...what are you doing?
Well, at least the music's calmed down...
Byakuya Togami: I'm fishing. What does it look like I'm doing?
Well, it most obviously looks like he's reading something, but the question is. "What are you reading?"
Byakuya Togami: I'm trying to read. So if you could be quiet...
Makoto Naegi: Oh...sorry. Wait, no--! What are you doing here? Everyone's super worried! We've all been looking for you!
Byakuya Togami: Who asked you to do that?
Makoto Naegi: B-Because...we're all supposed to meet up in the morning and eat together. We made a promise!
Byakuya Togami: A promise...? *Sigh* Can't I get a second's peace and quiet around here?
Makoto Naegi: Byakuya snapped his book shut, and slowly stood up, smooth and silent as a shadow. Meanwhile, the others must have heard me yell and started showing up, one after another.
Kiyotaka Ishimaru: Byakuya! So this is where you've been hiding!
(What!? Is Ishimaru-kun going to get the paddy wagon?) (*facepalm*)
Yasuhiro Hagakure: The heck are you doin' here, man?
Sakura Ogami: We were very concerned...
Byakuya Togami: Well you had no reason to be. I was just reading.
Dude, not everyone... (Can read minds...) (Or see the future.) I know I can, but still...
Byakuya Togami: I've never read such a...coarse novel before, but it might just prove useful at some point.
Aoi Asahina: Wh-What were you reading?
Thank you, Asahina-san! Thank you for asking the question that really should be asked! (Only according to you.)
Byakuya Togami: A mystery novel.
Oh, right, a dying message came up in the proceedings of the class trial yesterday...
Hifumi Yamada: W-Wait, so are you going to use what you're learning in there to betray us!?
Byakuya Togami: Don't be stupid.
Makoto Naegi: Yeah!
I'm kind of surprised you're agreeing with Togami like that. But still, I can see how one can use information from mystery novels to attempt to be more genre savvy...
Byakuya Togami: It's just something to keep in mind.
And now, the music's become more frantic and... danger-filled...
Makoto Naegi: Yea--what?
Byakuya Togami: If I decide to fight, of course I'll come up with something original. Otherwise, this game of ours will be totally boring, right?
Dude, treating our situation as a game like this! That's not cool! (But this IS a...) (Monster! Are you really going to claim that we're all characters in a video game somehow!?) (That's because WE ARE characters in a...) (La la la! We're not listening!) (Let's Play of a Video Game.) (*screams* Why!? Why must you spout crazy stuff like this all the time!?) *hands on ears* Ouch! Niyagi, that screaming hurt! (But you're a ghost! You don't have physical ears, hence why you can only hear what Makoto hears...) ...In additon to Daemon's and you two's voices. That was a mental scream and it gave me a psycological headache, okay!
Byakuya Togami: It's not often you get to take part in such high-stakes, high-tension activity. So if you're going to do it, you have to make sure it's entertaining. Mhmhmhm...
Makoto Naegi: His words sent a chill down my spine.
(You sure it wasn't just Shimohi here?)
Makoto Naegi: There was an undeniable smile on his face as he spoke. He looked like he was actually enjoying himself... Enjoying this deranged "killing game"...
Mondo Owada: What the fuck do you mean, "game"!? That's fucked up!
What Owada said.
Byakuya Togami: But it *is* a game.
(In a strange way, he's kind of right.) (Of course you'd think THAT way, demonic monster!) (Why thank you.)
Byakuya Togami: It's a game of life or death, which can have only one winner. That's all there is to it.
(Like The Hunger Games! Speaking of which...) ...Really!? Do you really want me to say that? (Yes.) *sigh* This could really creep out Naegi-kun but... "Happy Hunger Games! And may the odds be ever in your favor!"
Celeste: He is right. It's a zero-sum game.
Makoto Naegi: Huh?
Celeste: It is part of game theory, a mathematical model. In game theory, what we are going though now is called a "zero-sum game." In this type of game, in order for one person to gain something, another must necessarily lose something. In other words, it is a situation in which participants must compete for position or resources.
Sakura Ogami: You mean like...a kind of elimination match.
Well that's one way to put it.
Celeste: Entrance exams, sports tournaments, job openings--most social interactions fall into this category. Everyone must scramble to obtain something which is limited. For you to succeed, someone else must fail. This also applies to the school life we have been subjected to here. In this case...our "limited resource" is that only one of us can successfully become the blackened.
(Are you sure about that?)
Byakuya Togami: So, this game was designed from the beginning to force one of us to try and defeat all the others.
