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October 19, 9:42 AM
District Court
Defendant Lobby No. 1
Will: ... ... Umm... Mr. Wright?
Phoenix: Yes?
Will: Why do you look so... unhappy?
(Mostly because things don't look good thus far.) But I'm sure true justice will win in the end! (We can only hope so...)
Phoenix: O-oh! Oh, nothing! Eh heh heh. Really, it's nothing.
[sarcasm] Right... [/sarcasm]
Phoenix: Right, Mia? (Uh oh. She looks even unhappier...)
Mia: Phoenix. Your client is now practically a dead man walking... Perhaps that's why I feel particularly close to him.
Mia, that's anything but a good sign...
Phoenix: This is no time for dead-people jokes, please.
(Or, rather, gallows humor! Ba-dun-tiss!) *chuckles* (That was in poor taste! Both of you! I've heard of "black comedy" but this is ridiculous!)
Mia: You know we're going into this trial utterly defenseless. Yet, if Mr. Powers is truly innocent...
We "win"!
Mia: We should be able to find something overlooked in the evidence to prove it.
Speaking of which... (Better check our inventory, or rather the "Court Record".) We have Phoenix's Attorney Badge, Jack's Autopsy Report, a photo that's assumed to be of the defendant, a guidemap to the studio, the "Samurai Spear" prop, an Empty Bottle, the head of that Mr. Monkey mascot character, and that "Path to Glory" Steel Samurai fan-made fan book. (That's all we've got?) That's all we've got. Hopefully the prosecution will end up "giving" us a proverbial arrow or knife.
Phoenix: Something "overlooked"...?
"I'm overlooking..." ("My dead dog Rover...") [simultaneous] "That I've overlooked before!" ("That I've overlooked before!") (*facepalm* ...)
Mia: We have to find something, Phoenix, today. It's that, or lose the trial.
Oh, believe us, we'll win!
Phoenix: (This isn't going to be easy.)
You can say that again...
October 19, 10:00 AM
District Court
Courtroom No. 4
(Bless it Shimohi! You've been playing too much Minecraft!) *The judge bangs his gavel on his desk*
Judge: The court is now in session for the trial of Mr. Will Powers.
Edgeworth: The prosecution is ready, Your Honor.
Phoenix: The defense is ready, Your Honor.
Or rather, as ready as we can be.
Judge: Very well. Mr. Edgeworth, your opening statement, please.
Edgeworth: An unexpected fact has come to the attention of the court. Yesterday, we learned that there were other people present at the studios! Today, I would like to show evidence proving they had nothing to do with the murder.
(*snickers* Oh man is he in for a shock...)
Judge: Very well. You may call your first witness, Mr. Edgeworth.
Phoenix: (I wonder if that producer is going to come out...)
Yes, yes she will... (Eventually.) So will the director, of course, I'll be providing L337-speak translations again. *bows*
Edgeworth: The prosecution calls Mr. Sal Manella to the stand.
Knew it!
Phoenix: (... or that director.)
Edgeworth: Will the witness state his name and profession?
Manella: ...How r00d can j00 get! J00 don't know ME!? I'm the director! I make the Steel Samurai, n00b! ROFL!
"How rude can you get! You don't know ME!? I'm the director! I make the Steel Samurai, idiot! This is making me roll on the floor laughing!"
Edgeworth: ...
Manella: S... Sal Manella. I'm a director. Television.
Judge: Were you at Global Studios on the day of the murder?
Manella: Y-yes, Your Honor.
Judge: Hmm... Very well. Please testify to the court about the events of that day.
Mia: Phoenix. Let's start by picking this testimony apart.
Way ahead of ya!
Mia: If Powers is innocent, you know what that means.
Yeah, "contradictions"!
Mia: Someone in the trailer on that day did it!
(We already know who it is, but let's see if we can prove it!) (!) And, no, it isn't Sal Manella! (Aw man...)
Phoenix: R-right. (She doesn't waste any time putting on the pressure!)
Witness Testimony
-- The Day of the Murder --
Manella: I was at the studios from around 9:00 that morning.
Manella: During the morning, I was doing... umm... an action scene run-through.
Manella: It took a lot more time than I thought it would.
Manella: I hear that everyone else ate lunch in the Employee Area...
Manella: But I had a meeting in the Studio Two trailer, so I ended up skipping lunch.
Manella: We were in the meeting until around 4:00...
Manella: During the meeting, well, I'm pretty sure no one left their chairs.
Manella: That's about it.
Judge: Hmm... The time of Mr. Hammer's death was 2:30 PM. And according to your testimony, you were in a meeting at that time. Mr. Wright, you may begin your cross-examination.
Phoenix: Yes, Your Honor.
Cross Examination
-- The Day of the Murder --
Manella: I was at the studios from around 9:00 that morning.
"Hold it!" There might be some information we can drag out here.
Phoenix: Is that when you always come in to work?
Manella: Oh, oh no. I come in all sorts of hours. It's the "industry" way.
Phoenix: (Yeah, I know all about the freaks in your "industry"...)
Manella: Still, FWIW, I was pretty busy all that day. :(
"Still, for what it's worth, I was pretty busy all that day. *sad face*"
Edgeworth: Tell us more about that.
Manella: During the morning, I was doing... umm... an action scene run-through.
"Hold it!" I sense a bit of hesitation here...
Phoenix: In the Employee Area?
Manella: That's right. It was a fight scene between the Steel Samurai and the Evil Magistrate.
Phoenix: Was anyone else at the run-through?
Manella: Oh, yeah. That security lady was sitting there watching the whole thing. LOL. She was cheering on Hammer, if you can believe it.
(Mr. Hammer had a stalker! Mr. Hammer had a stalker! He had one, I don't! He's already dead! I can sleep in bed!) (Monster! That's utterly sick and twisted!) (I know.)
Phoenix: (She certainly has the lungs for it...) Anyone else?
Manella: Nope, just us four.
Manella: It took a lot more time than I thought it would.
Manella: I hear that everyone else ate lunch in the Employee Area...
Manella: But I had a meeting in the Studio Two trailer, so I ended up skipping lunch.
"Hold it!" That sounds strange... (Regarding a "mess" we found at Studio Two? Yeah...)
Phoenix: So, in the end, you didn't get to eat?
Manella: Yeah. No steak, at least! Can j00 believe it?
"Yeah. No steak, at least! Can you believe it?" (Still translating, huh?)
Phoenix: That must have been tough.
Mia: Phoenix.
Phoenix: Yeah?
Mia: Doesn't something about that seem odd to you?
-Not at all-
-It's a little vague-
-It's contradictory-
(Remember! That "mess" we found was the leftovers of someone's lunch. It's a...) "Contradiction"!
Phoenix: Yeah, it does seem odd, now that you mention it. Mr. Manella!
Manella: H-hmm? W-what do j00 mean? *sweats*
"W-what do you mean?"
Phoenix: When I went to that trailer, I saw something on the table. There were two plates on the table--the same kind of plates as in the Employee Area. Who ate lunch there?
Manella: M-mmpf! No, er, ah, um, eh heh. Good call! *sweats* I, er, I was embarrassed so I didn't mention it... But I did eat, after all.
(Hey! Put that tongue back in your mouth and quit perving out on us!)
Phoenix: A t-bone steak, you mean?
Manella: Yeah, well, I mean the assistant went through all that trouble... I brought it to the trailer thinking I could eat it later.
Niyagi... I don't think you can do anything to stop Manella from pulling the pervert face, no matter how much it disturbs anyone.
Phoenix: (Clearly a man who likes to eat. I'd suspected as much...) So, when exactly did you eat it?
Manella: We took one break during that meeting. I, er, wolfed it down then. *drool*
Yeah... I'm not a fan of beef, so I don't think I can relate.
Phoenix: (A mental image I will carry with me to my grave... Wait a second...! If they took a break in that meeting, that contradicts his testimony! I'll press on that one a bit more...)
Manella: We were in the meeting until around 4:00...
Manella: During the meeting, well, I'm pretty sure no one left their chairs.
A-ha! There's the contradiction! But we don't have any relevant evidence on hand, so... "Hold it!"
Phoenix: You didn't take a single break?
Manella: Er... well... Y-yeah! Not a one! *sweats*
Actually... You did state, and I quote, "We took one break during that meeting." So... (Liar, liar, pants on fire! Hanging on a telephone wire!)
Phoenix: (Hmm... what's he sweating so much about, I wonder? If only I had an idea...)
*sigh* *facepalm* *headdesk*
Phoenix: (Wait a second... Maybe I do have an idea!)
-Press harder-
-Leave him be-
Duh! We press this matter harder!
Phoenix: Wait a second! Mr. Manella, you've just contradicted yourself! Didn't you just tell the court that you ate that t-bone steak during a break?
Yeah, he did. If you don't believe me, just look up.
Manella: Oops! ROFL!
"Oops! I'm rolling on the floor laughing!"
Phoenix: Well?
Manella: Umm...
Judge: Mr. Manella, what's this all about?
Manella: W-well, yeah, I guess we did take a little break.
Mia: Phoenix! Great job! If they took a break, one of them could have gone to the studio during that time!
Phoenix: Your Honor! I call on the witness to testify to the court about this break!
Judge: Very well. Mr. Manella, your testimony, please.
Manella: Urk!
Edgeworth: Heh heh heh...
What's Edgeworth laughing about?
Phoenix: (Uh oh. Edgeworth is laughing...)
Witness Testimony
-- The Break --
Manella: Yeah, FWIW, we took a break... ROFL!
Manella: But it was only 15 minutes! 15! That's only 13 in Base 12!
Manella: Not enough time for someone to, say, commit murder in Studio One! LOL!
Manella: That's only just enough time to eat a t-bone steak, if you ask me! *steams*
Judge: Hmm...
Okay, I'm curious why Mr. Manella went on about number bases...
Judge: I don't think it would even be enough time for that, but that's just me. Very well. You may begin the cross-examination.
Cross Examination
-- The Break --
Manella: Yeah, FWIW, we took a break... ROFL!
"Yeah, for what it's worth, we took a break... I'm rolling on the floor laughing!" Aside from that translation, nothing to do with this statement.
Manella: But it was only 15 minutes! 15! That's only 13 in Base 12!
Like I said, I'm curious about the use of number bases here. "Hold it!"
Phoenix: What were you doing for those 15 minutes?
Manella: Eating my t-bone steak! What else!?
Phoenix: There were two plates on the trailer table...?
Manella: Oh, right. The other one was Diva's... sorry, Dee Vasquez's plate.
Phoenix: (Dee Vasquez... the producer.)
Edgeworth: To eat a t-bone steak in 15 minutes... that's quite a feat.
Manella: Not enough time for someone to, say, commit murder in Studio One! LOL!
That's an oddly specific example! "Hold it!"
Phoenix: Why is that?
Manella: That's only just enough time to eat a t-bone steak, if you ask me! *steams*
(Dude, I think you need to press this statement instead.) Fair enough. "Hold it!"Phoenix: I have to say, you look like a guy who gets through is meals pretty fast.
