So now we tackle the laboratory... (And Shimohi makes Junpei care way too much about a lifeless mannequin.) To you, caring about anything that isn't human even on the most basic level is too much...
Warning!: This is based upon a game that's rated M for Blood, Drug
References, Strong Language, Suggestive (read 'Sexual') themes, and
Violence. If any of these things offend you, don't click on the link.
------------------------------(Last time...)--------------------------------------------
Santa: *Yawn* ...You guys are done, right?
'He stretched and continued.'
Santa: Anyway, that's pretty much it.
---(And now, we continue.)---
Santa: Clover and I will both go into separate groups. I figure I'll take [7], and Clover can take [8]. Any problems with that, Clover?
'Clover looked away, and was silent for a moment.'
Clover: Whatever...
'It was more of a dismissal than an agreement, but Santa didn't seem to care.'
Santa: All right, we're ready to go then.
(Same here, let's get this over with.)
Santa: Let's move!
'At Santa's commend, the group split, and headed for their respective doors. Santa, Seven, and June walked toward door [7]... While Clover, Lotus, and Junpei headed for door [8]. For a long moment, they stood in front of the door. Then, Lotus laid her hand against her chest, and turned to Junpei and Clover.'
Lotus: Are you ready?
Yes. (Yes!) (Kind of...)
Junpei: Yeah...
Clover: Yes...
Lotus: Then shall we go?
Yes... (Please!) (...I'm surprised to hear the Monster actually say "please".)
'The door had opened. A narrow hallway stretched out before them. Lotus and Clover leapt through the door. The moment they did, their bracelets beeped. The detonators in the bracelets had been activated. Junpei stepped forward to follow them... But as he was about to step over the threshold, he stopped.'
Dude! What the fuck is wrong with you!?
'He looked to his left... Toward door [7]... June stood there, a mirror image of Junpei. She turned and looked toward him.'
Oh, right. Forgot about this... (*facepalm*)
'Their eyes met. They nodded. Their farewell took almost 1.5 seconds. Then someone took hold of Junpei's arms, and hauled him bodily through the door. He heard the sound of the numbered door slam shut behind him. His bracelet gave a cold, electronic beep.'
Lotus: 81 seconds left! Hurry!
'Lotus snapped at him, and ran to the DEAD. Junpei and Clover followed her, as fast as they could.'
Lotus: Phew... It's stopped.
'With a shaking hand, she wiped a few beads of sweat from her forehead. Cover, however, was calm. Aloof, perhaps.'
Clover: Pointless...
'She muttered to herself, without emotion, and began to walk down the hallway, leaving behind a confused Junpei and Lotus. Lotus watched the girl's receding back with a mix of frustration and curiosity.'
Lotus: What an unpleasant girl. I bet she's not very popular with the boys.
(*sigh* I can't believe I'm going to use this statement myself but... "Pot meet kettle".) I'm not too sure about that. There are ladies, gentlemen, and variations there of who are into that... (*holds hands over head in an arc* Too much information!)
'Her sarcasm seemed a little more biting that was, perhaps, necessary, but she sighed, and started after the younger girl. After taking a moment to catch his breath, Junpei followed. The hallway made a number of turns before at last coming to a dead end. Set into the wall on the left side was a large iron door. For a few minutes, they stood in front of the door, examining it. Above the door was a plate with the word "Laboratory" engraved on it.'
Well, we'd better finish searching this place before Dexter comes along and tells us to "Get out of my la-bo-ratory!" (Really!? A Dexter's Lab reference?!)
Junpei: A [laboratory], huh...
(And not a lavatory either.) (Monster!)
Lotus: That doesn't sound very pleasant. I don't like the look of this place.
Junpei: Me either, but there aren't any other doors. It's not like we have a lot of choices.
Lotus: Junpei.
Junpei: ...Huh?
What's up?
Lotus: Please, you first.
'Junpei suspected her politeness was motivated by something other than respect.'
Junpei: Guh...
'Junpei muttered to himself and pushed open the iron door. His first steps inside were tentative, and careful, but as he examined the room, it became clear that there was no imminent danger. Lotus followed him in, and Clover brought up the rear. The room they found themselves in was divided into two separate areas by a curved wall. A thick glass window built into that wall made it possible to see into the other side of the division.'
I see we found where they do the more dangerous experiments...
'Junpei walked to the window and looked through...'
Junpei: What the hell...?
'He wasn't sure what else to say. In the center of a room shaped like a quarter-circle, a mannequin lay on what looked like a medical exam table.'
Lotus: That looks so creepy...
*looks at same scene* ...meh. (Sometimes I wonder if you're still human or not.)