Makoto Naegi: Th-That...that can't be what they had in mind!
(Search your heart, Naegi-kun, you know it to be true.) Right now, I'm just glad that he can't hear you...
Celeste: This is why adaptation is so crucial. If those who want to escape were to disappear, there would be no reason to continue playing the game.
Speaking of which, I LOST THE GAME! (...Excuse me, I'm going to have to borrow the nearby desk... *headdesk*)
Byakuya Togami: But why would I want to stop playing? It's so much fun...
...I think my sarcasm detector's broken. (Your "sarcasm detector" has ALWAYS been broken. Hence my existance.)
Makoto Naegi: He smiled again as he spoke.
(And the verdict is, that wasn't sarcasm...) (He's just a sadistic douchebag.) (What!? How could you even say that!?)
Makoto Naegi: The smile was filled with evil intent. It twisted his face into something not human...
(*drops monocle*) (Where did you even GET a "monocle"?) (Hammerspace, but that's not the point... The point is... Shimohi, do you think he might actually be a demon in disguise?) How should I know?
Celeste: It sounds as if you do not acknowledge even the possibility that you might lose, am I right?
Byakuya Togami: Of course.
(Wait, can he see into the future like I can?) Wait, so you're saying he really isn't going to lose?
Celeste: You do not speak like the others. Exactly what I would expect from the Togami heir apparent.
Yasuhiro Hagakure: ...It's just normal arrogance, isn't it?
*sigh* I have to admit that Supernova does have a point...
Aoi Asahina: You talk like that, but what if you end up dead!?
Byakuya Togami: I won't. It simply isn't possible.
(At least, not in this timeline if things turn out as I saw them...)
Mondo Owada: Who the fuck do you think you are!?
Byakuya Togami: You know, I still just can't believe it...
Mondo Owada: Believe what!?
Byakuya Togami: That an uneducated, brain-dead, useless piece of garbage like you has survived this long.
Mondo Owada: I'm gonna fuckin' kill you!
Dude, NO! That's exactly what Monokuma wants! (Oh, he's going to end up killing someone alright. Just not Togami-kun.) Wait, now YOU'RE using the honorific "kun" with him?
Makoto Naegi: Talking to yourself again?
...Yeah, let's just go with that.
Byakuya Togami: Like I said. I won't die.
Yasuhiro Hagakure: You keep saying that, but--
Celeste: Do not bother arguing with him. For him, the concept of losing simply does not exist.
(Aw... And here I was, hoping he was a demon like me...) Yeah, that's not really going to happen...
Celeste: He is the Ultimate Affluent Progeny, after all--a boy raised to succeed from the day he was born. He considers victory his destiny, and has lived his life accordingly. Tests and challenges are merely ways for him to stand victorious. Even if it is a life-and-death situation.
(Well, yes, this does make some kind of sense. But...) "But..." what? (That doesn't mean I have to like it.) That's the spirit!
Celeste: ...Is that not so, Byakuya?
Byakuya Togami: At least one of you seems to understand.
Celeste: It is because I am the same as you. Games are meant to be won.
Byakuya Togami: Are you trying to suggest we're on the same level? Close that vulgar mouth of yours.
Celeste: Well, well. I do apologize.
Byakuya Togami: Anyway, let me just say this to all of you. You all need to try harder. If an opponent isn't going to give it their best, where's the fun for me?
Dude, despite what you or even your parents might have told you, the world DOESN'T REVOLVE AROUND YOU! (Yeah... You do remember that he can't hear you. Right?)
Chihiro Fujisaki: Th-That's a terrible way to look at it...
Byakuya Togami: Hmm?
Chihiro Fujisaki: This...isn't a game. Our lives are on the line, you know... To kill your own friends is...is... It's horrific!
Of course a situation where you're forced to kill your friends is going to inspire a feeling of horror. (I'm going to call this right now, Togami-kun's going to declare that "he has no friends" or something to that effect...)
Byakuya Togami: Friends? Who decided that?
Chihiro Fujisaki: ...Huh?
Byakuya Togami: We're not friends. No, quite the opposite. We're in competition--we're enemies.
(See! I was right...again!) (That's not a noteworthy feat, coming from you...)
Chihiro Fujisaki: B-But...you know...
Byakuya Togami: But what? Stop trying to force your contradictions on me and just accept what I'm telling you.
Chihiro Fujisaki: U-Um...
Byakuya Togami: Yes? If you have something to say, say it. Otherwise, keep your mouth closed.