(Well, he did say he "wolfed it down".) And wolves typically tear chunks out of their food and swallow it whole...
Manella: Well, I was facing a cold, slightly chewy t-bone steak... Even I have to take my time eating that kind of food. LOL
Mia: Well, Phoenix?
Phoenix: That testimony was too short to wring any kind of useful information out of!
Mia: All you have to do is prove that he was able to go to Studio One in that time!
Phoenix: (Oh, great. Is that all...)
Looks like it's back to the first statement...
Manella: Yeah, FWIW, we took a break... ROFL!
Fine, what ever! "Hold it!"
Phoenix: What time exactly did you take this break?
Manella: Hmm... I'd say it was from around 2:30 or so until 2:45.
Let's see here... the autopsy report says the time of death is... 2:30!
Phoenix: (2:30!!!)
You pondering what I'm pondering? (Yeah, but what does that have to do with a corpse's missing eyeball?) (I don't want to know how your train of thought brought you to that.)
Phoneix: (That's the time of death!)
At least Phoenix's got the right idea.
Phoenix: (So he could have gone to Studio One, killed Hammer, and come back...)
*faceplam* (No, like Shimohi said, it's not Sal Manella who did it.)
Phoenix: (I guess it's possible, time-wise...)
Edgeworth: ...
Now we go to press that statement!
Manella: Not enough time for someone to, say, commit murder in Studio One! LOL!
That's still an oddly specific example! "Hold it!"
Phoenix: Why is that?
Edgeworth: "Objection!" Haven't we had enough of this pointless line of questioning? Your Honor! The testimony to this point has made one certain fact painfully clear: The people in the trailer had nothing to do with this murder! It was impossible for any of them to go to Studio One!
(Hey! Do you know why does California have the most lawyers in the country while New Jersey has the most toxic waste dumps? For the answer, see the title of this post.)
Phoenix: What!?
Edgeworth: Something wrong, Mr. Wright?
Ah... Puns are awesome.
Edgeworth: Surely you aren't suggesting one of the people in the trailer went to Studio One!
(Clearly, someone's not asking the right questions here...) Akurei, quit it with the spoilers would ya...
Judge: Hmm... Well, Mr. Wright?
Mia: Phoenix, this is critical! Think about it before you give your answer!
Judge: Do you claim someone from the trailer went to Studio One?
-I claim it, and claim it loud-
-No, it's impossible.-
*thinks about it* Sorry, like Akurei said, the wrong question is being asked here. So...
Phoenix: (I don't want to write off so many possible suspects...)
(While one of them did do it. She didn't go to the studio.) [sarcasm] Great, why don't you go ahead and say the producer did it... [/sarcasm]
Phoenix: (But I can't keep claiming the impossible, either...) I agree that is was impossible for anyone in the trailer to go to the studio in that time.
Edgeworth: Ha hah! I thought you might be thoughtlessly treading on thin ice again!
Nope! we aren't going to allow Phoenix Wright, Ace Attorney... (To look like a complete idiot!) (Wow... The Pansy actually used a backhanded complement.)
Edgeworth: But I see you had at least an inkling of the truth.
Judge: What do you mean, Mr. Edgeworth?
Edgeworth: It's quite simple... True, the break in the trailer meeting came right at the time of death... However! The path from there to the scene of the crime was blocked! The fallen Mrs. Monkey head barred the way!
Uh... Don't you mean "Mr. Monkey"?
Edgeworth: At around 2:15, a strong gust of wind knocked off the studio mascot's head. Ergo! When the people in the trailer took a break at 2:30, the way to the studio was blocked. Blocked... by Mrs. Monkey's severed head!
Phoenix: ...
Dude! The mascot of Global Studios is a dude! (And... You gave that first "dude" a double usage...)
Phoenix: (It's actually "Mr. Monkey," but Edgeworth has a point...)
(Great! Your great gender crusade has infected our lawyer protagonist!) Actually, Phoenix is just correcting a factual error rather than making any sort of statement related to feminism or equal rights for LGBT/queer folk.
Phoenix: (And somehow, I feel no desire to correct him.)
*looks up* ...Niyagi! (What!? That wasn't any more my doing than what happened before!) At least we're in agreement about that. (Huh?)
Edgeworth: I believe we have seen enough evidence. I would like to relieve Mr. Manella from the stand.
And, subsequently, relieve myself from my L337-speak translator duties.
Phoenix: (Wh-what? It's over?)
Not yet! Not on my watch!
Judge: Very well. The court's opinion on this case is as follows: We have found that there were several other people in Studio 2 on the day of the murder. However, it is also clear that none of these people could have gone to Studio One. They therefore have no relation to this case.
(We'll see about that...)
Judge: Furthermore, with regards to the photo of the Steel Samurai... Given the size of the costume, no one other than Mr. Powers could have worn it that day. All that is lacking is decisive evidence that he is the one who did it.
That's because Mr. Powers DIDN'T do it!
Judge: If we had that, I'm afraid I would have to find Mr. Powers guilty.
Edgeworth: Your Honor. The prosecution is pleased to announce that we indeed have decisive evidence: a witness.
Judge: Who is this witness, Mr. Edgeworth?
Edgeworth: My witness saw the very moment when the Steel Samurai skewered the victim!
Huh? Wait! What?
Judge: Order! I will have order!
Sorry, Your Honor...
Judge: I see. The court will take a 10 minute recess, after which we will hear your witness. Court is adjourned for recess!
(!) No, not the type that involves games of tag or soccer; punishment or otherwise. (Although I'd love to see a game of Punishment Soccer!) (*facepalm* Of course you would...)
Cody: You got a problem with that!?
(Hey! The guards should've confiscated that sword before he even stepped foot into the courtroom!)
Edgeworth: Please tell us what you saw that day.
Cody: What, pops? You want me to tell you and gramps with the beard over there?
Edgeworth: Just... Mr. Edgeworth will be fine.
Judge: I prefer "bearded gentleman" myself.
Phoenix: (A very long day...)
Judge: Incidentally,
Yes?
Judge: photographic equipment is strictly forbidden in this courtroom.
(Oh, so you say something about the camera around the brats neck but absolutely NOTHING about the SWORD ON HIS BACK!?) ...That sounds about right.
Edgeworth: M-mpht!
Sounds like Niyagi's not the only one having problems with this. (Got ninety-nine problems but a sword ban ain't one!)
Edgeworth: M-my apologies, Your Honor. He said he wouldn't testify if he couldn't bring it... I'd like special permission, if that's possible.
Well, it could work if all the film inside the camera was taken out beforehand. (...) Oh, right, most cameras are digital now. (Wow... Both you and this game are dated...)
Phoenix: Wait, so you're saying you had to bargain terms with a kid...and you LOST?
That's what sounds like what happened to me.
Cody: Hey! I just got this new camera! Don't really know how to use it all that good yet! But I bring it with me wherever I go!
Kind of like Linus and his blanket? (And the dated references just keep coming...)
Mia: Phoenix. I wonder if he had that camera on the day of the murder... You'd better make a note of it in the Court Record.
'Cody's Camera added to the Court Record.'
'A new digital camera. Cody always carries it, though he's still learning how to use it.'
Well, turns out it was a digital camera after all. In that case, take the batteries out first. (Why?) I think the concern is about not wanting pictures of any of the defendants getting out...or something...
Judge: Very well, Cody. Please testify to the court about what you saw the day of the incident.
Cody: Of course, the Steel Samurai took him down! Pow!
Phoenix: Cody, what you just said seems, well, a little strange. Didn't you say before that you always bring your digital camera wherever you go? You were quite clear about that.
Cody: Huh!?
Phoenix: Cody, you shouldn't lie here. You understand that, right?
Judge: Mr. Wright! A word with you...
Phoenix: (Uh oh... was I putting the pressure on too much?)
(Kind of sounds like it.)
Judge: What is this "digital" camera contraption you're talking about?
Phoenix: It's umm... a digital camera, Your Honor. It's kind of a new sort of camera. (How do I explain that!?)
How about, "A type of camera that stores photographs in the form of strings of data rather than chemically treated plastic briefly exposed to light"?
Judge: I see.
Phoenix: Anyway, Cody... I can't believe you wouldn't bring your camera on a trip to the studios!
(I sense an "objection" from the prosecution soon...)
Phoenix: You did bring it, didn't you?
Cody: Umm...
Edgeworth: "Objection!" Mr. Wright!
(Knew it!) Kind of an early prediction, but close enough for government work.
Edgeworth: How cruel you are, to terrorize a poor child so!
Phoenix: I don't care if he's a child or a prosecuting attorney! No one should lie in court!
And yet, people do that all the time...
Edgeworth: What do you mean "or a prosecuting attorney"!?
Exactly what you think it means.
Phoenix: Well, Cody?
Cody: Wh-what! Yeah, so I had my camera. So what!? You got a problem with that!?
("Stop! It's gavel time!") ...*LOL* I get it, a gavel kind of looks like a hammer! (*facepalm*)
Judge: So, you did have a camera? And did you use this camera?
Cody: W-why would I use it?
[sarcasm] Oh, I don't know, maybe it has something to do with your "Path to Glory" album... [/sarcasm]
Cody: I... I was too busy watching.
Judge: Hmm... Very well. Please testify to the court about what you were so busy watching.
Judge: V-very well. Cody? Could you please tell us about your camera... And about why you didn't take a picture of the fight?
Cody: Umm...
Phoenix: (Welcome to the real world, kid!)
("Welcome to the New Age!") "Radioactive! Radioactive!" (What did I just say about musical numbers!?) Oh, we remember what you said. (We just don't give a...rip.) Thank you.
-Press him hard-
-Let it slide-
We're absolutely not going to let this slide!
Phoenix: (Nah, he definitely would have taken a picture. There's got to be something here I can use!) Cody! Listen up, Cody Hackins. I know exactly what happened that day.
Pretty bold statement, Mr. Wright. (Especially considering that this isn't the final trial segment.)
Phoenix: You took a picture!
Cody: ... Hey!
Phoenix: (Bullseye...?)
Cody: H-how did you know!?
Genre savyness. (The fact that we've already seen this before.)
Phoenix: I see through all your lies Cody Hackins. It's one of my powers!
(The only "power" you have is the "power of attorney".) "Ba-dun-tiss!" (*sigh* Making your own sound effects is annoying.)
Cody: W-wow!
(...I'm more surprised that Cody here actually believed Mr. Wright.)
Phoenix: (This feels great!)
Cody: Y-yeah... Yeah, I took a picture.
Judge: Perhaps you can change your testimony to reflect this, Cody?
It would've been better if you included that detail from the start...
Cody: I took a few shots, but it was too late, so I erased 'em.
"Hold it!" That seems to be a bit of an odd action for such a hardcore Steel Samurai fan such as yourself, Cody. (Unless...!)
Phoenix: You "erased" them?
Cody: Y-yeah!
Phoenix: Why would you erase a picture of your beloved Steel Samurai, victorious?
