Here's the other half of what was originally going to be the third post. Anyway, from now on, all posts are going to stop after a room is completed, no matter how stupidly long these posts get as a result. (But...) Yes, the last post will be Grandfather Claused in.
Warning!: This is based upon a game that's rated M for Blood, Drug
References, Strong Language, Suggestive (read 'Sexual') themes, and
Violence. If any of these things offend you, don't click on the link.
'They had not expected the doors to yield so easily. Lotus's calm voice broke into their thoughts.'
Lotus: Maybe this is all part of Zero's plan?
(I don't know, maybe you should ask...) No, just, no...
Lotus: I can't say I enjoy being treated like someone's puppet.
'As she headed for Room 93, Lotus continued.'
Lotus:
Well, now we have these 2 rooms. I'm sure there's something in there
that will help us get out of here. Let's find it. Santa and I will
search this room. Junpei and June, search the other one.
Junpei: All right.
June: Okay!
Here... (we...) (...go!)
--------------SEEK A WAY OUT!--------------
I look at the vase in the corner.
June: That vase looks expensive! I wonder how much we could get for it...
(No! That's illegal!) (I don't think Zero's going to care about a missing vase, I sure don't.)
Junpei: Are you going to steal it?!
June: Hehehe...
I check the strange painting near the vase. (You know full well what that is.) It gives us a close up of it. I click on it.
June: This is kind of a weird-looking picture. Do you think it's an abstract painting or something?
So, I'm not the only one to say that kind of thing. ("or something"?) Exactly!
June: It looks kind of like...a demon...with an elephant-like nose...Sucking on a human being's brain...
So, a Baku? (You're hopeless...)
'Where
the hell did that come from? What's her brain made of...Can't say I'd
mind finding out a little more about what goes on in there...'
(Same thing with Shimohi over here.)
I
click on the area near the door, I'm moved closer to the door and click
on it. And we're in a shower. I click on the tile wall.
(I know there's something on that we need to click...)
June: That's the bathroom wall. There are square tiles all over it.
I click on the shower curtain.
June: Jumpy, do you think there might be something on the shower curtain?
Junpei: Hm? Uh...well...maybe...?
June: You wanna try closing it?
(As I recall, there's a hole in it that'll help finding it...)
June: There doesn't seem to be anything here...
Junpei: Yeah, you're right...Let's put it back.
(And you're wrong!) (I'm sure there's something we need to find behind a tile here, the problem is figuring out which one...)
I click on the tile wall again.
'The wall's covered with square tiles. They've all got geometric shapes on them.'
I click on the 'soap tray'.
'There's a little blue platform protruding from the shower wall next to the knobs. It's for putting soap on.'
I was right!
'I used a shower once, so I know.'
I think you get the drill by now.
'It's just a shower head. There's nothing special about it.'
I clicked it again several times, to no avail. I turn right and click on the second set of shower curtains.
Junpei: Shower curtains, huh...
June: Let's try closing it.
Still no holes. (I think we're going to have to find a different set.) Well, I still click on the thing anyway.
'Now I can see the full expanse of the shower curtain, in all its waterproof glory.'
(ALL GLORY TO THE SHOWER CURTAIN!) (Doesn't that stupid meme go in a way that's NOT that?) (It's not stupid it's...ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNO TOAD!) That's how it works!
Junpei: There's nothing...
June: ...suspicious. It's just a normal old shower curtain.
'A narrow shower...And I'm standing in it with June...'
Junpei: ...
I think I can get an idea of what you're thinking... (If you know what I mean, wink-wink, nudge-nudge, say no more, say no more!) (Now it's Monty Python...)
June: ...
'This is awkward. Time to open the curtain!'
Clicked that curtain several times, nothing, so...
Junpei: Now let's check the toilet...
(Are we going to find a turd in there? *munch*) (I don't know what's worse, your potty humor or the fact that you still have those unholy nachos?)
June: There's nothing in there. The tank's empty, too. There isn't even any water in it.
Well that answers Akurei's question, don't know what to say about Niyagi's though. I click on the toilet paper.
June: A collection of full and partially-depleted rolls of toilet paper. Someone was well-prepared...
Junpei: There's nothing too suspicious about it.
I check out the door near the toilet.
Junpei: Uh...yeah. Why don't we go back to the living room?
June: Okay. Let's go back.
This place has a separate living room!? (And...we're back to where we started.) I turn right and then take a look at the 'box' on the table. I got some matches.
June: It's a box of matches. There are matches inside, obviously.
[sarcasm] Thanks for the update... [/sarcasm] (I don't think you need to finish that by now.)
'Junpei looked down blankly at what he was holding, then up a June.'
Junpei: Oh, yeah... How's your fever? You feeling better now?