Chihiro Fujisaki: ...I-I'm sorry...
Mondo Owada: Hey, shithead! You get off on bullying people that can't fight back? You wanna try that on me!?
(What Owada-kun said!) Indeed...
Byakuya Togami: So, you're back to pretending to be friends, huh? And how long do you think that's going to last?
(Yeah... Togami-kun has a point as well... [barely audiable] Especially what's going to happen to those two... [/barely audiable]) Akurei, are you trying to hide something? (No, absolutely nothing. I am not hiding anything.) [sarcasm] Right... [/sarcasm]
Mondo Owada: Fuck you!
Byakuya Togami: Is that all you can say? It's unfortunate you would waste your breath on such empty gibberish.
...Okay, why isn't THIS ASSHOLE Daemon's vessel? He's practically a dead ringer for the jerk, not counting appearance, aside from the fact that he isn't a jock...
Mondo Owada: That's it! You're fuckin' dead!
Aoi Asahina: H-Hold on! Just calm down!
Mondo Owada: I AM calm!
Doesn't sound like it to me, dude.
Aoi Asahina: How is *this* "calm"!?
What Asahina-san said. (What!? Are you just going to avoid saying "What she said" the entire time?) (Mostly because you're always making immature jokes whenever he DOES say that...) ...maybe if I feel in the mood for some crude humor.
Makoto Naegi: I don't think I want to know about how *that* came up.
Byakuya Togami: Anyway...I don't have any intention of working with the rest of you any longer. To cooperate during an elimination game is...
("Suicide"? But it worked so well for Katniss and Peeta!) (Also, Toast for the win!) Didn't know you were into that... (What?)
Byakuya Togami: Well, frankly, it's a waste of time. And I hate wasting my time.
(Well, that goes to show that the Monster isn't right about EVERYTHING!)
Makoto Naegi: Waste of time...?
Byakuya Togami: Engaging in "friendly" group meals is out of the question. Someone could easily poison our food.
(And yet, in the primary time line I'm seeing, that never happens.)
Byakuya Togami: And I'd rather not become part of the Last Supper just yet.
That'd be more likely to happen if there were thirteen people at the table. (What!?) No, seriously, if you count Jesus, there were thirteen people at the table during the Last Supper... (Yet another reason why the number thirteen could be considered an "unlucky number" among you humans. Aside from Loki's habit of party crashing and what happened to the Knights Templar...)
Mondo Owada: Quit talking like you're in a fuckin' movie or something!
(Yeah, especially considering that we're in a fucking video game! Okay, more like the Let's Play of a video game... But you know what I mean!) Actually, I don't know what you mean Akurei...
Byakuya Togami: All I'm saying is that, ultimately, you are all free to do whatever you want on your own. Goodbye.
And... He's gone.
Makoto Naegi: Without a second glance back, Byakuya left.
And... The howling wind and sad violin is back... (Can you please stop commenting on the "background music"!)
Makoto Naegi: There wasn't anything we could do to keep him from going. His way of thinking was just beyond anything the rest of us could even comprehend.
([sarcasm] Satan, it's almost like he thinks he's beyond good and evil or something... [/sarcasm] ...That's so cool!)
Yasuhiro Hagakure: Was he serious about all that...?
Sure sounded like it to me.
Celeste: He was, without a doubt.
Mondo Owada: Well fuck him, then.
Toko Fukawa: B-But what he said... He might no n-necessarily be wrong... I mean, can you s-say for sure someone *won't* posion our f-food?
Aoi Asahina: Hey, come on! You too, Toko!?
Toko Fukawa: Well, it's n-not like anyone would care even if I w-was gone, right...?
Mostly because most people don't want to hang around someone who complains... (...or "bitches and moans"...) *ji...* ...constantly, at all times.
Toko Fukawa: Actually, I bet you all *w-want* me gone! You all think I'm d-disgusting!
Assuming that IS, in fact, "true" it's only because your attitude is what's disgusting.
Makoto Naegi: None of us think that... And no, I'm not counting the "ghost" haunting my mind.
Meh, fair enough.
Toko Fukawa: You j-just *think* you don't think that!
That... Doesn't make any sense what-so-ever.
Yasuhiro Hagakure: I know some people like to play the victim, but this is just...totally out there.
*facepalm* Again, what Supernova said...
Toko Fukawa: You think I d-don't know, but I do... You want me g-gone! And I'm s-sure...the rest of you want the same th-thing, don't you!?
Makoto Naegi: Ah, hey! Toko, wait!