Cody: Well... y'know.
No, we don't know! Hence why we're asking that question. (Actually, you do, but you'd rather act like you don't because you think it sounds cooler.)
Cody: W-why would I want to keep a picture like that?
Phoenix: (Hmm... he's becoming less and less cooperative. I better find a clear contradiction soon... or some solid evidence. How can I pick holes in such a short testimony?)
Mia: There has to be something.
And we're going to find that "something"... (Or else!) ("Or else..." what?) ...Trust me, you don't want to know.
Mia: Dig up the dirt, Phoenix! Find out what this kid's all about!
Okay, back to that one revised statement...
Cody: I took a few shots, but it was too late, so I erased 'em.
... (And you're digging around in the Court Record again...) Ah-ha! Found it! (Cody's "Path to Glory" photo album.) "Objection!"
Phoenix: Cody!
Cody: Wh-wh-what!? Man, every time you say "Cody" you follow it with something bad.
(I wouldn't blame you.)
Phoenix: I just wanted to thank you for giving me this the other day.
Cody: Huh? O-oh... right.
Phoenix: What was it you told me then?
---Flashback---
Cody: I go to every live performance! I always take a picture when the Steel Samurai lands the final blow! Whizzam! I got 'em all! I never missed one! A perfect collection!
---End Flashback---
Phoenix: Cody. Did you really get a picture of the Steel Samurai standing victorious over his foe? If you did, I find it hard to believe that you would just erase it! Wouldn't you keep it for your album?
Cody: Ah!
Judge: Mr. Wright... what exactly is this album?
Phoenix: It's called "Path to Glory." It's a collection of pictures of the Steel Samurai, all taken by Cody Hackins. He claims it's a perfect collection of every battle the Steel Samurai has won!
Judge: I... I see.
Phoenix: Don't you find this very odd, Your Honor? Among all his pictures of the Steel Samurai, none were taken that day!
(Are you claiming that he should have a picture of an event that hadn't happened at the time!?) (Objection! That statement in the flashback was made after the whole incident occured!)
Judge: Order! Mr. Wright. Have you an explanation? If the Steel Samurai had just defeated his adversary... I certainly would expect to see a picture of it in this album...
Phoenix: Exactly my point, Your Honor! ... ... .........! (No... wait... no way!)
(Oh "yes way"!) (What are you talking about!?) Uh... This is going to be kind of tricky to describe... (What if we got it "backwards" who was "the victor" here.) (What!? Then how can Mr. Powers be standing here today!? Is he a ghost or something?) No, that's not it...
Mia: Phoenix? I think we've finally discovered the truth. And what a truth it is!
Phoenix: M-Mia... are we sure about this?
(Absolutely!) (Okay, I still don't get it.) You'll see...
Phoenix: Did he actually...?
(Yeah, in a way, the Steel Samurai accidentally...himself.) (He "accidentally..." what'ed himself?) Anyway... *Mia nods her head*
Mia: Yes. I'm pretty sure what you're thinking is right. Tell them, Phoenix. Tell them what the truth is.
(And what is it!?) It's that the Steel Samurai is the one who fell down, dead, rather than the "Evil Magistrate"! (Or more like the true killer rather than the Steel Samurai...) (Bu-but that's impossible!)
Judge: Mr. Wright! Please explain to the court what is going on here! Why was there no picture in the album from the day of the murder? Why would the boy have erased the photos he took?
-The photos were blurry-
-He erased them by mistake-
-The Steel Samurai didn't win-
The answer here is obvious. (The Steel Samurai got pwned mother...!) *ji...* (Enough with the stareing! Trucker! Happy now!?) Yes, thank you, Akurei.
Phoenix: I can think of only one reason, your honor. The Steel Samurai didn't win! That's why Cody deleted those photos.
Judge: You mean the Steel Samurai...lost?
(I'm predicting another "objection"...)
Phoenix: Well, Cody? I'm right, aren't I? tell the truth. The bad guy defeated the Steel Samurai!
Cody: N-n-n-no way! No! I-it's impossible! Th-the Steel Samurai never loses! He never loses to anyone! Ever!
Phoenix: Your Honor... The witness has revealed everything with his words. There was a reason why he lied and told us he didn't take a picture. The same reason he erased his precious photos! For Cody, it was inconceivable that the Steel Samurai could be defeated. However, Cody witnessed the impossible!
("Row! Row! Fight the power!") (No no no no! No more singing!) (NEVER!!!) But that "objection" prediction didn't come to pass this time. (Bless it!)
Phoenix: He saw the Steel Samurai lose! Yet to admit what he saw would destroy everything he believed it! That's why he lied and said the Steel Samurai won. He couldn't handle the truth!
(That's one of the most cliched lines I've ever heard!) Mr. Wright said it, not us. Although, in this "case", it is rather fitting... (*facepalm*)
Judge: O-Order! I will have order! W-witness! I mean, Cody! Is this true!? W-what did you see? Tell the court what you saw!
Cody: I...... Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
Phoenix: Cody... That day, you saw the Steel Samurai lose a fight. Right?
Cody: Waaaaaaaaaaaaah! Okay okay! Y-you're right! Th-the Steel Samurai f-fell down... Th-then he didn't m-move... Waaaaaaaaah!
(Wait WHAT! The Monster was RIGHT!?)
Judge: Order! Order! Order!
(What is it?) (Huh?) (What's the Judge's order? A burger and some fries? Or maybe some ramen?) (That was a horrible joke!)
Edgeworth: What kind of stunt are you trying to pull, Wright!?
His "Seeker of the Truth" stunt. (This isn't a FATE game...)
Edgeworth: The Steel Samurai was the murderer, not the victim!
(Are you sure...?!)
Phoenix: Yet according to your witness's testimony, the Steel Samurai was the one who fell!
Judge: Mr. Wright! What's going on?
Phoenix: Apparently, we have all made a serious error.
Edgeworth: An... error? What's this all about!?
-Hammer was the victim-
-Steel Samurai was the victim-
-There was no victim-
(That's obvious.) The victim is... The Steel Samurai! (That... That doesn't make any sense what so ever!)
Phoenix: If you understand what really happened, it's actually quite simple. At the end of the fight, the Steel Samurai fell to the ground, and lay still. In other words, the Steel Samurai was not the killer, he was the victim!
(Yeah, that makes no sense what-so-ever!) Niyagi, I can't believe I'm saying this but... Will Powers is not some kind of Superhero.
Phoenix: Don't you see? Jack Hammer was the Steel Samurai!
(...) (Uh, Shimohi, I think we broke the Pansy...)
Judge: Order! Order! Order! So, the Steel Samurai in this photograph... You're saying the man in this costume was the victim, Mr. Jack Hammer?
(Yeah! Now you're getting it!)
Phoenix: That's what I'm saying, Your Honor. Jack Hammer was present at the action scene run-through that morning. Thus, he obviously knew about Will Power's foot injury.
Judge: B-but wait! Hand't Mr. Hammer gone to Studio One already?
Phoenix: That's what everyone thought! But remember what Ms. Oldbag said in her testimony?
---Flashback---
Oldbag: On the day of the murder, I arrived at the guard station at 1:00 PM. Did I see poor old Hammer? Nope. He'd already gone to the studio before I got back to the guard station.
---End Flashback---
Phoenix: Mr. Jack Hammer left the Employee Area after lunch. However, no one saw him going to Studio One. Nor was there a picture of him. He waited for Mr. Power to take a nap in his dressing room. Then he snuck into the dressing room and stole the Steel Samurai costume.
Judge: ...
Edgeworth: ...
Judge: But why would the victim do such a thing?
Phoenix: I... don't know.
*face fault* (*face fault*) (You do know falling to the floor like that's going to hurt, right?)
Cody: ...I get it!
Really? What is it?
Phoenix: ?
Cody: I thought that the Steel Samurai was moving strange. So it was a different person inside the suit!
Yeah...
Cody: Pops!
Phoenix: Huh, me? What?
Cody: Actually, there was one piece of data I saved.
Phoenix: Data?
And, no, we aren't talking about the Federation's android.
Cody: Yeah, a photo on my digital camera!
Phoenix: ! W-what!?
Edgeworth: Show us, quick!
Cody: No way man, not if you're gonna look at me like that!
Judge: Now!
And make it snappy!
Cody: *sniff* Here... This is it.
Judge: ...Well, looking at this it's still a little hard to say. I'm afraid that it could be anyone in that costume.
It could even be... me! (It isn't.) Yeah, it isn't...
Judge: Your opinion, Mr. Wright?
Phoenix: I agree, Your Honor. This isn't decisive evidence.
Judge: I'm sorry, this doesn't look like it's the proof we need. I'll give it back.
Mia: Wait, Phoenix!
Phoenix: Mia? What?
(So, I'm not the only one who noticed.) Oh, right. The location...
Mia: Look at that photo once more! That's it Phoenix! That photo is all the evidence you need to win this trial!
Phoenix: Wh-what!?
You heard the ghost attorney.
Phoenix: Y-Your Honor! May I see that photo once more please?
Judge: C-certainly. I don't see why not.
Mia: Phoenix! Show him!
(The...) (Nope! You're not going there!) ...For once, I'm going to have to agree with Niyagi. (Aw man...)
Mia: There's a glaring, decisive inconsistency with the facts as we know them in that photo!
Phoenix: (Find the inconsistency in the photo!)
And that's what we're going to do! (And we already know what it is... That sign with the number "2" on it!) "Take that!"
Phoenix: Your Honor! Look at this!
Judge: I see... a gate?
Phoenix: Might I draw your attention to the number on that gate?
Judge: The number? Ah yes. Well, it's hard to see, but it looks like a "2."
Phoenix: Clearly not a "1," Your Honor, correct?
Edgeworth: Aaaaaah!
Phoenix: I believe Mr. Edgeworth sees what I'm getting at.
Edgeworth: B-but... Th-that's impossible!
(I know!) ... *facepalm*
Judge: Hmm? Eh? What's this all about? Please explain so that I might be shocked along with the rest of the court.
Pheonix: I'll use the studio guidemap. The body was found here, in Studio One. However, what do we see in this photo taken at the time of the murder? It does NOT say "1" on that gate in the photo. Your Honor! Here is the true scene of the crime! (Show the judge where the muder took place!)
So, is Mr. Wright aware of our existence? (Not likely.) Oh, well, the location we need is... Studio 2! "Take that!"
Phoenix: Here, at Studio Two.
Judge: I see! That would explain the "2" on the gate in the photo.
Phoenix: Your Honor, I find it very significant that the murder took place in Studio Two!
-The trailer is there-
-The path was blocked-
-No filming is done there-
It's that trailer!
Phoenix: As you may recall, there is a trailer in Studio Two. Now, on that day, a meeting was held in that very trailer. There was a break in the meeting corresponding to the time of death. During that break, Mr. Sal Manella and Ms. Dee Vasquez were outside, eating steak. They were at the scene of the crime!
(Huh?)
Phoenix: The path to the trailer was blocked!