'Junpei jumped a little. He hadn't noticed Lotus come up next to him.'
Lotus: You...don't think that thing is going to suddenly...sit up or something, do you?
Junpei: Well, I don't know. I mean, look at all those cables sticking out of it... If we press the wrong button, I dunno--
Lotus: Stop it.
Stop what?
Lotus: Just thinking about it is terrifying.
...Dude, robots don't scare me.
'She was gripping her arms, the knuckles on her hands white. It was then that Junpei noticed Clover... She was still standing near the entrance of the room. Her face had the appearance of calm, but it was drawn, and somehow sad. There was something almost pitiful about her.'
(Wow, I bet even she thinks Snake is dead...)
'Junpei walked over to her and, as kindly as he could, spoke.'
Junpei: Are you okay?
I'm thinking that's an obvious "no".
'Clover looked away.'
Clover: What're you talking about?
Junpei: What... I'm just worried about you. You've been real quiet...
Clover: What, I can't be quiet if I want to?
(I'm thinking it's more like, from what we've seen before, this sort of behaviour seems a bit "out of character" as Shimohi would call it...)
Junpei: Well, I mean, of course you can, I just--
Clover: Okay then, if I can be quiet if I want, just leave me alone, okay?
Junpei: C'mon, you know I can't do that.
(Especially since... Wait, can I say it?) Niyagi, can you remember the events of the first playthough without going steam train-crazy on us? (... *deep breath* I don't like what you did then, but I'm still confused why and how I pulled a train out of hammerspace...) I think it's fine. (Okay... Especially since the last time we left you alone you literally went axe-crazy on us, Clover.)
Junpei: We gotta work together...
Well, there is that too...
'Clover bit her lip, and was silent for a moment, then suddenly--'
Clover: Junpei, you just don't get it!
'Her cry took Junpei by surprise, and he stumbled backward a few steps, alarmed.'
Clover: My brother's not the kinda person who'd just leave me behind! Something happened to him...
(And, indeed, something has...)
Clover: Something...something bad...
'Junpei had nothing to say. Lotus, jolted from her mannequin nightmares by Clover's voice, turned toward them.'
Lotus: What happened...?
'Clover's eyes slid to Lotus, then back to Junpei.'
Clover: Look, just don't bother me, okay? Leave me alone...
'Finished, she turned around. Before Junpei or Lotus could say anything, Clover had begun to walk quickly away.'
Junpei: Hey! Wait, Clover! Hold on!
'He might as well have been talking to a wall, for all the notice she took of his cries. Not even slowing down, she made for a doorway cut in the wall in front of her.'
(Oh shi--!)
'Without even slowing down, she passed through the doorway--'
(--it!)
'And without warning, an iron gate fell from the ceiling like a portculus, sealing Clover in.'
Clover: Wh-What the heck?! What's going on here?!
'Clover grabbed hold of the iron bars and shook them as hard as she could.'
Junpei: Hang on! I'll get it open.
How...?
'Junpei grabbed the bars and pulled.'
(I highly doubt that's going to work.)
'In a moment, Lotus joined him. The 3 of them pulled as hard as they could, but...'
Clover: Ahhhhh!
Lotus: Ughhhh!
Junpei: Grrrrr!
(*strikes a ridiculous pose* *insert "menacing" sound effects here*) (Monster! This isn't Jojo's Bizzare Adventure!)
'...'
(Wow, even the game's shocked at the ridiculous stunt you just pulled.)
Junpei: Damnit. It's not moving...
(See, I was right.)
Clover: Wa-Wait! Are you just gonna give up, just like that!?
Junpei: No, I'm not giving up. This's gotta be another one of Zero's puzzles.
(*ding-ding-ding* Bingo! Someone give Junpei a cookie!) ...*ji...* (What are you looking at me for?! Yes, I can pull a cookie out of hammerspace... *pulls cookie out from behind back* ...but it's not like I can actually give this to Junpei. So it looks like I'll have to eat it for him. *eats cookie*)
Lotus: If it is, then there's got to be a way to open it.
'Junpei nodded.'
Junpei: Just what I was thinking. Now all we gotta do is find it. Lotus and I can look around out here. Clover, you're gonna have to see if you can find anything in there.
Clover: Oh! Yes, I'm on it!
You know what time it is! (It's time to spin the wheel of...!) (No! This isn't Good Mythical Morning!)
--------SEEK A WAY OUT!--------
Okay, so we're turning to the left... (Let's see if we can break the window first!) *facepalm* ...
'A window made of really thick glass. I don't even think a bullet could break it.'
(Well, that shoots that theory down.) Anyway, back to the original plan. Continuing to turn left 'till we see a computer. Well... More accurately the monitor, keyboard and mouse.