(And now a reminder of how June was 'burning up'...) *sigh* At least that one can sound like it refers to an event that's more recent.
June: Yes. I'm feeling fine.
'June certainly looked fine.'
(You're going to die!) That's not cool. (But it's true...)
'Junpei held his hand on her forehead for a few seconds...It seemed her fever really had gone down.'
June: Are you...worried about me?
- Yeah, I guess I am. -
- Hey, c'mon, it's not like that. -
Junpei: Hey, c'mon, it's not like that.
'Junpei did his best to act as though he didn't care. His best wasn't very good.'
June: I guess you haven't changed at all, Jumpy.
'She giggled.'
June: By the way...Jumpy...?
Junpei: Hm?
June: How did you end up here?
(You...) Akurei, what did I say about that kind of thing!?
Junpei: What do you mean? I told you earlier, didn't I?
June:
There was a man with a gas mask when you got home at night. You inhaled
some white smoke and passed out. When you woke up, you were on D Deck.
Junpei: Yeah, that's it.
June: But is that really the truth?
(Dropping hints are we?)
Junpei: ...What?!
June: Jumpy, are you hiding something from me?
Junpei: No!
(...U!) Now you're directly quoting the meme.
Junpei: Why would I!?
June:
Well, if you think about it, this is awfully suspicious. I mean, why
would 2 childhood friends bump into each other in a place like this...?
(That just as easily applies to you, sweetheart.) OK, if you make any more references to June's relationship to Zero, I'm throwing your nachos out. (NO! Not my tasty nachos!) That takes care of that problem.
Junpei: Hey, I could ask you the same thing!
(*ji*) (It was Junpei who said it, I just did it early.)
Junpei: Are you hiding something?
(Must...resist...urge to...troll! But I must! My literally, bloody nachos are at stake here! *chew chew*)
June: What would I hide...?
(*munch* *munch* *crunch* *chew* *chew* *swallow*) Eating to avoid succumbing to unfathomable spoilers. (Curses!
Well, those nachos are going to run out sometime...wait, that bucket is
just as full as when you first gathered that unholy salsa dip!) (I activated the unlimited nacho code!)
Junpei: Well, I dunno. Anything. I mean, you're hiding it. How would I know?
June: You mean, like...the number of men I've dated?
Nobody... (...cares...) ...about... (...that.) (Besides, it's how many men you've had sex with that matters. Most men prefer none.) *ji* (*ji*) (What!? That's the moral standard!) Well, it's wrong.
'Junpei's heart stumbled over itself.'
June: Do you want to know?
'He had to admit, he was a little curious.'
June: Don't worry.
'She smiled at him.'
June: Only 18...
'!?'
June: ...Times 0.
Which is...zero. (Hahaha! You've been trolled! You've been trolled you have probably been told...)
June: Yeah... I guess I just haven't met Mr. Right yet...
(Don't reply to this guy, he is just getting a rise out of you, yes it's true...)
'June
looked a little embarrassed, and scratched the back of her head in a
desperate attempt to seem nonchalant. Junpei coughed quietly in much the
same way.'
(You reply and that's his cue, to start trouble on the double...)
June: Anyway, I'm not hiding anything. Just like you, Jumpy. When I woke up, I was on D Deck...
(While he strokes his manly stubble. You've been trolled, you've been trolled...)
Junpei: Well, you do have a point. I mean, why did Zero pick us? We haven't seen each other since elementary school.
(You should probably just fold! When the only winning move is not to play!)
'June nodded, and for a few moments she had the faraway look of someone in deep thought.'
(And yet you keep on trying...) Mindlessly replying... (You've been trolled!) You've been trolled! (Have a nice day!)
June: "Look for what connects the victims. That will lead you to the culprit." Do you remember Seven saying something like that?
(...Shimohi, you do realize 'you' were the one that's been trolled, right?) Yeah, I just like singing that song.
Junpei: Yeah, I do. So?
June: Well, that's what I'm saying. I think this must all have something to do with a classmate of ours...
Junpei: You got any ideas who it might be?
(...) ... (...) Go ahead and eat those disgusting nachos 'till this scene is over. (Yay!)
June: No, nothing...
Junpei: Oh...
Tin-foil hat time!
June: Well, if it had something to do with school, then it could be one of our teachers, or maybe the principal...
Junpei: Or the janitor or the lunch lady?
June: No... I can barely remember any of them...
Junpei: Yeah, I know...
'...
... Junpei went back to searching feeling unpleasant and confused.
Elementary school...Elementary school...Was there anything strange that
had happened in elementary school? As he searched the room, he continued
to wrack his brain.'
I inspect the display case...
Junpei: It's a display case. But there's nothing being displayed. How sad...