Judge: So we have heard.
Indeed...
Phoenix: The path was blocked at 2:15... In other words, the victim went to Studio Two before that time!
Judge: Yes... yes, I suppose that would be the case.
Phoenix: Remember Mr. Sal Manella's testimony? Allow me to remind the court: He said no one in the trailer was guilty because they could not have gone to Studio One. Yet, in actuality, the reverse was true! Only someone in the trailer could have committed this murder!
(Yeah, now you're getting warmer!)
Phoenix: They were the only ones with access to the scene of the crime: Studio Two!
(But... But... Mr. Powers has to have done it! He has to!) (Nope, you just want to see nerds, otaku and others like and related to that exterminated! And I thought I was the monster here...)
Judge: O-order! Order!
Phoenix: The defense makes the following claims: The scene of the crime was Studio Two!
(Correct.)
Phoenix: The person that the security guard, Ms. Oldbag saw was the victim, Mr. Jack Hammer!
(Also correct.)
Phoenix: Mr. Hammer, for some reason stole a Steel Samurai costume. Then he went to Studio Two!
Edgeworth: "Objection!" This is madness!
(Oh no...) THIS...! (IS...!) [simultaneous] SPARTA! (SPARTA!) [/simultaneous] (Why do you have to make references to stupid memes like that...!?) Because we can.
Edgeworth: Jack Hammer is the victim! The victim!
We know that, Edgeworth...
Edgeworth: Why would he steal a Steel Samurai costume!?
(Blackmail is involved.) (Huh?) (You'll see...)
Edgeworth: Are you suggesting he did so to cover up the detail of his own murder!?
Phoenix: W-well, no, of course not...
Judge: Hmm...
Edgeworth: Or do you have proof!?
(Now that you mention it...) Huh? (You know what I'm talking about.)
Edgeworth: Give me proof that the victim, Jack Hammer, stole the costume!
-I have proof-
-I don't have proof-
Well, if you say so Akurei...
Phoenix: I have proof!
Edgeworth: Y-you do!?
Judge: You do, Mr. Wright?
Phoenix: (Now that they're so surprised suddenly I'm much less confident...)
Aw, come on! Believe in us! (Or rather...believe in yourself already!) (...Monster?)
Phoenix: (I think I'm right, though!)
That's the spirit!
Phoenix: Here's my proof that Jack Hammer stole the costume!
(Shimohi! It's the empty bottle!) Oh, right the bottle of "Sleeping Pills". "Take that!"
Phoenix: This is it.
Judge: An empty... medicine bottle?
Phoenix: I found this on the table in the Employee Area. The same table where Mr. Hammer and Mr. Powers ate. The label reads "sleeping pills."
Judge: "Sleeping pills"...?
Phoenix: The defendant, Mr. Powers, spent that entire afternoon sleeping. He was drugged... by Mr. Hammer!
Judge: Wait a moment...
(Oh my Satan...! Will Powers could've been...) (No! Don't even go there!)
Judge: That bottle does raise some suspicions, yes. But there is no proof that Mr. Hammer used it.
Phoenix: Your Honor, I have an idea.
-Test Power's blood-
-Fingerprint the bottle-
-Examine Hammer's body-
(The answer here's obvious.) Fingerprint the bottle!
Judge: An... idea? Very well, let's hear it.
Phoenix: I want to check this bottle for fingerprints! If my claim is true, Mr. Hammer's fingerprints should show up on this bottle!
Edgeworth: Hmm...
Judge: I suppose you're right. Very well. The court will take possession of the bottle.
'Empty Bottle given to the judge.'
Judge: This court will suspend proceedings on the current trial for today.
Finally...
Judge: Cody Hackin's testimony has revealed new possibilities in this case. In fact, things may have happened very differently then we previously thought. The Steel Samurai seen by Ms. Oldbag may have been the victim, Jack Hammer. The scene of the crime was not Studio One, but Studio Two. And those in the trailer did have time to commit murder.
(It was that "Sal Manela" creep!) *facepalm* No... No it wasn't...
Judge: Mr. Wright?
Phoenix: Yes, Your Honor?
Judge: Your homework is to find the answer to the following question: Why would Mr. Hammer steal the Steel Samurai costume? Also, who killed him, and why? Find the answers for me by tomorrow.
Well, now we know our objectives for the next post.
Phoenix: (That's a lot of homework!)
Still, we're going to school this case! ...Eventually.
Judge: Mr. Edgeworth.
Edgeworth: Mm?
Judge: You will need to reconsider your stance in this case. Above all, you will need to reconsider your suspicion of Mr. Will Powers.
Edgeworth: As you say, Your Honor.
Judge: This trail will be extended until tomorrow. This is the last extension!
(Well now...) (We have our work cut out for us.) Indeed...
Judge: Very well... Court is adjourned!
Phoenix: Whew! That was a close one!
You were almost a Phoenix Sandwich! (*facepalm*)
Mia: We were saved by a hair, but that's all that counts. I thought seriously about going home about three times during the trial.
[sarcasm] Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence... [/sarcasm]
Phoenix: M-me too!
Ah, come on!
Will: Really? You both seemed so... so confident!
Phoenix: Hah! Maybe I should take up a career in acting?
As a matter of fact...
Phoenix: I was ready to pronounce you dead about three times back there.
Mia: Me too!
Will: D-dead!?
Yeah, that's a unanimous vote of no-confidence... *sits in corner of woe*
Mia: Hoh hoh. Of course, we're kidding.
Will: Are you sure?
What Will said.
Phoenix: (I wasn't kidding...)
...damn it! In this universe, even I'm practically a butt monkey!
Phoenix: Now, Mr. Powers. We have to go make our final investigation. But I promise you, we'll find the true killer by tomorrow's trial!
(Shimohi and I already know who did it. The challenge is in finding the evidence to prove it.) (Seriously?) Yeah. (There's a reason Shimohi kept searching that fence near the trailer.)
Will: R-right! Thanks! *sniff*
'To be continued.'
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And... We're going to save here. Next time on the Let's Play of Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney... (We're going to find the evidence to prove what we already know!) (Like I already know that I have to balance the reference jar now.)
Monty Python Reference Jar
Akurei: $53
Shimohi: $31
Phoenix: Why is that?
Edgeworth: "Objection!" Haven't we had enough of this pointless line of questioning? Your Honor! The testimony to this point has made one certain fact painfully clear: The people in the trailer had nothing to do with this murder! It was impossible for any of them to go to Studio One!
(Hey! Do you know why does California have the most lawyers in the country while New Jersey has the most toxic waste dumps? For the answer, see the title of this post.)
Phoenix: What!?
Edgeworth: Something wrong, Mr. Wright?
Ah... Puns are awesome.
Edgeworth: Surely you aren't suggesting one of the people in the trailer went to Studio One!
(Clearly, someone's not asking the right questions here...) Akurei, quit it with the spoilers would ya...
Judge: Hmm... Well, Mr. Wright?
Mia: Phoenix, this is critical! Think about it before you give your answer!
Judge: Do you claim someone from the trailer went to Studio One?
-I claim it, and claim it loud-
-No, it's impossible.-
*thinks about it* Sorry, like Akurei said, the wrong question is being asked here. So...
Phoenix: (I don't want to write off so many possible suspects...)
(While one of them did do it. She didn't go to the studio.) [sarcasm] Great, why don't you go ahead and say the producer did it... [/sarcasm]
Phoenix: (But I can't keep claiming the impossible, either...) I agree that is was impossible for anyone in the trailer to go to the studio in that time.
Edgeworth: Ha hah! I thought you might be thoughtlessly treading on thin ice again!
Nope! we aren't going to allow Phoenix Wright, Ace Attorney... (To look like a complete idiot!) (Wow... The Pansy actually used a backhanded complement.)
Edgeworth: But I see you had at least an inkling of the truth.
Judge: What do you mean, Mr. Edgeworth?
Edgeworth: It's quite simple... True, the break in the trailer meeting came right at the time of death... However! The path from there to the scene of the crime was blocked! The fallen Mrs. Monkey head barred the way!
Uh... Don't you mean "Mr. Monkey"?
Edgeworth: At around 2:15, a strong gust of wind knocked off the studio mascot's head. Ergo! When the people in the trailer took a break at 2:30, the way to the studio was blocked. Blocked... by Mrs. Monkey's severed head!
Phoenix: ...
Dude! The mascot of Global Studios is a dude! (And... You gave that first "dude" a double usage...)
Phoenix: (It's actually "Mr. Monkey," but Edgeworth has a point...)
(Great! Your great gender crusade has infected our lawyer protagonist!) Actually, Phoenix is just correcting a factual error rather than making any sort of statement related to feminism or equal rights for LGBT/queer folk.
Phoenix: (And somehow, I feel no desire to correct him.)
*looks up* ...Niyagi! (What!? That wasn't any more my doing than what happened before!) At least we're in agreement about that. (Huh?)
Edgeworth: I believe we have seen enough evidence. I would like to relieve Mr. Manella from the stand.
And, subsequently, relieve myself from my L337-speak translator duties.
Phoenix: (Wh-what? It's over?)
Not yet! Not on my watch!
Judge: Very well. The court's opinion on this case is as follows: We have found that there were several other people in Studio 2 on the day of the murder. However, it is also clear that none of these people could have gone to Studio One. They therefore have no relation to this case.
(We'll see about that...)
Judge: Furthermore, with regards to the photo of the Steel Samurai... Given the size of the costume, no one other than Mr. Powers could have worn it that day. All that is lacking is decisive evidence that he is the one who did it.
That's because Mr. Powers DIDN'T do it!
Judge: If we had that, I'm afraid I would have to find Mr. Powers guilty.
Edgeworth: Your Honor. The prosecution is pleased to announce that we indeed have decisive evidence: a witness.
Judge: Who is this witness, Mr. Edgeworth?
Edgeworth: My witness saw the very moment when the Steel Samurai skewered the victim!
Huh? Wait! What?
Judge: Order! I will have order!
Sorry, Your Honor...
Judge: I see. The court will take a 10 minute recess, after which we will hear your witness. Court is adjourned for recess!
(!) No, not the type that involves games of tag or soccer; punishment or otherwise. (Although I'd love to see a game of Punishment Soccer!) (*facepalm* Of course you would...)
October 19, 11:04 AM
District Court
Defendant Lobby No. 1
Mia: ...
Phoenix: What do we do know, Mia? If everyone in that trailer has an alibi...
Mia: ...I'm sorry, Phoenix. I guess I was wrong.
Phoenix: M-Mia! Don't tell me you're giving up! If you give up, what hope do I have...?
Mia: ...
I believe in you! (That's because we're guiding him and we...) Mostly. (Know what we're doing.)
Mia: Don't get me wrong. I've never given up on a trial before, not while there was a chance. Only one thing became clear in your cross-examination. The people in the trailer could not have gone to Studio One. I thought there was more to it than that... But I was wrong. That's all there is.
Will: Umm... Er... What's going to happen to me? It kinda seems like everyone in that courtroom thinks I did it... They think I'm a murderer!