Junpei: This is the computer.
No, that's the monitor I just tapped.
Junpei: The power isn't on. Well, there is a power button...
But it's not going to do much without the actual computer being powered up.
Lotus: This is a waste of time.
Junpei: ...What?
Lotus: I don't see a power cable.
Junpei: Oops yeah, you're right. No power cable. This thing isn't even connected to a main computer, though! It's got a monitor, keyboard, mouse... But that's it. Just sticking the power cable in isn't going to do anything.
Wow, maybe Junpei's actually listening to us... (Not likely.)
Lotus: Oh, I don't know about that.
Junpei: ?
Okay, turning back to the right to see what looks like a control panel of sorts... And that looks like an "on" switch!
Junpei: This is...a keyhole.
Lotus: This looks like a keyhole for the activation key.
How about the screen?
Junpei: I think this thing's supposed to power that machine in the other room.
Lotus: Well, it doesn't appear to be doing that. I wonder how we're supposed to turn it on?
Oh, right, keyboard...
Lotus: This is a really old type of keyboard...
Really? It kind of looks like... Oh snap! (Better get some burn heal for that.) (Wha... Wait? Is the joke here that Shimohi's using an old type of keyboard?) (Yep, we're the type to make explaining the joke the joke itself.) Wait, that looks like an unused cable on that shelf of stuff...
Lotus: There's a lot of stuff here.
Junpei: I don't know how we could use any of these...
Lotus: Hmm... Well, I can say for sure that I do know how to use at least one of these things.
Junpei: Which one?
Lotus: The one on top. I think it's a power cable.
Junpei: The power cable, huh...
'I'll take that!'
We obtain a 3-pronged power cable!
Lotus: This is definitely a power cable. Do you remember if we ran into anything that didn't have power?
Of course, that would be that computer monitor over to our left. (Well, let's install that already!)
'This monitor doesn't have a power cable. So, one end of this cable needs to be connected to a monitor...And the other end needs to plug in under the desk. All right, let's just slip you in--'
Junpei: Huh? Well, shoot. I can't use this.
Lotus: What's wrong?
Let me guess, it only accepts a two-pronged power plug...
Junpei: This cable has 3 prongs, but the socket only has 2 holes.
Knew it!
Junpei: It's not gonna fit, is what I'm saying.
Lotus: In other words, we're gonna need a plug to change the power cable to one with 2 prongs.
Right, I recall having those plugs at my grandparents house. (Which is old enough to mostly have two-prong outlets.)
Junpei: That's right.
(What about the lockers with the red and green lights?) Okay clicking on the green lit lockers the middle of...nine locker doors open and we get... (A bottle of ethanol.)
Lotus: Ethanol... I wonder if this is for antisepsis.
Disinfecting stuff and the like...
Lotus: Oh, it says anhydrous ethanol.
Junpei: Anhydrous? Is that different from the regular ethanol?
Lotus: Come on, that's common knowledge. Anhydrous ethanol is a powerful cleaner--it can even erase marks left by a permanent marker.
(Ethanol is pretty much Alcohol.) Still, not sure what we're going to need this for. Is there anything else?
'Well, I guess that's all there is.'
Damn it! Now for the red lit ones. They're likely to be all locked but still...
'A whole bunch of steel lockers. The 9 on the right all have little red lights on them.'
Junpei: Red lights, huh...
'Well, can't hurt to give these babies a try...'
Junpei: Yep, just as I thought. Locked tight, all 9 of 'em.
Lotus: I wonder if there's anything important in there...
What about the cardboard boxes on top of the lockers?
'It's a cardboard box. There are some papers and stuff in it.'
Lotus: What's in the box?
(Not Shimohis dick, that's for sure.) (Monster!) *facepalm* Akurei, that was kind of a crude joke...
Lotus: It looks like it's quite full.
Junpei: As far as I can tell, it's a bunch of notes about some kind of experiments... But it's all really technical and...stuff. I don't really get it.
Okay, let's see if Clover found anything... (To the window! Away!) Oh! Mannequin!
Clover: Is this, like, an examination table...? There's a creepy mannequin in here, guys...
(And it's the operating room all over again...) Hold on... (Wait, are you going to tap on it again?)
Clover: There's something sticking out of the mannequin's head, like...wires or something.
Junpei: What the hell were they doing in there...
'...Huh? Why's she all quiet now?'
Clover: They were doing experiments on humans...
(Clover playing the pronoun game. *ding*)
Clover: Probably...
(And that's a cop-out. *ding*) (This isn't Cinema Sins either...)