Celeste: Just let her go. Once she gets going like that, there is nothing you can say to bring her back.
Makoto Naegi: ... Ultimately, our breakfast meeting came to an end without answering any questions. Everyone headed back to their rooms... Jeez, I'm tired already...
If that was a side-effect of my presence, I'm sorry...
Makoto Naegi: But I don't have time to take even one day off...! I need to get myself going.
That's the spirit! (Heh-heh... You said ,"Spirit"...) Oh, shut up Akurei...
'Free Time'
(Hey, I'm curious as to what's up with Fujisaki-kun...) Don't you mean "Fujisaki-san"? (I know what I said. Anyway, why not spend some time with...) But first, to the School Store to mess around with the capsule machine. (Don't you mean "The Monomono Machine"?) I know what I said. (Ah, touché.)
'Leave the area?'
-Yes-
-No-
(At the school store...) I look at the random crap again and...
Makoto Naegi: Yup, this is definitely the school store. But there's all kinds of stuff here I wouldn't expect to find in a normal school store.
'Nice'
(And we have our ninety-second Mono Coin!) Now for what we came here to do...
'Would you like to try your hand against the almighty MonoMono Machine!?'
-Give it a shot-
-Not right now-
-Learn more about it-
Makoto Naegi: Alright, let's give it a shot.
(You do realise you're saying that out loud, right?) (We're just going to skip all the inbetween text and shit to bring you a list of all the presents we get out of the machine...) A repeat of the rose-hip tea, a Cola Cola, two Birdseed, two God of War Charms, a G-Sick, a Demon Angel Princess Figure, a pair of Shears, a DVD collection of Adorable Reactions, three Tumbleweeds, a Zantetsuken sword. That's cool! A Golden Gun... (I'm presuming a man had it first...) Speaking of which, we also have a Self-Destructing Cassette, a Silent Receiver, an Antique Doll, a globe that was apparently owned by Prince Shotoku at one point in history... (Assuming it's not like Hagakure-kun's "crystal" ball.) ...a tear of Asura, a book of "Secrets of the Omoplata", a Funplane portable game system, a book full of "Tips & Tips"... (That's rather redundant.) Paging the Department of Redundancy Department! But wait! There's more! A Kokeshi Dynamo, a Sacred Tree Sprig, a pair of Bojobo Dolls, a...Voice-Chaning Bowtie? Hey Monokuma! Did you steal this off of Conan Edogawa!? (Let's get back to the list...) Right. We also got an "If" Fax, three Green Costumes, a "Man's Fantasy"... (Looks more like a wash basin with a towel in in.) ...and that's it!
Makoto Naegi: I should probably get going...
(It seems that Fujisaki-kun's in the hallway of the second floor of the school...) (Will you STOP GETTING CHIHIRO'S GENDER WRONG!?) (Actually, you're the one who has his gender wrong.) The two of you, cut that out! Now let's go already...
'Leave the area?'
-Yes-
-No-
Now up the stairs and... There's Alphmega... There's Ishimaru-kun... Where is...? Ah, there's Fujisaki-san! In front of the door to the pool!
Chihiro Fujisaki: *Sigh* ...
(What's eating him?) (It's probably because... Byakuya was giving HER a hard time... Wait, shouldn't you already know this?) (Yeah, but I had to ask that to get you to say that.)
Chihiro Fujisaki: Oh, Makoto. I didn't realize you were there...
Makoto Naegi: Hmm... Should I try to cheer up Chihiro...?
-Spend some time with Chihiro-
-Go see who else is around-
Why not, I certainly wouldn't want anyone to treat me like Togami treated Fujisaki-san...
Chihiro Fujisaki: Yeah, I could use a little change of scenery... Do you mind keeping me company for a while...
Of course, I don't mind at all...
Makoto Naegi: I spent a nice, relaxing time with Chihiro... Chihiro and I grew a little closer today.
'Would you like to give Chihiro a present?'
-Yes, definitely-
-Not really, no-
Well, I'd like to...
'What would you like to give her?'
(I can't believe I'm saying this but, even that "mysterious voice" is referring to Chihiro as a girl!) (That's only to not spoil Fujisaki-kun's birth sex.) I wonder if that "Tips & Tips" book would be a good gift idea or not...
Chihiro Fujisaki: Huh? A present...? Yaay! Thank you so much!
Makoto Naegi: Seeing Chihiro so pleased with something I gave her makes me happy!
You and me both, Naegi-kun... (Later, at Makoto's room...)