I don't think you did it, and neither does Akurei. (That's because we have spoilers on our side.) (Besides, as far as everyone in this "world" is concerned, we don't exist.) ... *sits in corner of woe*
Mia: Don't worry, Mr. Powers. If you are innocent, we will prove it. I guarantee it. Leave it to us, and... be yourself. Be strong. You are the Steel Samurai, hero to children everywhere, after all.
And also the young-at-heart.
Will: I... You... Thanks. *sniff*
Mia: Okay, Phoenix. This one's for the kids! Let's do it!
(Let's do this!) Chums! [simultaneous] Leeroy...! Jenkins! (Leeroy...! Jenkins!) [/simultaneous] (*facepalm*)
Edgeworth: You were present, er, you were at Global Studios on the day of the, er, incident?Phoenix: What do we do know, Mia? If everyone in that trailer has an alibi...
Mia: ...I'm sorry, Phoenix. I guess I was wrong.
Phoenix: M-Mia! Don't tell me you're giving up! If you give up, what hope do I have...?
Mia: ...
I believe in you! (That's because we're guiding him and we...) Mostly. (Know what we're doing.)
Mia: Don't get me wrong. I've never given up on a trial before, not while there was a chance. Only one thing became clear in your cross-examination. The people in the trailer could not have gone to Studio One. I thought there was more to it than that... But I was wrong. That's all there is.
Will: Umm... Er... What's going to happen to me? It kinda seems like everyone in that courtroom thinks I did it... They think I'm a murderer!
I don't think you did it, and neither does Akurei. (That's because we have spoilers on our side.) (Besides, as far as everyone in this "world" is concerned, we don't exist.) ... *sits in corner of woe*
Mia: Don't worry, Mr. Powers. If you are innocent, we will prove it. I guarantee it. Leave it to us, and... be yourself. Be strong. You are the Steel Samurai, hero to children everywhere, after all.
And also the young-at-heart.
Will: I... You... Thanks. *sniff*
Mia: Okay, Phoenix. This one's for the kids! Let's do it!
(Let's do this!) Chums! [simultaneous] Leeroy...! Jenkins! (Leeroy...! Jenkins!) [/simultaneous] (*facepalm*)
October 19, 11:15 AM
District Court
Courtroom No. 4
Judge: Court is back in session for the trial of Mr. Will Powers.
Edgeworth: The prosecution has a concern. As our witness is a grade schooler of tender years, and this is a murder case... We worry that the defense might cause unnecessary trauma with his cruel questioning!
(Obviously, you have no idea about the kind of...) (Hey!) (...kids get themselves involved with now-a-days.) (And that's horrible!) Indeed, "Ten year-olds on Call of Duty multi-player." That is all.
Phoenix: (Nice to see Edgeworth taking the moral high ground...)
(Isn't he the same prosecutor accused of forging evidence?) That's the joke.
Edgeworth: However, we have no choice. The prosecution calls Cody Hackins to the stand.
(Soon...)
Edgeworth: Your Honor. Perhaps you could arrange a box for him to stand on?
Like maybe a soapbox? (Or a breadbox?) (Not funny...) Or a litter box? (Okay, that's enough of that gag.)
Judge: Oh, r-right. Guard, please bring him a box. One of those donut crates should do.
I wonder where the courthouse got a hold of a bunch of donut crates? (*makes squealing noises*) (How dare you disrespect the police!?) (Oh!? "Disrespect" is quite the understatement, Pansy. I say...) "Frak!" (...the police!) (Why me...?) One donut crate later...
Edgeworth: Will the witness state his name and grade in school.
Because we already know his "occupation", student.
Cody: ...
Edgeworth: Witness!
Cody: What!? Just 'cause you're all grown-up don't mean you can push me around!
*facepalm* That should be "...doesn't mean..." "Just because you are all grown-up do not mean you can push me around!" is a significant grammatical error! (That's not the problem here! When on the witness stand, you must first state your name and occupation. Or, in your case, your grade in school. That's what everyone has to do, young or old!) ...Point, Niyagi. *sigh*
Edgeworth: Mrph...
Mia: Cody? Answer his question, okay?
Cody: H-hey, it's you! The nice lady!
Cody: I'm Cody Hackins. I'm in 2nd grade!
Phoenix: (I get the feeling this is going to be a long, long day...)
You said it...
Judge: Mr. Edgeworth. Please remember that you're speaking to a child. Try to be gentle.
(What's good for the goose is good for the gander.)
Edgeworth: M-mrrrrph! Witness! Er, I mean, Cody.
Phoenix: (He's having trouble with this "gentle" thing.)
Cody: You got a problem with that!?
(Hey! The guards should've confiscated that sword before he even stepped foot into the courtroom!)
Edgeworth: Please tell us what you saw that day.
Cody: What, pops? You want me to tell you and gramps with the beard over there?
Edgeworth: Just... Mr. Edgeworth will be fine.
Judge: I prefer "bearded gentleman" myself.
Phoenix: (A very long day...)
Judge: Incidentally,
Yes?
Judge: photographic equipment is strictly forbidden in this courtroom.
(Oh, so you say something about the camera around the brats neck but absolutely NOTHING about the SWORD ON HIS BACK!?) ...That sounds about right.
Edgeworth: M-mpht!
Sounds like Niyagi's not the only one having problems with this. (Got ninety-nine problems but a sword ban ain't one!)
Edgeworth: M-my apologies, Your Honor. He said he wouldn't testify if he couldn't bring it... I'd like special permission, if that's possible.
Well, it could work if all the film inside the camera was taken out beforehand. (...) Oh, right, most cameras are digital now. (Wow... Both you and this game are dated...)
Phoenix: Wait, so you're saying you had to bargain terms with a kid...and you LOST?
That's what sounds like what happened to me.
Cody: Hey! I just got this new camera! Don't really know how to use it all that good yet! But I bring it with me wherever I go!
Kind of like Linus and his blanket? (And the dated references just keep coming...)
Mia: Phoenix. I wonder if he had that camera on the day of the murder... You'd better make a note of it in the Court Record.
'Cody's Camera added to the Court Record.'
'A new digital camera. Cody always carries it, though he's still learning how to use it.'
Well, turns out it was a digital camera after all. In that case, take the batteries out first. (Why?) I think the concern is about not wanting pictures of any of the defendants getting out...or something...
Judge: Very well, Cody. Please testify to the court about what you saw the day of the incident.
Witness Testimony
-- Witness's Account --
Cody: I wanted to see a Steel Samurai rehearsal, just once.
Cody: I found a map on the Internet, and went to the studios that day.
Cody: I went through the woods, off the path, so that old lady wouldn't catch me.
Cody: I was going for the studio.
Cody: I got kinda lost on the way, though. For about 30 minutes.
Cody: When I came out by the studio, there was the Steel Samurai!
Cody: It totally rocked! Right before my eyes, out came the bad guy!
Cody: Of course, the Steel Samurai took him down! Pow!
Cody: If I had my camera with me, that woulda been the time for a shot, I tell you.
Cody: Anyway, I couldn't get into the studio, so I went home.
Judge: Hmm... Very well. The defense may begin its cross-examination. And, be gentle. Remember you're talking to a child.
Cody: ...
Phoenix: (This kid is tougher than most adults we see in here, honestly...)
(Why? 'Cause he won in a negotiation with Miles Edgeworth?) Well, this is set before we ever hear about... Whoops, spoilers. Anyway, we know what to do here...
Cross-Examination
-- Witness's Account --
Cody: I wanted to see a Steel Samurai rehearsal, just once.
"Hold it!" (Let me guess, you're going to press everything.) Exactly.
Phoenix: You really like the Steel Samurai, huh?
Cody: Course I do! I've taped every show!
(Wow, even the fillers...) I'm not sure if that show has filler episodes, but why not?
Cody: And I go to all the live performances!
Phoenix: That's impressive.
What Mr. Wright said.
Phoenix: Have you been to the amusement park?
Duh! (Duh!) (...Whatever.)
Cody: Course! Duh!
Told... (Ya!)
Cody: My Dad always takes me!
Phoenix: (Poor, poor Dad...)
(Indeed...)
Phoenix: You really like the Steel Samurai, huh?
Cody: Course I do! I've taped every show!
(Wow, even the fillers...) I'm not sure if that show has filler episodes, but why not?
Cody: And I go to all the live performances!
Phoenix: That's impressive.
What Mr. Wright said.
Phoenix: Have you been to the amusement park?
Duh! (Duh!) (...Whatever.)
Cody: Course! Duh!
Told... (Ya!)
Cody: My Dad always takes me!
Phoenix: (Poor, poor Dad...)
(Indeed...)
Cody: I found a map on the Internet, and went to the studios that day.
"Hold it!" Where on the Internet? (Probably 4chan.)
Phoenix: Was that day the first time you'd been to the studio?
Cody: Uh, actually I've been a couple of times. I never manage to get there on a rehearsal day! And that security lady's always yelling...
(Really lives up to her name the "Windy Oldbag"...) (Monster!)
Edgeworth: Right, right. Please continue.
Cody: Chill, pops! I'm getting to it! How am I supposed to talk with you cuttin' me off all the time? Geez!
Edgeworth: ...
Phoenix: Was that day the first time you'd been to the studio?
Cody: Uh, actually I've been a couple of times. I never manage to get there on a rehearsal day! And that security lady's always yelling...
(Really lives up to her name the "Windy Oldbag"...) (Monster!)
Edgeworth: Right, right. Please continue.
Cody: Chill, pops! I'm getting to it! How am I supposed to talk with you cuttin' me off all the time? Geez!
Edgeworth: ...
Cody: I went through the woods, off the path, so that old lady wouldn't catch me.
(You know what Shimohi's doing here.) "Hold it!"
Phoenix: "Off the path"...?
Cody: Yeah, you know how the studios are in a valley there? If you go off the path a little, there's woods. That's where I was!
Phoenix: I see.
*snicker* (What?) (Oh, Pansy, Shimohi's just laughing about how that would've been a pun in the original Japanese.) Kind of like "Isn't that right?" in our language. (*facepalm*)
Cody: Anyhow...
Moving on...
Phoenix: "Off the path"...?
Cody: Yeah, you know how the studios are in a valley there? If you go off the path a little, there's woods. That's where I was!
Phoenix: I see.
*snicker* (What?) (Oh, Pansy, Shimohi's just laughing about how that would've been a pun in the original Japanese.) Kind of like "Isn't that right?" in our language. (*facepalm*)
Cody: Anyhow...
Moving on...
Cody: I was going for the studio.
"Hold it!" Which one? There's two of them.
Phoenix: Did nothing unusual happen on your way to the studio?
Cody: "Unusual"?
Phoenix: Did you see this monkey by any chance?
Cody: Oh, you mean Mr. Monkey?
Yeah, Edgy! It's "Mr. Monkey", not "Ms. Monkey"!
Cody: Yeah I saw him, but his head wasn't busted!
Edgeworth: So you went straight to the studio?