'Oh man, now she looks sad...'
Junpei: ?
Again! (Just what are you trying to do?) (If this is anything like the ladder jokes from the third-class cabin...)
'There's a mannequin laying on the exam table. I can't really see it very well from here, but it looks like there are a bunch of electrodes sticking out of its head.'
(Wait, are you trying to activate the "science boy" gag?)
'There's a mannequin laying on the exam table. It's got a bunch of electrodes sticking out of its head.'
(Cut this out! I don't think the pay off will be worth it.)
'That mannequin looks so...sad... I gotta admit, I'm starting to feel kinda sorry for it.'
Sounds like we're getting close...
'Am I getting attached to this thing? ...Maybe I should give it a name.'
(Is this that "science boy gag" the Monster was talking about?)
'How about the Science Boy...?'
Yes! Let's see what happens now...
'Science Boy is lying on the table. His poor head is full of electrodes.'
(Okay, enough with strange stuff with that mannequin; let's get back to getting out of this lab!) Okay, okay, so. What about the table next to Science Boy? (*facepalm*)
Clover: I dunno what kind of table this is, but part of it's all black. There's a pen lying over there... I think someone probably used it to make the table black.
Junpei: Hmm... Well, if they only used the pen on one part of it, there's probably something underneath all that pen.
I think THIS is what the ethanol is here for!
Junpei: Clover, do you think you can erase it?
Clover: Yeah, sure-- Oh. This is a permanent marker.
We've got that covered... (Ethanol to the rescue!)
Clover: Junpei, do you know how to erase ink from a permanent marker?
Junpei: Erase ink from a permanent marker, huh...
Dude, Lotus just talked about something that can erase permanent marker! (*looks up* Oh well and what do you know, she did say something like that...)
Junpei: Gimme just a minute, Clover. I'll be right back.
Let's just get out that anhydrous ethanol already!
'Part of the table's been colored over in black with a permanent marker. If I could find something that could get rid of that ink, I could hand it over to Clover through the bars...'
Oh, right. To the bars!
Junpei: Clover, use this ethanol. You should be able to wipe off that permanent ink with it.
Clover: What am I gonna wipe with...?
(Your shirt?)
Junpei: Oh, well, your clothes, of course.
Clover: ...
Junpei: ...Ha ha ha! Kidding! Just kidding! Please don't look at me like that. You're scaring me.
Back to that control panel... Oh! There's these two levers...
Lotus: There are 2 levers here. Do you think they...activate something?
Junpei: Well, why don't you move one?
Lotus: All right, I'll give it a try.
And...
Lotus: Nope. Doesn't look like anything's happened.
Dang it! Well, let's see if Clover's made any progress with that ink spot...
Junpei: Clover, can you use the cloth on the table?
Clover: Use...huh?
Junpei: Soak it in ethanol, and then use it to wash off all the stuff from the permanent marker, okay?
Clover: Right, okay, so I gotta soak the cloth with ethanol.
'Well, she's got the cloth, but she seems to be having a little trouble with the bottle of ethanol... When she's ready, I should ask her to get to work on that stuff on the table.'
In the meantime, what's with that machine near Science Boys head?
Junpei: Hey, Clover, how're the power cables over there?
Clover: Huh? Wadda ya mean?
Junpei: Does the plug have 3 prongs or 2?
Clover: Uh... I dunno what you're talking about. Lemme go look.
'Guess she does have to kinda crouch down to get a look under there...'
Clover: The cable on the monitor has...uh... It's got 2 of those little metal things. What does that mean?
Junpei: That's it! Okay, can you unplug that cable and bring it over here?
Clover: Uh...okay, but...
Junpei: ...But?
Clover: Well, I can unplug it, but it's connected to the main computer... I can't take it over to you.
Junpei: Damnit, that's no good then.
Clover: Well, how about just the plug?
A plug is fine too. (That's...a disgusting meme to reference...)
Junpei: ...What?
Clover: The...plug? Well, maybe more like a...uh...connector? It's a sort of thing that makes the plug with the 3 metal thingies into a plug with 2 metal thingies.
And thanks, Clover, for that demonstration of Buffy speak.
Clover: ...Still useless?
Nope, far from it!
Junpei: Not useless! Not useless at all! That's just what we were looking for!
Clover: Okay. Can you hold on for a little bit?
Okay!
'And back down she does...'
"Down below...!" ("Down below...!") [simultaneous] "It's dark, but it's home to me you know! It's the only place I find, I can get some piece of mind. Oh, I am glad, I am working down below!" ("It's dark, but it's home to me you know! It's the only place I find, I can get some piece of mind. Oh, I am glad, I am working down below!") (Okay, stop singing that obscure song about working in the sewers already!)