June: Looks like the drawers are empty, too.
Now for that couch...
Junpei: Ahhh.
June: Jumpy, what are you doing?! We don't have the time to be relaxing on a sofa.
Behind this non-numbered door is...a bedroom. So of course, first we check the bed.
'It's
a light blue blanket with some designs on it. Someone's made the bed,
or at least never un-made it.There's only bedsheets under the blanket.
Nothing exciting.'
June: Look, there's 2 pillows right next to each other. Guess it's a double...
Junpei: Huh? What's up? You're turning red...
'Oh man... Is her fever back?'
(Dun-dun-dun!) (*ji*) (What!? That had nothing to do with Zero, stop plotting to have my nachos taken away!
Junpei: Hey, are you all right? Do you need to lay down for a minute?
June: I-I'm fine! I think it's still a little early for that...
Junpei: Huh...? Hey, seriously...are you really okay?
June: A bed frame. Now we don't have to worry about falling off. I...toss and turn when I sleep...
'She's blushing again...What the hell is she thinking about?'
(Bow Chicka Wow Wow!) Now let's just check out this bottle near the bed... (If you know what I mean...) (Ah, put a lid on it!) (Steam it up? Good idea!) (*sigh*)
June: It's a bottle with water in it. This is a bedroom...
(That's why I was expecting for there to be lube in there.) Kinky. (Not you too...)
June: They probably have it here it here 'cause your throat always feels dry when you wake up, you know?
Junpei: My throat's dry, but I think that's 'cause I'm a little nervous right now.
June: Well, we did run a lot, so we're kinda sweaty. Jumpy, did you want to take a shower together?
Junpei: Whoa!
And...now you know another reason I wanted to check the shower curtains...
June: *Giggle* Just kidding.
'Too late to take it back...My brain's already working out the picture.'
(If only the Pansy knew...) (Somehow I get the idea that I don't want to know.) Good! Let's keep it that way.
'My throat was dry already... This sure isn't helping.'
Checking the picture on the wall above the bed.
Junpei: This isn't a painting. Is it a...map?
June: It looks like a map of the ship's interior.
Junpei: Oh! This is a great find! I think it'll be really useful...Let's take it with us!
[Insert Map Tutorial here]
(I thought we were done with the stupid tutorials!)
'Junpei took one last look at the map, then folded it up and slid it back into his pocket. June looked up as he closed it.'
June: This ship is bigger than I thought.
Junpei: Yeah, it's about 900 feet long.
(That's what she said!)
June: Must be one of those fancy cruise ships.
(Maybe, maybe not...)
Junpei:
Course, it doesn't really look like a cruise ship. Everything in here
is really retro. Even if it's some sorta style choice, there's just too
much.
The Titanic was about that old...
June: Do you remember what Zero said?
Zero:
On April 14th, 1912...the famous ocean liner Titanic crashed into an
iceberg. After remaining afloat for 2 hours and 40 minutes, it sank
beneath the waters of the North Atlantic.
June: Do you think maybe this boat and the Titanic has something to do with each other?
I believe I said something to that effect in one of the previous two posts.
Junpei: Hmmm... That's a good point. I doubt he would've mentioned it if there wasn't a reason...
'Junpei took a moment to look around the room.'
Junpei: Do you think this boat is...
- A replica of the Titanic? -
- The actual Titanic? -
Well, for shits and giggles...
Junpei: The actual Titanic?
June: The actual...Titanic? You mean it, like, slipped through time and ended up here? Before the ship sunk on April 14, 1912...
Mind...blown...
(That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. That's about as stupid as
some kind of mix of time-travel and telepathy.) (Hahahahahahahahahaha!)
Excuse us, Akurei's indisposed due to a fit of both rolling on the floor
laughing and laughing her ass off.
Junpei: ...
June: ...
Junpei: Huh...? What the hell are you smoking?
(Whatever it is, can I have a hit of it!?)
June: Huh? Did I get it wrong?
'Junpei grinned and shook his head.'
Junpei: No, no, that's not... I mean, come on... "Slipped through time"? Seriously...
(Like a certien someone who slipped through time?) That had better be a reference to the book, Slaughterhouse Five.
Junpei: I was talking about the controversy surrounding the Titanic.
June: Controversy? What do you mean?
I don't remember hearing about that. (Exactly, you forgot.) Once again, it's Tin-foil hat time!
Junpei:
Haven't you heard of it? It's pretty famous, you know. The Titanic has a
sister ship that was essentially identical. It was called the Olympic.
June:
Oh! Yes, I have heard of that! If I remember correctly, the Olympic was
a ship that had a lot of problems. And the company that owned it didn't
know how to get rid of it, right? So they made the Olympic up to look
just like the brand-new Titanic. ...And then, they sunk it, on purpose.