Makoto Naegi: There's still plenty of time left. I can't just sit around here. I should head out...
(Dude! I really want to hang out with Owada-kun!) Seriously!? You don't recall the whole "punching Naegi-kun and I in the face" part? (I do remember that, it's just that I think he'd be less likely to do that again if we're cool with him, ya know.) *sigh* Fine, where is he? (He's... in the Laundry Room.) Okay, to the laundromat we go!
'Leave the area?'
-Yes-
-No-
(Later, at the laundry room...) Hey! Fujiwara-san's also here! (But we're here to speak with the Ultimate Biker Gang Leader, so let's get to it!)
Mondo Owada: I wanna get outta this depressing as shit hellhole! Get down to the beach or somethin'...
Makoto Naegi: Hmm... Should I hang out with Mondo for a while?
-Spend some time with Mondo-
-Go see who else is around-
(We're ridin' on the HIGHWAY TO HELL!) Not literally...
Mondo Owada: Hell yeah! I'm totally down to kill some time with you!
Makoto Naegi: I killed some time with Mondo...
(We get that already.)
Makoto Naegi: Mondo and I grew a little closer today.
Well, more like "closer to not getting punched in the face again."
'Would you like to give Mondo a present?'
-Yes, definitely-
-Not really, no-
Well, we do have a bunch of stuff... (Actually, I think we have just the perfect gift for him.)
'What would you like to give him?'
(Yeah, the "Fresh Bindings" to be precise!)
Mondo Owada: You had somethin' like this?
(I'm not sure that sounds good...) (Nah, Owada-kun is just rather intense.)
Mondo Owada: Why didn't you hand it over earlier!?
...And I thought that Niyagi was supposed to be the one who's the best at reading people.
Makoto Naegi: Seeing Mondo so pleased with something I gave him makes me happy!
... (Excuse us while Shimohi gets "his" mind out of the gutter.)
Mondo Owada: Hey Makoto! What's your ride?
Makoto Naegi: Huh? My ride...?
...? (*sigh* He's talking about motorcycles.) (Of course! Synonyms include "hog" and "chopper"...) Oh, right.
Mondo Owada: Yeah, man! Your hog! Your chopper! Your motorcycle!
Both of you called it.
Makoto Naegi: Oh, uh...I don't ride anything.
What? Not even a bicycle?
Mondo Owada: What!? You're not a little kid anymore, right? And you still don't have a hog!?
(Mondo, most people don't have a "hog" as you call it.)
Mondo Owada: God, you're such a fuckin' dweeb!
Makoto Naegi: Uh...sorry?
Mondo Owada: Alright man, I'm gonna educate ya! A real man rides Kawasaki, okay? That's what I ride.
(It's a brand that exists.)
Mondo Owada: You oughta see it, man. The v-twin's got that monster power, it's like you're dancin'. Course, it ain't for just anyone. You gotta have the skill to handle it!
Makoto Naegi: You must really love your motorcycle...
Mondo Owada: Hell yeah I do! I'm a goddamn biker, ain't I? We're crazy as hell!
(In Shimohi's case, it's more like he's crazy and will be going to hell as soon as he's done "haunting" Makoto...for some reason we still don't know about.)
Makoto Naegi: Yeah, you're the leader of the biggest biker gang in Japan, right?
Mondo Owada: Damn straight! The invincible Crazy Diamond gang!
(I thought it was "Crazy Diamonds"...)
Mondo Owada: You wanna come on a ride with us? The monster sound comin' outta that straight pipe... Hot damn!
(Yes! Yes! A thousand times, YES!) ([sarcasm] Too bad you're only a mental construct. [/sarcasm])
Makoto Naegi: Straight pipe...?
Mondo Owada: Come on, you gotta know what a straight pipe is, right?
Makoto Naegi: It's like...when something's missing, right? That's why it makes a "moster sound"...
He's talking about a tail pipe...
-When it's got no muffler-
-When it's piping hot-
-Like...a pipe for smoking?-
(Without a muffler!)
Makoto Naegi: It's when the motorcycle doesn't have a muffler, right?
(I don't know which is worse, that or cutting the tail pipe so it behaves like a whistle?) (How about both? Which sounds AWESOME, by the way!)
Mondo Owada: So you *did* know. Good! Then that's that! Next time we ride, you ride with us!
(In the next life...) Wait, what? (Never mind.)
Mondo Owada: Man, that makes me think back to when I first started riding. My big bro used to ride too, ya know. His name's Daiya. Daiya and Mondo--together we were the Diamond Brothers! Everyone up and down the country knew us!