Clover: All right. Unplugged. I'll hand it to you over at the bars, okay?
(Well, you heard the axe-crazy loli! To the bars!) (That...sounded absolutely and completely wrong...)
Junpei: Anyway, could you wipe off that permanent ink? Look, Clover... Right now, at this moment, you're the only person we can depend on. I'm trusting you with this.
Clover: *Giggle* You trust me.
(No kidding, this is especially surprising considering what happened in the first recorded playthrough...)
Clover: I feel kinda special.
Okay, so... Are we getting that converter or what? (*sigh* Try again...)
Junpei: Hey, Clover.
'...Aaaand she's just wandering around the table. I don't think she even knows we're calling her...'
*facepalm* Well, might as well check if that ink's gone yet...
Clover: Soak the cloth in ethanol, and...
(Some vigorous scrubbing later...)
Clover: Junpei! It's working! It's wiping the permanet ink off! Huh?
Found something, huh...
Clover: There's some kinda weird drawing under all the permanent ink...
'What's the deal with that drawing Clover found? Maybe I should ask her to take another look at the table.'
Good idea, narrator!
Clover: I wonder what this is...? There are a bunch of numbers in some kind of grid...
Junpei: I can't see it from here...
Numbers in a grid... Would that "grid" just happen to have, wait for it...nine squares? (*facepalm* I know that nine is some kind of an "arc number" here, but still...!) Or possibly 81 squares...? (*sigh* ...)
Junpei: Clover, you've got a pen and a notebook, right? Could you write those numbers down and then hand them to me through the bars?
Clover: Okay. Roger.
Hopefully, we actually get that along with the converter...
Clover: Here, Junpei. I wrote down all the numbers from the desk on here.
'Paper with numbers on it acquired.'
Thanks narrator, now I don't have to type that myself.
'New material has been added to the file screen.'
Might as well do my best to replicate that here...
3| |2
---------
|4|
---------
| |1
Well, we still need to get that three-to-two prong converter from Clover...
Clover: Here you go. The 2-prong plug.
Junpei: Thanks.
We obtain a 2-prong plug! (...And we're going to do a search on it, even though we know exactly what to do with it...)
Lotus: This's the 2-prong plug that we can use to convert the power cable from a 3-pronged cable into a 2-pronged one.
Exactly, so now... A 2-pronged plug plus a 3-pronged power cable equals...
'Okay. Put the 2-prong plug onto the head of this power cable...'
And we've got a 2-pronged power cable!
Lotus: It fits perfectly. This should be just what we need.
Indeed, to the computer! Away! (You're already in front of a computer!) Dude, not like that! Okay!
'All right, I've got the 2-pronged power cable in my hand. I'm pretty sure this will work. Under the desk I go...'
...! (No, you're not singing that song again!)
'...And let's just plug this thing into the monitor... All right, that ought to do it!'
Lotus: All right, let's turn the power on.
Junpei: Uh... I don't think anything's going to happen.
Lotus: Why not?
Let me guess, the monitor has power but not the actual box.
Junpei: Well, it's not connected to the main computer.
Lotus: You never know until you try.
'Pretty optimistic...'
Indeed, my own computer monitor has to be connected to the computer itself by a cable.
'Junpei pushed the button on the front of the monitor. With a soft hum, it turned on...'
And then a "No signal" message comes up because Junpei didn't turn the actual computer on. (No, that's what happens with your computer!)
'Streams of letters that made no sense to Junpei began to scroll across the screen.'
Hey, there's actual text on the screen on screen! (Screen-ception! *bong* Anyway, I challenge you to make some sense of it!) Challenge accepted! Let's see...
----(On the in-universe computer screen)----
'Updating rsf file...'
make dir
make_bip
27.3sec
start...
-----(Back to our regularly scheduled let's play)-----
'He had hoped it would turn on, but he hadn't expected...this...'
Junpei: Huh...? It's actually working?
Lotus: So it would seem.
Junpei: Uh... Isn't that kinda...weird?
Lotus: What?
Junpei: Well, it's not connected to the main computer, right? There's just this keyboard and monitor. The only cable connected to this thing is the power cable we just plugged in. So...why is it working?
It's a wireless connection between monitor and computer. (Oh yeah, you did go through this room before in an unrecorded playthough.)
Lotus: Maybe it's a wireless display.
'Clearly, this was a reasonable explanation to Lotus.'
And me... (...And me.)
Junpei: A...wireless display?
Lotus: Yes, it connects to your computer wirelessly. Hence the name.
It's exactly what it says on the tin!
Lotus: Have you been living in a cave, Junpei?