Junpei: That's right. They also took out a huge insurance policy on it, before it set sail.
June: That would mean that the real Titanic never sank.
Junpei: Yeah. The ships got swapped. The real Titanic was renamed the Olympic in secret, and was used as a passenger ship for more than 20 years.
Well, there's a reason it had to be secret. (So that the con isn't found out?) Well, that too but, I was refering to the fact that renaming ships is bad luck. (Of course...)
June: Hey... wait a minute. Wouldn't that mean it retired in 1935?
Junpei: Huh? Well yeah, I guess sometime around then, yeah.
June: Well...what happened to it after that?
Junpei: I heard it was dismantled.
June: Dismantled...
Taken apart, sold for scraps, recycled, need I say more?
June:
Then it doesn't matter, does it? Whichever boat the real Titanic was,it
doesn't exist any more...It was either retired and dismantled, or sunk
in the Atlantic by the [curse]. But then that would mean that this ship
is--
Junpei: Wait! What did you just say!?
I bet one Internet that she doesn't mention the curse at first! (Accepted!)
June: ...Huh?
Junpei: Sank in the Atlantic because of what?
June: The...curse...
(OK, who owes who an Internet?) Doesn't really matter. (In other words, even you can't figure it out.)
Junpei: What do you mean, a curse?
June: A curse is a curse. This one is the curse of the Egyptian mummy.
'Junpei couldn't understand how June had maintained a straight face to say that.'
June: Supposedly the Titanic carried the mummy of the Priestess of Amon-Ra...Which was stolen from a pyramid.
First
of all, Amon-Ra is the name of an Egyptian God. Second of all, I think
it's just the Pharaohs (...and maybe their family members.) that are
buried in/under pyramids. Last but not least, even if priestesses are
buried like Pharaohs, depending on when they where buried; it could be
more likely for them to come from the Valley of the Kings or something
like that.
June: And they say that the mummy had a
history...Everyone involved with it died mysterious deaths...Come on,
I'm sure you've heard of it before..."Those who open the coffin will be
forever cursed"...Haven't you ever heard that one?
They caught
ancient diseases, like from old mold and ancient bacteria and/or
viruses, and died from that. Although that could be considered a curse from a certain point of view.
Junpei: So you're saying the Titanic sunk because of that curse...?
I can see how that could work, someone on the ship caught one of those diseases... (Like the lookout.)
And even if he didn't catch it directly, it could've been passed to him
by someone else. Said illness distracted him and then...the rest is
history. (So it's still Tin-foil Hat Time?)
June: That's right!
'June's eyes had lit up with excitement, like a child with a new toy.'
Did I already mention that I like her? A lot! (Yes, and you still can't marry her!)
Junpei: Hmph. That's stupid. I don't buy it.
(Finally! Someone who agrees with me!) Turnabout is fair play, you can't marry Junpei Niyagi.
June: It's true!
Junpei: How can you be so sure...?
June: That mummy wasn't just a normal mummy.
(In what way?)
June: It was really mysterious...totally unbelievable...
Junpei: What is so unbelievable about it?
What... (...he...) ...said!
June: Well, supposedly, she was really pretty.
Junpei: Pretty?
As, in life? Or, as in "oddly well preserved"?
June: Yes.
Junpei: But...she was a mummy.
June: That's right. She wasn't all shriveled up or rotten or anything. She looked just like she was alive.
Okay...so...oddly well preserved. Got it! (Wait!
Maybe that wasn't an actual mummy, but some lady who tried to stow
aboard the ship by faking death, but the chemicals drove her insane...)
Junpei:
Ohhh. I get it. It's that thing... I don't remember the name...Where
your body turns into some kind of wax? If a dead body is put in the
right sort of environment...The fat in it turns into something kinda
like candle wax, right? And--
June: Yes, saponification. But that's not what it was.
Junpei: Huh?
June: That's not it. She wasn't wax.
(So the axe crazy theory still stands?)
Junpei: Then what was it?
June: They say...that she was frozen.
Junpei: What...? Frozen?
June: That's right. The whole body was frozen solid...You know how a human body is more than 60 percent water?
(And that's why Bloodbending works.)
June:
Well, all of that water was frozen. The story says that from the time
of its discovery, all the way through to when it got put on the
Titanic...And even though it was carried through the desert...Her body
never melted.
(Ah, so how about we mix that with your disease theory...is there a kind of ice that doesn't melt at the usual temperature.) That's a reference to the novel Cat's Cradle...right? (So...the Titanic sank because it was infected with Ice-9!) Then why are all the things not frozen to death? (...Good question.)