I get it... ("Daiya" plus "Mondo" equals "Daiyamondo", the Japanese pronunciation of the word "Diamond.")
Mondo Owada: Course, I was always the cool one...
So, I guess that makes... ("Made"...) ...Daiya the "hot" one. (Nah, Owada-kun's way too hot-blooded to be the Blue Oni.)
Makoto Naegi: The Diamond Brothers? That sounds kinda...incredible.
Mondo Owada: The first time I went out, I ended up at the back of the pack. Eventually the cops got on us, and they surrounded me. I was in some tough shit, man!
(No "shit" Sherlock!) (*facepalm* Let me guess, you just said that for the excuse of saying the four-letter S word...)
Mondo Owada: So I pulled over, but when they came up to me... Well, let's just say it was a massacre.
(Either that or a curb-stomp battle.) Either way, it implies that people died...like I did...
Makoto Naegi: A massacre...? Man, Mondo. You must be really strong...
Mondo Owada: Of course! You can't wave the banner for our gang without that kinda strength! In a fight, they'll go for the leader first.
"Cut off the head and the body will die" and all that.
Mondo Owada: Kill the leader of the pack, ya know? That's why the other gangs come after me. So if you wanna be leader of the pack, you gotta be a tough motherfucker! You'll see what I mean when we go on our first ride. Get ready for it!
(Yes sir! *salutes*) (Did you really have to do that silly salute from Attack on Titan?)
Makoto Naegi: Actually...maybe it's better if I don't get involved in that kinda thing.
(Aw man...)
Makoto Naegi: And like I said, I don't have a motorcycle. I don't even know how to drive one!
(Well, you could get one and learn how to ride it!) Akurei, we're not going to haunt Naegi-kun forever...
Mondo Owada: Then you can ride with me!
You mean... On the same motorcycle...? ([sarcasm] Great, Shimohi's pulled out the shipping goggles again. [/sarcasm])
Makoto Naegi: Riding with Mondo... But other gangs target him first, right?
Well, I expect that he'll fight to protect his friends and fellow gang members.
Makoto Naegi: No...nooo way...
(Aw, come on!)
Mondo Owada: Hey! I said get ready for it!
...It seems that Owada-kun isn't taking "no" for an answer. (Blessed straight!) (Yeah! Blessed are the straight!) [simultaneous] Not like that! (Not like that!) [/simultaneous]
Mondo Owada: Damn, I am pumped! I can't wait to get outta here now!
Makoto Naegi: Mondo left, apparently in a pretty good mood...
Makoto Naegi: Crap... This is really bad... Even if I get out of here, I might still be in real trouble...
(With "THE LAW"! Bless, it feels good to be a gangster!) In your case, quite literally. ("Kids" don't follow the Monster's example, it's a bad one.)
'Mondo's Report Card has been updated based on your experience with him. Your maximum number of Skill Points has increased! Hey, look at you go!'
I already had more of those than I know what to do with before...
Makoto Naegi: Dragging my anxiety behind me, I went back to my room.
'*Ding dong, bing bong*'
It's that dreaded noise again...
Monokuma: Mm, ahem, this is a school announcement. It is now 10 p.m. As such, it is offically nighttime. Soon the doors to the dining hall will be locked, and entry at that point is strictly prohibited. Okay then...sweet dreams, everyone! Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite...
Makoto Naegi: Another day gone...
...and still no closer to figuring out how to escape without killing anyone.
Makoto Naegi: But even though today is over...this "game" definitely isn't. How long is this gonna keep going...?
Even I'm not sure about that...
Makoto Naegi: All the stress and anxiety kept me from falling asleep until late in the night...
Sorry about that, Akurei and Niyagi were locked in a heated yet silly argument... (Pizza!) (Ice Cream!) ...See what I mean.
'Monokuma theatre'
Monokuma: Whenever I spot a cute girl, I have a tendency to stare.
And plot to do more that just that, if you know what I mean...
Monokuma: I can't help it--I just gaze with intensity. The other day, I rode my bike to the train station... I was in the bathroom, just looking at myself in the mirror...
----------------------------------------
And... We never hear the end of that story. (Given what I know about Monokuma, that whole "stare at a cute girl" part sounds rather... interesting.) (What are you implying?) (Nothing.) (*sigh* I'd rather not include Daemon on the reference jar tab.) And you don't have to, he avoids "silly stuff" like Monty Python like the plauge. Most likely, it was just a strange coincidence. See you next time!
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