Phoenix: Did nothing unusual happen on your way to the studio?
Cody: "Unusual"?
Phoenix: Did you see this monkey by any chance?
Cody: Oh, you mean Mr. Monkey?
Yeah, Edgy! It's "Mr. Monkey", not "Ms. Monkey"!
Cody: Yeah I saw him, but his head wasn't busted!
Edgeworth: So you went straight to the studio?
Cody: I got kinda lost on the way, though. For about 30 minutes.
"Hold it!" You got lost for thirty minutes! I could watch your average anime episode in that time!
Phoenix: You got lost in the woods?
Cody: Yeah. I couldn't figure out which way I was walking. Man, was I relieved when I saw the blue studio doors. But guess what happened next!
("Everybody was kung-fu fighting!") "Those guys were as fast as lightning!" (No, cut that out!)
Phoenix: You got lost in the woods?
Cody: Yeah. I couldn't figure out which way I was walking. Man, was I relieved when I saw the blue studio doors. But guess what happened next!
("Everybody was kung-fu fighting!") "Those guys were as fast as lightning!" (No, cut that out!)
Cody: When I came out by the studio, there was the Steel Samurai!
"Hold it!" Are you sure?
Phoenix: The Steel Samurai?
Cody: Yeah, he was standing by the studio gate. It looked like he was thinking about something before going in. Then he opened up the gate and went inside.
Phoenix: I see. What then?
Phoenix: The Steel Samurai?
Cody: Yeah, he was standing by the studio gate. It looked like he was thinking about something before going in. Then he opened up the gate and went inside.
Phoenix: I see. What then?
Cody: It totally rocked! Right before my eyes, out came the bad guy!
(You mean, "The Evil Magastrate"!? MUHAHAHAHA!) "Hold it!"
Phoenix: What sort of "bad guy" was it?
The Big Bad Evil General. ("The Evil Magastrate" No duh!) (I think Phoenix here has more important things to remember than characters in silly "special effects" shows.)
Cody: A guy. A person. Kinda tall. Skinny.
(Almost describes Shimohi here except one detail is wrong.) (Which one?) Ah... Akurei's probably refering to how I'm below average in the height department...
Phoenix: Are you sure it was a guy?
Cody: ...I dunno. He was kinda far away.
Phoenix: (Huh, he's being awfully vague...)
Interesting...
Mia: ...
Cody: Of course, the Steel Samurai took him down! Pow!
Phoenix: What sort of "bad guy" was it?
The Big Bad Evil General. ("The Evil Magastrate" No duh!) (I think Phoenix here has more important things to remember than characters in silly "special effects" shows.)
Cody: A guy. A person. Kinda tall. Skinny.
(Almost describes Shimohi here except one detail is wrong.) (Which one?) Ah... Akurei's probably refering to how I'm below average in the height department...
Phoenix: Are you sure it was a guy?
Cody: ...I dunno. He was kinda far away.
Phoenix: (Huh, he's being awfully vague...)
Interesting...
Mia: ...
Cody: Of course, the Steel Samurai took him down! Pow!
"Hold it!" Exactly what finishing move are we talking about here? (Objection! That question's irrelevant!) (Hey, the Pansy's starting to have fun with this.)
Phoenix: What happened to the bad guy?
Cody: Huh? Well... Well, he kinda didn't move. Not a bit. Like he was dead. I-I guess he's a real pro! What a great actor!
(Or...It could be that he wasn't acting and was actually killed.) Niyagi! Who's side are you... Oh, right, you're convinced that Will Powers did it...
Phoenix: Y-yes, I suppose he was.
Phoenix: What happened to the bad guy?
Cody: Huh? Well... Well, he kinda didn't move. Not a bit. Like he was dead. I-I guess he's a real pro! What a great actor!
(Or...It could be that he wasn't acting and was actually killed.) Niyagi! Who's side are you... Oh, right, you're convinced that Will Powers did it...
Phoenix: Y-yes, I suppose he was.
Cody: If I had my camera with me, that woulda been the time for a shot, I tell you.
*looks up* Interesting... But still, just to be sure. "Hold it!"
Phoenix: "If" you had your camera? You mean, you weren't carrying your camera then?
Cody: N-no, I wasn't. I-it's not like I have it all the time!
Oh really...?!
Phoenix: (Really...? I guess seeing the killing freaked him out and he went home...)
Mia: Phoenix.
Ah, so, you noticed what I did...
Mia: Remember, he's a child. Use gentle words...but be firm.
Phoenix: (Easy for you to say...)
Phoenix: "If" you had your camera? You mean, you weren't carrying your camera then?
Cody: N-no, I wasn't. I-it's not like I have it all the time!
Oh really...?!
Phoenix: (Really...? I guess seeing the killing freaked him out and he went home...)
Mia: Phoenix.
Ah, so, you noticed what I did...
Mia: Remember, he's a child. Use gentle words...but be firm.
Phoenix: (Easy for you to say...)
Anyway, back to that last statement...
Cody: If I had my camera with me, that woulda been the time for a shot, I tell you.
... (Time to dig around in the Court Record again.) Ah-ha! "Cody's Camera"! "Objection!"Cody: If I had my camera with me, that woulda been the time for a shot, I tell you.
Phoenix: Cody, what you just said seems, well, a little strange. Didn't you say before that you always bring your digital camera wherever you go? You were quite clear about that.
Cody: Huh!?
Phoenix: Cody, you shouldn't lie here. You understand that, right?
Judge: Mr. Wright! A word with you...
Phoenix: (Uh oh... was I putting the pressure on too much?)
(Kind of sounds like it.)
Judge: What is this "digital" camera contraption you're talking about?
Phoenix: It's umm... a digital camera, Your Honor. It's kind of a new sort of camera. (How do I explain that!?)
How about, "A type of camera that stores photographs in the form of strings of data rather than chemically treated plastic briefly exposed to light"?
Judge: I see.
Phoenix: Anyway, Cody... I can't believe you wouldn't bring your camera on a trip to the studios!
(I sense an "objection" from the prosecution soon...)
Phoenix: You did bring it, didn't you?
Cody: Umm...
Edgeworth: "Objection!" Mr. Wright!
(Knew it!) Kind of an early prediction, but close enough for government work.
Edgeworth: How cruel you are, to terrorize a poor child so!
Phoenix: I don't care if he's a child or a prosecuting attorney! No one should lie in court!
And yet, people do that all the time...
Edgeworth: What do you mean "or a prosecuting attorney"!?
Exactly what you think it means.
Phoenix: Well, Cody?
Cody: Wh-what! Yeah, so I had my camera. So what!? You got a problem with that!?
("Stop! It's gavel time!") ...*LOL* I get it, a gavel kind of looks like a hammer! (*facepalm*)
Judge: So, you did have a camera? And did you use this camera?
Cody: W-why would I use it?
[sarcasm] Oh, I don't know, maybe it has something to do with your "Path to Glory" album... [/sarcasm]
Cody: I... I was too busy watching.
Judge: Hmm... Very well. Please testify to the court about what you were so busy watching.
Witness Testimony
-- What I saw --
Cody: Y-yeah, I had my camera with me.
Cody: But I was glued to the action! I couldn't take my eyes off it!
Cody: The Steel Samurai, he goes for the bad guy... wham!
Cody: Then... then the bad guy stopped moving!
Cody: He's so strong! The Steel Samurai rules!
Judge: Hmm... Ah? Is that all? Well, that was brief. Mr. Wright, your cross-examination.
Cross-Examination
-- What I saw --
Cody: Y-yeah, I had my camera with me.
Nothing wrong with that statement, moving on...
Cody: But I was glued to the action! I couldn't take my eyes off it!
Cody: The Steel Samurai, he goes for the bad guy... wham!
Cody: Then... then the bad guy stopped moving!
"Hold it!" When you say "stopped moving" you mean...?
Phoenix: So, why didn't you use it?
Edgeworth: "Objection!" He's getting to that! Relax and listen.
Cody: Umm... I didn't use it 'cause I was too busy watching the real thing!
Cody: But I was glued to the action! I couldn't take my eyes off it!
"Hold it!" Describe the aforementioned "action"!
Phoenix: So you were watching the Steel Samurai. Did you watch the whole fight?
Cody: Y-yeah, of course!
Phoenix: You didn't turn away, not even once?
Cody: N... no!
Phoenix: Okay, than tell us exactly what happened.
Cody: Y-yeah! I'm getting to that!
Cody: The Steel Samurai, he goes for the bad guy... wham!
"Hold it!" Now describe that action.
Phoenix: So the bad guy attacked him first?
Cody: Yeah!
Phoenix: What sort of person was this "bad guy"?
Cody: I told you, a person. He was a person.
So. (There's billions of "people" on this mud ball! Be more specific here!)
Phoenix: How was he dressed?
Cody: ...I kinda don't remember. I was too busy watching the Steel Samurai!
Edgeworth: I see. And what happened next?
Cody: Then... then the bad guy stopped moving!
"Hold it!" That was a rather roundabout "shortcut"... ("The words will make you out and out!") "I spend the day, your way!" (Quit it with the musical numbers already!)
Phoenix: Why?
Cody: Huh? Whaddya mean, "why"?
Phoenix: Why wasn't the bad guy moving?
(Even I thought that was obvious! "He's not pining, he's passed on! This big bad is no more! He has ceased to be! He's expired and gone to meet his maker! This. Is a late. Person! He's a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace, if you humans hadn't embalmed him and all that s*** he would be pushing up the daisies! He's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible! This! Is an EX! HUMAN!") (*headdesk* That's another dollar for the jar...)
Cody: W-well 'cause the Steel Samurai brought him to justice!
Phoenix: And how exactly did he do that?
Cody: H-how did he do it? With a Samurai Kick! And a Samurai Punch! Samurai Chop! ... Samurai Slap! S-something like that.
Phoenix: (He's still being vague about this...)
Cody: What! Don't gimme that look, pops!
Phoenix: (How should I play this?)
-Wait and see what happens-
-Press him harder-
The latter option, obviously!
Phoenix: Cody.
Cody: Wh-what!?
Phoenix: Something's bothering me. Before you said that you "couldn't take your eyes off" the action.
Cody: Y-yeah? So what?
Phoenix: Yet you missed the most important part!
Edgeworth: "Objection!" What is the meaning of this? The witness has stated what he saw quite clearly...
Phoenix: "Objection!" You know as well as I do that he's being vague! Tell me, what kind of a murderer uses a "Samural Slap"!?
(The...) Akurei...! (Fine, the "witch" kind. Happy!?)
Edgeworth: M-mmph!
Phoenix: My point is this: Cody, you may have seen some of the Steel Samurai's fight... But you missed the most important part: the killing blow!
(Indeed!) (You just like seeing blood and gore.) Hence why Akurei likes both Hokuto no Ken and JoJo no Kimyo na Boken. (What?) *sigh* "Fist of the North Star" and "Jojo's Bizarre Adventure"... (You. Are. A. NERD!)