'June
and Junpei talked a little more, and then went back to their
investigation. But even as they did, his mind went back to what she'd
told him. Ice that wouldn't melt, even in the desert...Could such a
thing really exist? No, even if it did, it wouldn't really be "ice"
anymore, would it? The more he thought about it, the more his head hurt.
Like he'd eaten his ice cream too fast...'
That's strange. (Both of our heads are fine after thinking about it.) (That's
because you're a demon, Monster! Shimohi, I'm not so sure about...You
have gotten ice cream headaches from drinking cold milk before.)
June: It's light.
Junpei: Even if it's heavy?
([sarcasm] Har-har-har, very funny. [/sarcasm] Not!)
June: That's light!
June: A wooden cupboard. There are cups inside, surprising no one.
I
turn to the right to see...a desk, a vanity, well it's something at
least. I open the drawer in the...whatever-it-is, to find...a dresser
key.
June: A key...Do you think it's the key to the dresser?
(Which we haven't seen yet.) (Sequence breaking FTW!)
'It's a key we found in the dresser. Maybe I can use it on another, similar dresser?'
June: This is the mirror for the dresser.
'...And now she's playing with her hair. Does she even realize she's doing that?'
Junpei: Hey. We don't have time for that. C'mon, it's not like there's anyone here you need to impress.
June: Yes there is.
Junpei: Who...?
June: ...
Junpei: What? Why are you so quiet all of a sudden?
June: Ugh! Forget it, Jumpy!
As for who that is, Junpei, go look in that mirror yourself. (Wow, you know the signs are obvious if even Shimohi can spot them.)
'The chair that goes with the dresser. There's nothing particularly interesting about it.'
(Quit wasting time and get to the other room already!) Well let's see what happens...
June: Jumpy, where are you going?
Junpei: Um, I was thinking of going over to Lotus's room...
That could be taken in a very wrong way.
June: Why...?
Junpei: What do you mean "why"? I'm just gonna go check up on them. Is there something wrong with that?
June: Well, no... Come back soon!
Junpei: Sure thing. I'll leave the rest to you.
June: Sure. Leave it to me.
'All right, off to the other room...'
Now to repeat all the checks I did in the other room.
'Looks like a valuable vase. Empty though.'
That suggests that there should be something in the other vase...
'There seems to be a room on the [left side of the vase].
...I'll be right back.
Santa: What's up? You're going back already?
Junpei: Well, I can't just leave June there by herself.
Santa: Hmph. What, you think you're her knight or her protector or something? You're creepin' me out.
Junpei: Whatever, man. I'm going.
I check the vase in the room with June again, but it just results in a similar text but with left replaced with right. No need to repeat it here. Back to the room with Lotus and Santa...
(And this time no room switching based on hare-brained theories!)
I check out this rooms bathroom and click on the tile wall.
Lotus: This is the bathroom wall. The whole wall is covered in these square tiles.
I try to find the shower curtain but...
Junpei: This room doesn't have a shower curtain.
Santa: This room?
Junpei: Well, um... There were shower curtains... In the bathroom that June was checking out.
Santa: But you're saying this bathroom doesn't have any.
Junpei: Yeah, that's right.
Santa: Hmm... There's probably a reason why.
(I think I know why...) Well, I'm looking...
Santa: Is there anything in the toilet? Guess not. The tank's empty too.
Dang it! While I'm at it...
Lotus: Some toilet paper. We've got 2 rolls, I guess.
Okay, back to the living room...and I see a candle on the table. Now let's see, apply matches to candle...
Lotus: A candle with a candle stick. This might come in handy...
We do in fact literally 'Take Candle'...
Lotus: It's a candle, Junpei. It's on an iron candlestick.
Santa: That's a pretty big candle.
... (You! Brain out of gutter! Now!)
Santa: If we light it, it'll probably get really bright.
Yeah, that's what I was trying to do when I ended up 'picking it up'. Let's see...combine matches with candle and we get...
Junpei: I know. If I use these matches to light the candle...
([sarcasm] You got a lit candle. Hurray [/sarcasm].)
Santa: Well, this is a display case. Check it out, these plates and shit look really expensive. You wanna take a look?
I take a closer look at the display case in this room and... (Hey! That square thing over there looks like a part from a picture like that one in the other room!) Well, let's see...
Junpei: That's a pretty weird-looking design.
Lotus: It looks like a Holstein pattern.
So...cow print? (Note to the readers, this was definatly after Shimohi watched the second episode of Silver Spoon) I try to open the door to the display case...
Santa: Shit! It's not opening... All right, you grab that side of the table and I'll get the other... Let's smash this bitch open!
Lotus: I don't think that's going to work. That looks like tempered glass. I don't think throwing a table at it is going to break it.
I try using the key on the lock.