So... Junpei's related to Hiyoko Tousaka? (*2x facepalm combo* Shimohi... Of all the games you could've referenced... It just HAD to be that crazy dating sim with the pigeons! Did it!)
'He most certainly had not, but...'
Junpei: Is that...normal...?
Lotus: Yes, at least where I worked.
Junpei: ?
'As they spoke, the lines of letters suddenly stopped, and disappeared. The only thing left on the screen was the word "pass", followed by a colon.'
So, it's waiting for the user to type in the pass...word...
Lotus: It looks like we need to enter a password.
Junpei: Again. There must be a hint around here somewhere...
Lotus: Could you go take a look?
Junpei: Yeah. I'm on it. What are you going to do?
Lotus: I'll see if I can do something about this on my own.
Junpei: On your own?
Lotus: Yup, on my own.
'Lotus pulled over the nearest chair and dropped herself down onto it, in front of the keyboard. For a second she stared at the screen... She kneaded her hands, knuckles popping and twisted her back left, then right.'
Lotus: All right, let's kick some ass.
(On the Internet!) Which... "...is really, really great!" ("For porn!") (Not that Avenue Q song again!)
'Lotus smiled to herself and rubbed her hands together in anticipation. Then, before Junpei had time to blink, she was typing at an incredible speed, the click-clack of the keys running together like machine-gun fire.'
Junpei: Uh... Wh-What?!
'Junpei was, for once, at a loss for words.'
Lotus: Didn't expect that, did you?
Junpei: Of course I didn't!
'Lotus grinned, pleased with herself.'
Junpei: Well, at any rate, that was pretty amazing...
Lotus: *Giggle* Did you fall for me again?
(I'm not sure about Junpei, but as for Shimohi...) Well, Lotus is kind of hot, in more ways than one... (I rest my case.)
Junpei: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you mean, "again"? I'm not into you--
Lotus: I know, I know. Don't be so stubburn, shy boy...
Junpei: I'm not being stubborn, I'm not shy, and I'm not a boy.
Yeah! He's a MAN! *punch* Wait, what's the Cursed Kazoo of Kalamazoo doing here? *returns cursed kazoo to pocket*
Junpei: I'm a young, healthy 21 year-old man. I'm not gonna fall for an old lady like you.
(Ah ha! I knew there was something wrong with you!) *facepalm* Yare yare daze... (I'm thinking in this case you mean "Give me a fucking break...")
'Suddenly, the guttural roar of a furious animal filled the room.'
Dude, you just never learn, do you...
'...Or so Junpei thought, for just a moment. Lotus's hands suddenly stopped, and her shoulders stiffened.'
Lotus: Old lady...
Yeah... You're gonna die...
Lotus: Did you just say...OLD...LADY...?
'Aw crap, thought Junpei, I went too far.'
No shit Sherlock... (Hey! That's my line!)
'Oh well. It was a nice life, while it lasted...'
("See you in the next playthrough!" ...Just kidding. Junpei's not going to die...yet.)
Lotus: I've had enough of you. Go somewhere else. You're bothering me.
Junpei: ...What?
Lotus: Go see if you can find a password hint or something. I'll try and open this from here.
Junpei: ...
Lotus: You're distracting me. Go. Now.
'Lotus waved her hand in the universal gesture of dismissal. Junpei was clearly not wanted.'
"Talk to the hand, 'cause the face ain't listening."
'Time to cut my losses, Junpei thought, and left as quietly and inoffensively as he could. Junpei wandered around the room for a while, looking for anything that might help find the password for the computer. Unfortunately...'
(I'm too sick and tired of Shimohi fumbling around trying to brute force this puzzle room with vague memories.)
'He found no clues whatsoever. Nothing. He asked Clover if there was anything useful in the laboratory, but her answer was "No". Damn, he thought, looks like we've hit a dead end this time. But just as he was about to tell Lotus that his search had returned nothing...'
Lotus: All right! Bull's-eye!
Hurray!
Lotus: Junpei, I did it!
'Excited cheering erupted from near the monitor. He hurried back to find Lotus looking rather smug. She gestured for him to look at the screen, and he did. The strange text from before was gone. In its place was something entirely different.'
A man with three buttocks. (Reference jar! Now!)
'9 squares, arranged in a 3 by 3 square.'
Junpei: ...What is that?
(It's the puzzle that we need that one gird we found earlier to solve.)
Lotus: I don't have any idea. It just showed up after I cracked the password.
Junpei: You think it's a puzzle?
Lotus: It certainly looks like one.
'As she spoke, Lotus stood up.'
Junpei: ...Huh? Aren't you gonna...I dunno...do more computer stuff?