Judge: Order! Order! Mr. Wright! How could this be? Can you explain how he might have missed something so vital?
Phoenix: Uh, well... er, that's the thing...
(He has absolutely no clue.)
Mia: Phoenix! I believe you're on the right track with this! Think: why didn't Cody see the climax of the fight? I know you! You can figure this out!
Judge: Mr. Wright, your answer! We have ascertained that this young boy is a great fan of the Steel Samurai... Why wouldn't he watch the climax of the fight?
-He couldn't watch it-
-He was watching something else-
-Show evidence-
(How about we let the evidence speak for itself. The camera!)
Phoenix: Your Honor, I have evidence.
Judge: "Evidence"...?
Phoenix: Yes, Your Honor. Why did Cody look away from the fight?
Messing around with that camera! "Take that!"
Phoenix: Here's my proof!
Judge: What's that? The camera...?
Phoenix: The witness stated that he recently received this camera.
Judge: Yes, I am aware of that.
Phoenix: He wasn't entirely familiar with its operation.
Judge: I'm aware of that, too. Ah!
Phoenix: Correct! Why would Cody be looking somewhere else at the critical moment? Because he was looking at his camera! He was trying to take a picture!
Cody: Hey!
Phoenix: Bullseye!
Cody: W-what's your problem, pops! You got a thing for picking on little kids!?
(No, I'm this much of a b**** to everyone.) Akurei, knock that off!
Phoenix: (Pressing, not picking...)
Mia: Good job, Phoenix! Cody was lying, clearly. Smart of you to realize there was no way he could just stand there, watching his hero...and not take a picture!
Phoenix: Right! Cody! There was only one reason why you would have looked away from the fight. And that was because you wanted to take a picture. But having just received your camera, you weren't used to using it yet! So, you missed the climax of the fight. Correct?
Cody: ... ... ...Yeah.
Mia: Well, Phoenix. I'll bet you anything he's hiding more than that. Have him testify again!
Phoenix: R-right. (Mia means business!) Your Honor. The defense would like to request that Cody Hackins testify once more.Judge: V-very well. Cody? Could you please tell us about your camera... And about why you didn't take a picture of the fight?
Cody: Umm...
Phoenix: (Welcome to the real world, kid!)
("Welcome to the New Age!") "Radioactive! Radioactive!" (What did I just say about musical numbers!?) Oh, we remember what you said. (We just don't give a...rip.) Thank you.
Witness Testimony
-- No Photo? --
Cody: Yeah, you're right, pops.
Cody: The Steel Samurai had just escaped from the clutches of the villain.
Cody: So I held up my camera to take a picture!
Cody: But the lens wouldn't open in time, so I missed it.
Cody: Th-that's all that happened. Yup.
Judge: Hmm... Anything strange in that testimony, Mr. Wright?
Well, it's Mr. Wright and my job to figure that out.
Phoenix: I'm not sure... But I'd like to proceed with the cross-examination anyway.
Cross-Examination
-- No Photo? --
Cody: Yeah, you're right, pops.
There's just something about a later statement...
Cody: The Steel Samurai had just escaped from the clutches of the villain.
Cody: So I held up my camera to take a picture!
Cody: But the lens wouldn't open in time, so I missed it.
Cody: Th-that's all that happened. Yup.
"Hold it!" (We know that's not all that happened!) (Really!? That's your reasoning?!)
Phoenix: That's all?
Cody: Y-yeah! I told you, I didn't take a picture!
Phoenix: (Hmm... I would have, once I got that lens open... Did he really not take a picture? Not even one?)
-Press him hard-
-Let it slide-
We're absolutely not going to let this slide!
Phoenix: (Nah, he definitely would have taken a picture. There's got to be something here I can use!) Cody! Listen up, Cody Hackins. I know exactly what happened that day.
Pretty bold statement, Mr. Wright. (Especially considering that this isn't the final trial segment.)
Phoenix: You took a picture!
Cody: ... Hey!
Phoenix: (Bullseye...?)
Cody: H-how did you know!?
Genre savyness. (The fact that we've already seen this before.)
Phoenix: I see through all your lies Cody Hackins. It's one of my powers!
(The only "power" you have is the "power of attorney".) "Ba-dun-tiss!" (*sigh* Making your own sound effects is annoying.)
Cody: W-wow!
(...I'm more surprised that Cody here actually believed Mr. Wright.)
Phoenix: (This feels great!)
Cody: Y-yeah... Yeah, I took a picture.
Judge: Perhaps you can change your testimony to reflect this, Cody?
It would've been better if you included that detail from the start...
Cody: I took a few shots, but it was too late, so I erased 'em.
"Hold it!" That seems to be a bit of an odd action for such a hardcore Steel Samurai fan such as yourself, Cody. (Unless...!)
Phoenix: You "erased" them?
Cody: Y-yeah!
Phoenix: Why would you erase a picture of your beloved Steel Samurai, victorious?
Cody: Well... y'know.
No, we don't know! Hence why we're asking that question. (Actually, you do, but you'd rather act like you don't because you think it sounds cooler.)
Cody: W-why would I want to keep a picture like that?
Phoenix: (Hmm... he's becoming less and less cooperative. I better find a clear contradiction soon... or some solid evidence. How can I pick holes in such a short testimony?)
Mia: There has to be something.
And we're going to find that "something"... (Or else!) ("Or else..." what?) ...Trust me, you don't want to know.
Mia: Dig up the dirt, Phoenix! Find out what this kid's all about!
Okay, back to that one revised statement...
Cody: I took a few shots, but it was too late, so I erased 'em.
... (And you're digging around in the Court Record again...) Ah-ha! Found it! (Cody's "Path to Glory" photo album.) "Objection!"
Phoenix: Cody!
Cody: Wh-wh-what!? Man, every time you say "Cody" you follow it with something bad.
(I wouldn't blame you.)
Phoenix: I just wanted to thank you for giving me this the other day.
Cody: Huh? O-oh... right.
Phoenix: What was it you told me then?
---Flashback---
Cody: I go to every live performance! I always take a picture when the Steel Samurai lands the final blow! Whizzam! I got 'em all! I never missed one! A perfect collection!
---End Flashback---
Phoenix: Cody. Did you really get a picture of the Steel Samurai standing victorious over his foe? If you did, I find it hard to believe that you would just erase it! Wouldn't you keep it for your album?
Cody: Ah!
Judge: Mr. Wright... what exactly is this album?
Phoenix: It's called "Path to Glory." It's a collection of pictures of the Steel Samurai, all taken by Cody Hackins. He claims it's a perfect collection of every battle the Steel Samurai has won!
Judge: I... I see.
Phoenix: Don't you find this very odd, Your Honor? Among all his pictures of the Steel Samurai, none were taken that day!
(Are you claiming that he should have a picture of an event that hadn't happened at the time!?) (Objection! That statement in the flashback was made after the whole incident occured!)
Judge: Order! Mr. Wright. Have you an explanation? If the Steel Samurai had just defeated his adversary... I certainly would expect to see a picture of it in this album...
Phoenix: Exactly my point, Your Honor! ... ... .........! (No... wait... no way!)
(Oh "yes way"!) (What are you talking about!?) Uh... This is going to be kind of tricky to describe... (What if we got it "backwards" who was "the victor" here.) (What!? Then how can Mr. Powers be standing here today!? Is he a ghost or something?) No, that's not it...
Mia: Phoenix? I think we've finally discovered the truth. And what a truth it is!
Phoenix: M-Mia... are we sure about this?
(Absolutely!) (Okay, I still don't get it.) You'll see...
Phoenix: Did he actually...?
(Yeah, in a way, the Steel Samurai accidentally...himself.) (He "accidentally..." what'ed himself?) Anyway... *Mia nods her head*
Mia: Yes. I'm pretty sure what you're thinking is right. Tell them, Phoenix. Tell them what the truth is.
(And what is it!?) It's that the Steel Samurai is the one who fell down, dead, rather than the "Evil Magistrate"! (Or more like the true killer rather than the Steel Samurai...) (Bu-but that's impossible!)
Judge: Mr. Wright! Please explain to the court what is going on here! Why was there no picture in the album from the day of the murder? Why would the boy have erased the photos he took?
-The photos were blurry-
-He erased them by mistake-
-The Steel Samurai didn't win-
The answer here is obvious. (The Steel Samurai got pwned mother...!) *ji...* (Enough with the stareing! Trucker! Happy now!?) Yes, thank you, Akurei.
Phoenix: I can think of only one reason, your honor. The Steel Samurai didn't win! That's why Cody deleted those photos.
Judge: You mean the Steel Samurai...lost?
(I'm predicting another "objection"...)
Phoenix: Well, Cody? I'm right, aren't I? tell the truth. The bad guy defeated the Steel Samurai!
Cody: N-n-n-no way! No! I-it's impossible! Th-the Steel Samurai never loses! He never loses to anyone! Ever!
Phoenix: Your Honor... The witness has revealed everything with his words. There was a reason why he lied and told us he didn't take a picture. The same reason he erased his precious photos! For Cody, it was inconceivable that the Steel Samurai could be defeated. However, Cody witnessed the impossible!
("Row! Row! Fight the power!") (No no no no! No more singing!) (NEVER!!!) But that "objection" prediction didn't come to pass this time. (Bless it!)
Phoenix: He saw the Steel Samurai lose! Yet to admit what he saw would destroy everything he believed it! That's why he lied and said the Steel Samurai won. He couldn't handle the truth!
(That's one of the most cliched lines I've ever heard!) Mr. Wright said it, not us. Although, in this "case", it is rather fitting... (*facepalm*)
Judge: O-Order! I will have order! W-witness! I mean, Cody! Is this true!? W-what did you see? Tell the court what you saw!
Cody: I...... Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
Phoenix: Cody... That day, you saw the Steel Samurai lose a fight. Right?
Cody: Waaaaaaaaaaaaah! Okay okay! Y-you're right! Th-the Steel Samurai f-fell down... Th-then he didn't m-move... Waaaaaaaaah!
(Wait WHAT! The Monster was RIGHT!?)
Judge: Order! Order! Order!
(What is it?) (Huh?) (What's the Judge's order? A burger and some fries? Or maybe some ramen?) (That was a horrible joke!)
Edgeworth: What kind of stunt are you trying to pull, Wright!?
His "Seeker of the Truth" stunt. (This isn't a FATE game...)
Edgeworth: The Steel Samurai was the murderer, not the victim!
(Are you sure...?!)
Phoenix: Yet according to your witness's testimony, the Steel Samurai was the one who fell!
Judge: Mr. Wright! What's going on?
Phoenix: Apparently, we have all made a serious error.
Edgeworth: An... error? What's this all about!?
-Hammer was the victim-
-Steel Samurai was the victim-
-There was no victim-
(That's obvious.) The victim is... The Steel Samurai! (That... That doesn't make any sense what so ever!)
Phoenix: If you understand what really happened, it's actually quite simple. At the end of the fight, the Steel Samurai fell to the ground, and lay still. In other words, the Steel Samurai was not the killer, he was the victim!