Junpei: Damn, this key doesn't work!
Santa: Well, that means there's gotta be another one somewhere around here. Otherwise we aren't gonna be able to open this thing.
I switch held items from the dresser key, which I will likely use on the near identical dresser I can see in the doorway, to the lit candle.
Junpei: Awesome. With the light from the candle, maybe we can take a look around over there. But...it gets so hot when I hold it...I wanna put it down...
Lotus: Well, why don't you set it on top of the dresser? It's flat there. At least it won't fall over.
Junpei: Oh, yeah... Good idea.
And...the candle is placed.
Santa: Hey. It got pretty bright.
Lotus: Now we can look around a little.
Since we're in front it already...
'The dresser drawer. It's locked.'
But not for long!
'Let's see if this...yes!'
Junpei: Yes! It worked!
And inside is...another cow print square. (It's a puzzle piece and you know it.) 'Aqurred plate'.
Lotus: That's a strange design... Is it ceramic? It doesn't look like there are any puzzles in it...
Back to the drawer.
'There was a tile inside this drawer. Nothing else besides the tile, though.'
And now the...
Lotus: This is the mirror for the dresser.
Santa: Damn straight. Nothin' weird about it, though.
Lotus: It's a chair for the dresser.
I turn to the right and check out the bed here to find... (A shower curtain?) ([sarcasm] I wonder where that goes... [/sarcasm]) Anyway, it's aquirred.
Santa: A curtain, huh. Well, it's got all these metal rings, probably so you could hang it from something, you know?
Lotus: Yes, but it doesn't look like a normal curtain. The way it feels... I think it's probably waterproof.
(That's because it's a...)
Lotus: Which would make this a shower curtain.
(...thank you. Now I know you aren't completely stupid humans. *munch* You make better nacho dip anyway.)
Santa: A shower curtain, huh...
Lotus: 2 pillows in a pile...oh.
Santa: ...
Junpei: ...
Lotus: A pile 'o pillows...
Santa: Is that supposed to be some kinda joke?!
Lotus: H-Hey, calm down...
I check the blanket... (Which ends up clicking the whole bed.)
'Anything under the blanket...? Nothing suspicious here.'
As we back away from the bed...
Junpei: Huh? Hey, what the hell?! It just got dark all of a sudden...
(That's because the candle burned out, dumb ass!)
Lotus: Maybe the candle got blown out? We should go see.
We go check out the candlestick as Lotus suggested and...
'There's a candlestick covered in melted wax on top of the dresser.'
Junpei: Hey... What's this... The top of the candlestick looks kinda weird...
Lotus: You're right. It's all bumpy.
(It burned out you idiots!) And we've got a 'candlestick key'. (So maybe that goes to the display case?) Weird, though ingenious, place to hide a key.
Lotus: The part of the candlestick where the candle goes looks like a key.
Santa: A key, huh... I think I ran into a lock I couldn't open earlier...
I think that line was there just in case the player didn't think of checking out the display case like we did. Speaking of which...
'Let's see if this candlestick key will do anything...'
Junpei: Yes! It opened!
Santa: All right, pull that shit open!
I pull open the display case door and take the panel...I mean 'plate'.
Lotus: Hey, don't you think the pattern on that tile looks like something?
Santa: Yeah... I think I saw it somewhere...
I exit the item menu and...
Santa: Hey, Junpei, you got a minute? Santa had shown up out of nowhere, and gave Junpei no small start.
Hello! He said something to us just a few seconds ago!
Santa: Here, take this.
'Santa pulled something out of his pocket. It looked like a bookmark. It had a [4-leaf clover] in it.'
(That looks plot significant...)
Junpei: What is this...?
Santa: I found it in-between some of the cushions on the sofa. Pretty sure it ain't gonna be any help to us, but I figured we might as well hang onto it anyway.
So, why are you trying to give it to me?
Junpei: Then why don't you hold onto it?
'Santa gave him a wry smile.'
Santa: You know what I hate most in the world? I got 4 things: Hope, Faith, Love, and Luck.
And...there's really creepy music here. Are you sure you're not actually Black Pete? (Or Pitch?)
Junpei: "Hope", "Faith", "Love", and "Luck"...?
Santa: Damn straight.
Junpei: And you...hate these things?
Santa: Yeah, you got a problem with that?
Junpei: Uh, not really, but...
'Junpei tried to figure out how best to phrase what he wanted to say.'
It just doesn't make much sense.
Junpei: What does a bookmark have to do with any of that?
Not what I was going at, but even I can see how that bookmark can be connected to one of those four things. (For anyone as stupid as Junpei out there. Four-leaf clover = good luck.)
'Santa scratched the back of his ear, and looked awkward.'