I don't think hacking's really going to help us right now.
Lotus: I can't do any more. It won't let me do any more programming. See, the keyboard...
Lotus taps on the keyboard a few times and...
Lotus: ...Nothing. So, there's nothing more I can do.
Junpei: Umm...
Lotus: Well, I guess I'll leave this to you then, Junpei.
(Or, rather, leave it to Shimohi.) Except that Lotus doesn't even know I exist...
Junpei: What!?
Lotus: Let me take a break, all right? I did my part.
'He wasn't sure what to say to that. She certainly had done her part. In fact, without Lotus, they probably would have run completely aground. I shouldn't rely on other people so much, Junpei thought to himself.'
([sarcasm] Right... It's "Junpei" who thought this. Nice projecting there "narrator"! [/sarcasm]) Akurei, seriously!? (Oops! Red alert to the existence of my awesome nachos!)
'From here on out, he told himself, he would rely on no-one else.'
[sarcasm] Yeah... [/sarcasm] We all know that Akurei, Niyagi, and I are helping you with this.
'Junpei crossed his arms and stared at the puzzle shown on the screen.'
Okay the configuration of the aforementioned puzzle is as shown... (The letter "R" indicating a red square while "G" is for a green square.)
------------
|R|R|R|
------------
|G|R|R|
------------
|G|G|R|
------------
Let's see what happens when I tap the upper-left corner square...
------------
|G|G|R|
------------
|R|R|R|
------------
|G|G|R|
------------
(Wow...I know you look at a lot of "yaoi", but this is ridiculous!) Looks like I'm not the only one who needs to get their brain out of the gutter. (Oh right, you should reset it than hit the lower-right square, upper-left, then the upper-left, and then the middle.) Uh? Well, it's not like I have any better ideas... ("NEW KEY UNLOCK"!)
Junpei: All right! I solved it!
(More like I solved it.)
Lotus: Did you hear a noise just now?
Junpei: Yeah, I did... It sounded like something unlocking...
Lotus: Where did it come from?
To the lockers!
Lotus: Look, Junpei! The lights on the lockers are green!
And green means "go"!
Junpei: Then we must have unlocked it with the computer puzzle!
So, what's inside that now open locker...?
Junpei: There's more than one key in here.
Lotus: This one is small, and looks like it goes to some sort of machine. ...And this one has the [Earth symbol] on it.
Junpei: I think the [Earth symbol] matches a keyhole in a door on the A Deck.
Lotus: Well, if that's the case, we probably don't need the [Earth key] right now.
But we are going to need it later.
Junpei: All right then, [Earth key]... I'll just tuck you away deep in my pocket. Now, as for the other key...
We've got an activation key! (Which has this embossed on the handle, "(.) COM") Anyway, you know what I'm going to do here...
Junpei: What key is this?
Lotus: from the shape of it, I'd say it's not for a door. Probably...some sort of device...Oh!
Junpei: What is it?
Lotus: I wonder... Do you think maybe this is the activation key for that thing?
Junpei: The activation key...?
Lotus: Yes, it has to be! I feel good about this!
Me too, that's why we're heading for the control panel next!
'It was just at that moment that he heard a voice behind him.'
("Remember to drink your Ovaltine...!") (Monster! You just made that reference to "A Christmas Story" because you heard that from an episode of Atop the Fourth Wall!)
'It was Clover.'
Clover: Hey Junpei, do you have a minute?
'He put the puzzle aside for the moment, and walked over to Clover.'
Junpei: What's up...?
Aside from the ceiling, of course.
Clover: Um...well...Never mind.
Junpei: Hey, hold on a minute, what does--
Clover: Sorry. Just...forget about it. It's nothing. Before he could say anything else, she spun around and ran back down the stairs. ...'
Okay...
Junpei: What the hell was that...
Good question there.
'After waiting a few minutes to see if she would return, Junpei sighed, shook his head, and went back to searching.'
As I was saying, back to the control panel! And now to apply key to lock...
Junpei: This key... The shape sure makes it seem like it goes to this machine. All right, I'm turning it on.
"Main Screen turn on... It's you!" ("How are you gentlemen!! All your base are belong to us.") (Really!? Not just another reference, but to an old meme at that!)
Junpei: Okay, the monitor is on now. ...And it's full of letters...
I don't see any letters on the screen, so I guess I'll take your word for it. (Just use your stylus and tap on the thing already!)
Lotus: It's showing some kind of...warning... "Power restored to experimental device. Emergency system will activate in the event of abnormal subject behavior." ...Okaaaay...
(So, let's check on Clover...) Oh! How about that device near Science Boy!?