(Yeah, that makes no sense what-so-ever!) Niyagi, I can't believe I'm saying this but... Will Powers is not some kind of Superhero.
Phoenix: Don't you see? Jack Hammer was the Steel Samurai!
(...) (Uh, Shimohi, I think we broke the Pansy...)
Judge: Order! Order! Order! So, the Steel Samurai in this photograph... You're saying the man in this costume was the victim, Mr. Jack Hammer?
(Yeah! Now you're getting it!)
Phoenix: That's what I'm saying, Your Honor. Jack Hammer was present at the action scene run-through that morning. Thus, he obviously knew about Will Power's foot injury.
Judge: B-but wait! Hand't Mr. Hammer gone to Studio One already?
Phoenix: That's what everyone thought! But remember what Ms. Oldbag said in her testimony?
---Flashback---
Oldbag: On the day of the murder, I arrived at the guard station at 1:00 PM. Did I see poor old Hammer? Nope. He'd already gone to the studio before I got back to the guard station.
---End Flashback---
Phoenix: Mr. Jack Hammer left the Employee Area after lunch. However, no one saw him going to Studio One. Nor was there a picture of him. He waited for Mr. Power to take a nap in his dressing room. Then he snuck into the dressing room and stole the Steel Samurai costume.
Judge: ...
Edgeworth: ...
Judge: But why would the victim do such a thing?
Phoenix: I... don't know.
*face fault* (*face fault*) (You do know falling to the floor like that's going to hurt, right?)
Cody: ...I get it!
Really? What is it?
Phoenix: ?
Cody: I thought that the Steel Samurai was moving strange. So it was a different person inside the suit!
Yeah...
Cody: Pops!
Phoenix: Huh, me? What?
Cody: Actually, there was one piece of data I saved.
Phoenix: Data?
And, no, we aren't talking about the Federation's android.
Cody: Yeah, a photo on my digital camera!
Phoenix: ! W-what!?
Edgeworth: Show us, quick!
Cody: No way man, not if you're gonna look at me like that!
Judge: Now!
And make it snappy!
Cody: *sniff* Here... This is it.
Judge: ...Well, looking at this it's still a little hard to say. I'm afraid that it could be anyone in that costume.
It could even be... me! (It isn't.) Yeah, it isn't...
Judge: Your opinion, Mr. Wright?
Phoenix: I agree, Your Honor. This isn't decisive evidence.
Judge: I'm sorry, this doesn't look like it's the proof we need. I'll give it back.
Mia: Wait, Phoenix!
Phoenix: Mia? What?
(So, I'm not the only one who noticed.) Oh, right. The location...
Mia: Look at that photo once more! That's it Phoenix! That photo is all the evidence you need to win this trial!
Phoenix: Wh-what!?
You heard the ghost attorney.
Phoenix: Y-Your Honor! May I see that photo once more please?
Judge: C-certainly. I don't see why not.
Mia: Phoenix! Show him!
(The...) (Nope! You're not going there!) ...For once, I'm going to have to agree with Niyagi. (Aw man...)
Mia: There's a glaring, decisive inconsistency with the facts as we know them in that photo!
Phoenix: (Find the inconsistency in the photo!)
And that's what we're going to do! (And we already know what it is... That sign with the number "2" on it!) "Take that!"
Phoenix: Your Honor! Look at this!
Judge: I see... a gate?
Phoenix: Might I draw your attention to the number on that gate?
Judge: The number? Ah yes. Well, it's hard to see, but it looks like a "2."
Phoenix: Clearly not a "1," Your Honor, correct?
Edgeworth: Aaaaaah!
Phoenix: I believe Mr. Edgeworth sees what I'm getting at.
Edgeworth: B-but... Th-that's impossible!
(I know!) ... *facepalm*
Judge: Hmm? Eh? What's this all about? Please explain so that I might be shocked along with the rest of the court.
Pheonix: I'll use the studio guidemap. The body was found here, in Studio One. However, what do we see in this photo taken at the time of the murder? It does NOT say "1" on that gate in the photo. Your Honor! Here is the true scene of the crime! (Show the judge where the muder took place!)
So, is Mr. Wright aware of our existence? (Not likely.) Oh, well, the location we need is... Studio 2! "Take that!"
Phoenix: Here, at Studio Two.
Judge: I see! That would explain the "2" on the gate in the photo.
Phoenix: Your Honor, I find it very significant that the murder took place in Studio Two!
-The trailer is there-
-The path was blocked-
-No filming is done there-
It's that trailer!
Phoenix: As you may recall, there is a trailer in Studio Two. Now, on that day, a meeting was held in that very trailer. There was a break in the meeting corresponding to the time of death. During that break, Mr. Sal Manella and Ms. Dee Vasquez were outside, eating steak. They were at the scene of the crime!
(Huh?)
Phoenix: The path to the trailer was blocked!
Judge: So we have heard.
Indeed...
Phoenix: The path was blocked at 2:15... In other words, the victim went to Studio Two before that time!
Judge: Yes... yes, I suppose that would be the case.
Phoenix: Remember Mr. Sal Manella's testimony? Allow me to remind the court: He said no one in the trailer was guilty because they could not have gone to Studio One. Yet, in actuality, the reverse was true! Only someone in the trailer could have committed this murder!
(Yeah, now you're getting warmer!)
Phoenix: They were the only ones with access to the scene of the crime: Studio Two!
(But... But... Mr. Powers has to have done it! He has to!) (Nope, you just want to see nerds, otaku and others like and related to that exterminated! And I thought I was the monster here...)
Judge: O-order! Order!
Phoenix: The defense makes the following claims: The scene of the crime was Studio Two!
(Correct.)
Phoenix: The person that the security guard, Ms. Oldbag saw was the victim, Mr. Jack Hammer!
(Also correct.)
Phoenix: Mr. Hammer, for some reason stole a Steel Samurai costume. Then he went to Studio Two!
Edgeworth: "Objection!" This is madness!
(Oh no...) THIS...! (IS...!) [simultaneous] SPARTA! (SPARTA!) [/simultaneous] (Why do you have to make references to stupid memes like that...!?) Because we can.
Edgeworth: Jack Hammer is the victim! The victim!
We know that, Edgeworth...
Edgeworth: Why would he steal a Steel Samurai costume!?
(Blackmail is involved.) (Huh?) (You'll see...)
Edgeworth: Are you suggesting he did so to cover up the detail of his own murder!?
Phoenix: W-well, no, of course not...
Judge: Hmm...
Edgeworth: Or do you have proof!?
(Now that you mention it...) Huh? (You know what I'm talking about.)
Edgeworth: Give me proof that the victim, Jack Hammer, stole the costume!
-I have proof-
-I don't have proof-
Well, if you say so Akurei...
Phoenix: I have proof!
Edgeworth: Y-you do!?
Judge: You do, Mr. Wright?
Phoenix: (Now that they're so surprised suddenly I'm much less confident...)
Aw, come on! Believe in us! (Or rather...believe in yourself already!) (...Monster?)
Phoenix: (I think I'm right, though!)
That's the spirit!
Phoenix: Here's my proof that Jack Hammer stole the costume!
(Shimohi! It's the empty bottle!) Oh, right the bottle of "Sleeping Pills". "Take that!"
Phoenix: This is it.
Judge: An empty... medicine bottle?
Phoenix: I found this on the table in the Employee Area. The same table where Mr. Hammer and Mr. Powers ate. The label reads "sleeping pills."
Judge: "Sleeping pills"...?
Phoenix: The defendant, Mr. Powers, spent that entire afternoon sleeping. He was drugged... by Mr. Hammer!
Judge: Wait a moment...
(Oh my Satan...! Will Powers could've been...) (No! Don't even go there!)
Judge: That bottle does raise some suspicions, yes. But there is no proof that Mr. Hammer used it.
Phoenix: Your Honor, I have an idea.
-Test Power's blood-
-Fingerprint the bottle-
-Examine Hammer's body-
(The answer here's obvious.) Fingerprint the bottle!
Judge: An... idea? Very well, let's hear it.
Phoenix: I want to check this bottle for fingerprints! If my claim is true, Mr. Hammer's fingerprints should show up on this bottle!
Edgeworth: Hmm...
Judge: I suppose you're right. Very well. The court will take possession of the bottle.
'Empty Bottle given to the judge.'
Judge: This court will suspend proceedings on the current trial for today.
Finally...
Judge: Cody Hackin's testimony has revealed new possibilities in this case. In fact, things may have happened very differently then we previously thought. The Steel Samurai seen by Ms. Oldbag may have been the victim, Jack Hammer. The scene of the crime was not Studio One, but Studio Two. And those in the trailer did have time to commit murder.
(It was that "Sal Manela" creep!) *facepalm* No... No it wasn't...
Judge: Mr. Wright?
Phoenix: Yes, Your Honor?
Judge: Your homework is to find the answer to the following question: Why would Mr. Hammer steal the Steel Samurai costume? Also, who killed him, and why? Find the answers for me by tomorrow.
Well, now we know our objectives for the next post.
Phoenix: (That's a lot of homework!)
Still, we're going to school this case! ...Eventually.
Judge: Mr. Edgeworth.
Edgeworth: Mm?
Judge: You will need to reconsider your stance in this case. Above all, you will need to reconsider your suspicion of Mr. Will Powers.
Edgeworth: As you say, Your Honor.
Judge: This trail will be extended until tomorrow. This is the last extension!
(Well now...) (We have our work cut out for us.) Indeed...
Judge: Very well... Court is adjourned!
October 19, 2:47 PM
District Court
Defendant Lobby No. 1
Phoenix: Whew! That was a close one!
You were almost a Phoenix Sandwich! (*facepalm*)
Mia: We were saved by a hair, but that's all that counts. I thought seriously about going home about three times during the trial.
[sarcasm] Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence... [/sarcasm]
Phoenix: M-me too!
Ah, come on!
Will: Really? You both seemed so... so confident!
Phoenix: Hah! Maybe I should take up a career in acting?
As a matter of fact...
Phoenix: I was ready to pronounce you dead about three times back there.
Mia: Me too!
Will: D-dead!?
Yeah, that's a unanimous vote of no-confidence... *sits in corner of woe*
Mia: Hoh hoh. Of course, we're kidding.
Will: Are you sure?
What Will said.
Phoenix: (I wasn't kidding...)
...damn it! In this universe, even I'm practically a butt monkey!
Phoenix: Now, Mr. Powers. We have to go make our final investigation. But I promise you, we'll find the true killer by tomorrow's trial!
(Shimohi and I already know who did it. The challenge is in finding the evidence to prove it.) (Seriously?) Yeah. (There's a reason Shimohi kept searching that fence near the trailer.)
Will: R-right! Thanks! *sniff*
'To be continued.'
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And... We're going to save here. Next time on the Let's Play of Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney... (We're going to find the evidence to prove what we already know!) (Like I already know that I have to balance the reference jar now.)
Monty Python Reference Jar
Akurei: $53
Shimohi: $31
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