Well, see, each leaf on the 4-leaf clover has a meaning to it, okay? And that meaning is pretty much those 4 words. It's like...a flower language. Well, I guess it's not a flower is it? So a leaf language, I guess. Yeah, you could call 'em leaf words.
Well, according to Wikipedia, the actual clover flower... (Depending if that flower is red or white) ...can mean "Industry" or "I promise". (By the way, Shimohi's favorite flower means "Mystery, attaining the impossible, and love at first sight.")
'Junpei looked at the bookmark. Hope, Faith, Love, and Luck...'
Santa: So...yeah. I want you to take it, okay? Just touchin' it gives me the creeps.
Just like the taste of mint burns my mouth? (Are you sure you're not some kind of fairy or elf?) (Well, Shimohi 'does' like berries and milk. Among other things...) Sometimes I wonder that myself...
Santa: Take the damn thing, all right!?
'Santa pretended to shiver with disgust and shoved the bookmark into Junpei's confused hands. Junpei...'
<<What do you want to do?>>
-Take it.-
-Don't take it.-
Junpei: Thanks, but no thanks.
Well, by insulting the spirit of the clover, this bookmark could be cursed. (For crying out loud! That was the absolute...) (When is it going to be time to take off the tin-foil hats!?)
Junpei: It's kinda weird to be getting presents from another dude, you know?
(How's that for ship sinking!) I didn't think I'd hear something like that from you, especially considering that we're on one! (Well, now we know where Junpei is officaly on the Kinsey Scale...0.) Canon doesn't stop shippers...
'Santa's eyebrows went up. Apparently, he hadn't thought of that.'
Santa: Well...hm. I guess you do have a point. I won't force it on ya...Sure you don't want it?
-I don't want it.-
-Actually, I'll take it.-
(See! Even the game says it's fucking import...)
Junpei: Yeah, I don't want it. Why don't you give it to Lotus?
(...ant. What the hell, dude!?) *Sigh* I didn't want to have to mention it here but...I have a plan. (Meta-narrative?) Meta-narrative. (Okie-dokie-Loki, if you say so.)
Santa: Ahh. Good idea. Will do.
'Santa turned and headed off to the other room.'
You mean the one with June?
Santa: Hey, you old bag! I just found the perfect thing for a woman in her 40s!
Hey Santa! Cake is delishious! (So, you're a cake eater? I see what you did there.)
'He walked into the next room, waving the bookmark....' So is she still in the dark bedroom, or the bathroom, or is she in some space-warping way in the same room with June?
'Junpei turned back to his work...And heard a faint sound from the other room... The sound of bones breaking.' (And now you've royaly screwed shit up.)
Junpei: ...I'm just going to pretend I didn't hear that...
'Junpei returned to his search with renewed vigor.' Is that supposed to be schadenfreude or something? (Well, this won't be the first time the English language borrowed words from other languages. At least this one would be useful.) Well, maybe now I can hang up that shower curtain in the bathroom...
'There's a curtain rod running along the ceiling. Let's put that shower curtain on those hooks.'
Junpei: Let's try spreading the curtains...
'There's a hole in the curtain. If I look at it from a ways back...I can see a single tile.'
It's a white tile with green vertical lines between a white tile with purple vertical lines and a purple tile with a white square in the middle in the upper-right hand corner of the wall. (Ah, so that's what you were looking for.)
'All right, from here I can see what tile it is...Looks like it's...[5th from the top and 3rd from the right].' Click on the curtain because I...
'Might as well put it back. Alright looking through this hole I can see...A white tile, [5th from the top and 3rd from the right]. Let's have a closer look, shall we? ...Hm. Nothing strange here...Nope. The thing's not budging.'
(Now can we go back to the other room!?)
Junpei: Hmm... Well, than that means...
Too the other room! Away!
Lotus: Junpei...If you miss her so much, you don't have to keep coming back here.
Junpei: Psssh. No, that's not what this is. I'm just being, like, a bridge between the 2 rooms...
Lotus: Uh huh. You just keep telling yourself that. Now get out of here and go help June.
Let's see *counting from upper right hand corner, going left* 1...2...3...4...5, then 1...2...3. Nope, that's not the right tile. *Same thing but the other way around*.
Junpei: Here it is!
'...Yes, this one's loose! I think I can get under this with my nails, and...yes!' (Remember back in the room with Santa and Lotus how there was a painting above the vase like in the other room, but only 1/4 of it is there? (No, that was never mentioned.) (Well that's because we didn't have all the pieces at the time, and now we do. So, shut up!) Well, I click on that incomplete frame.
'There's a tile in the frame. So I guess I'm supposed to put tiles in the empty spaces...'
Junpei: All right! I'm gonna give it a shot!