'This is the monitor. There are a whole lot of cables under this table.'
Well, how about those levers back at the control panel?
'The only thing about the room that's changed is that the lever is down now. Not very impressive.'
(Well, you were close earlier, this time go for that huge machine mounted to the wall.)
Clover: Junpei! This thing in here is on now!
Junpei: Yeah, that's 'cause we activated the power over on this side. Could you, like, play with it a little?
Clover: Okay. Yeah. I'll turn this dial here... *Turn* *Turn* *Turn*
"Tell us the lesson that we should learn..." (Why an Animaniacs reference here!?)
'...'
(Wow, even the game's speechless... *munch* *crunch*)
Clover: Uh, I don't think it's working. Nothing happened.
'Well, maybe she missed something... I should ask her to look around the room again.'
Well let's see... (Now you're randomly tapping the floor.)
Clover: I guess the drian is for water, huh.
(Or... BLOOD! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!)
Clover: Well, there's nothing here.
(Dude, try the wall mounted machine again.)
Lotus: Maybe if you increase the voltage?
Clover: Roger. Will do. Okay, I'm gonna go all the way to max voltage!
Is that going to be a "10" or an "11"? (I hope it's going all the way to eleven!)
Junpei: Ma-Max voltage!? Hey--! Wait, Clover!
Too late.
'Awww shit...'
("Hey! You've been tainting the narrator's vocabulary!") (Are you making fun of my voice?!) (Yes.)
Clover: Wha...what?
(Science Boy's gonna die...!)
Clover: Um... I think...uh...
Oh my gods!
Clover: Omigod!
Yeah, Science Boy's head just burst aflame!
Clover: Th-The mannequin's...head!
'Oh man, that sounds like a fire alarm--'
Actually, that sounds like a Tsunami warning or maybe a siren. An actual fire alarm is much... MUCH... More annoying and loud.
'Gah! What the hell--?! "Fire detected! Fire detected! The emergency system will be activated. Evacuate the room immediately."'
...
'Science Boy's head is on fire.'
Junpei: Science Boy! Noooooooooo!
(What in the world do you think you're doing!?)
Junpei: Oh, the humanity!
("Science Boy" isn't human! It's just a stupid mannequin!)
Lotus: What the hell is "Science Boy"?! Are you...are you talking about the mannequin?!
Junpei: ...Yes...
(Well, maybe dying twice in the previous playthroughs kind of messed with Junpei's head.)
Lotus: Forget about the mannequin! You need to help Clover, now!
(What Lotus said! Get to the door! NOW!) Yikes! No need to scream in my ear!
Junpei: Damn! The gate's still shut!
(For crying out loud! Check that door nearest to the gate!)
Lotus: Junpei! Look at the light!
Junpei: Yes, it's green! The emergency system has activated and disabled the lock! Now, we can save Clover!
Clover: Junpei!
'C'mon kid... Jump! She's safe!'
(Look who's talking, narrator...) Was that supposed to make sense? (No. *whispers* Made my bluff check.) What was that? (Nothing.)
'Oh man, that smoke is some serious business. Time to close this door again, I think.'
Junpei: Clover! Are you okay? Are you hurt?!
Clover: *Cough* *Cough*
'Damn, she's coughing so hard she can't even talk...'
Clover: Ah-Ah-Ah-*Cough*...
Bless you.
Clover: Of course I'm not all right! What the hell took you so long, you big jerk!
(Just Shimohi getting "his" priorities completely and utterly wrong.)
Clover: I was almost dead!
Junpei: ...S-Sorry... I was going as fast as I could...
(After you were done worrying about a lifeless mannequin.)
Lotus: You can do this later. Right now, we need to get the hell out of here. That fire's not going to stay in that room forever!
But first... (Oh no! No-no-no!) (Too late.)
'There's a mannequin on fire on the other side of the window. The skin is already melting and dripping off. I can see some of its metal bones...'
Clover: What're you doing, Junpei! Let's just get out of here!
(Will you stop being weird and listen to Lotus and Clover already!) Okay, okay, to the door out of here!
--------YOU FOUND IT--------
'Junpei, Clover, and Lotus leapt out of the laboratory, slamming the door shut behind them. All 3 collapsed against the wall, breathing heavily. Junpei's heart was pounding in his chest, and his whole body felt weak. He inhaled gulps of clear air, and with each one, he could feel his body begin to calm down.'
Junpei: All right, let's go.
------------------------------
And let us go... To the next post! Next time... (The return of that first mysterious voice...) ...and choosing the next door. (But, for now, we have to balance the jar.)
Monty Python Reference Jar
Akurei: $52
Shimohi: $31
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