([sarcasm] Oh great, it's one of those puzzles where you slide and rotate the pieces and hope you get to see the actual picture. [/sarcasm]) Let's see...switch the bottom-right corner to the top and then the top-right corner to the left and rotate that once...twice, yes, two times. Let's see, switch the remaining tiles on the right side. And rotate both of them till it makes sense...oops I got them switched the wrong way, they just needed to be rotated.
Junpei: Yes! I did it!
'There. Picture, complete! Aaaand there goes the frame.'
Lotus: Wh-What's this?
Santa: Wadda you mean "What's this"? Pretty obvious, isn't it? It's a hole in the wall.
Yes, but what's in said hole in the wall?
Santa: Like a hidden safe or something, you know? Anyway, let's take a look. I think there's something inside.
We've got the Mars key!
Santa: Whoa! This is one of those Mars symbols!
Lotus: The door at the end of the hallway! It has the same symbol engraved on the keyhole!
Santa: Then...that's gotta mean...
Lotus: Yes! We can use this key to get though that door!
I once again exit the item menu to trigger a cut scene.
'Junpei messed around a bit with the key he had, and looked blankly at the picture that slid down.'
... (Shimohi, your brain goes into the gutter way too easily.)
Santa: What's the deal with this picture anyway...
'Santa had only been mumbling to himself, but it drew Lotus's attention. She looked at the picture, and paused.'
Lotus: I...I think I've seen this picture before.
(Me too, It's just that Shimohi's going to play dumb here for the plots sake.)
Junpei: Where?
Lotus: In a book. There's a British biochemist named [Sheldrake]. He has a rather interesting theory. I saw this picture in his book.
Junpei: What's this interesting theory?
Lotus: [Morphogenetic field], which relies on the thoery of [morphic resonance]...
Santa: Man, I can't deal with this. Just listening to you talk about it is giving me a headache.
'Santa put his hands on his head, as though he were in great pain.'
('Painful' memories?) (That's a horrible, horrible pun!)
'Lotus merely arched an eyebrow in his direction and continued.'
Lotus: It's not a difficult concept to grasp.
Or...maybe it's just making his brain hurt. (In a way, it is.)
Lotus: In essence, he states that the "shapes of living organisms and their behavioral patterns are transmitted through a field not visible to the eye"...
Kind of like the "Collective Unconscious" or something?
Santa: Uh, what part of that isn't difficult, exactly?
'Lotus did not look pleased.'
Lotus: All right, how about this...Theory of the Telepathic Mechanism.
Junpei: Telepathy?
Lotus: Yes, telepathy. Well, perhaps not exactly telepathy, but...It is close enough, for a simple approximation.
'Santa suddenly burst into laughter.'
Santa: HAHAHAAHA! Are you serious!? Telepathy? Who do you think we are? Kids from the 70s? I can't believe someone would actually do serious research on something like that. (And yet...) Dude, you've been doing this several times. (It's for a joke.) That counts as a spoiler, so stop that!
Lotus: Yes, I agree.
'Lotus's response was surprisingly curt. Junpei had expected at least some conflict.'
Lotus: I read the book, but I can hardly say I understood it. I'm in no position to defend or condemn anything it said. It was probably just someone latching on to a statistical out-lier from some study and turning it into a ridiculous theory. There's no scientific merit to any of it, I'm sure. But even so... I...
Junpei: ...
Santa: ...
(And...what does that have to do with anything?)
Lotus: Anyway, I saw a picture like that one in his book.
'Lotus indicated the picture they'd all been looking at. After a moment she walked up to the strange picture, examined it, and then spoke.'
Lotus: Hey...What do you think this picture looks like?
'Santa answered first.'
Santa: Wadda ya mean? Isn't it just, like...abstract, or something like that? It's just black and white scribbles. There's no meaning there. That's it.
Lotus: What about you, Junpei? Does it look like anything to you?
Junpei: Hmm...I guess it looks like...
-A man's face.-
-Butterfly.-
-A koi.-
-A dog.-
-A small boat floating in a lake.-
-Funyarinpa.-
(I was more thinking an island with a cross on it.) (Of course you'd think that Jesus freak. I was more thinking the opposite of a cat and man's best friend.) In other words...
Junpei: A funyarinpa?
(Of course you'd go for the 'fun'ny answer this time around.)
Junpei: See...? I mean this totally looks like one...Here, and here...
'Junpei indicated parts of the picture that looked exactly like this other parts. After 3 seconds of silence, Lotus looked at Junpei.'
Lotus: What the hell is a funyarinpa?
Junpei: What do you mean "what the hell is a funyarinpa"?
(Exactly what it says on the tin! ...No! Now you've got me doing it!)
Junpei: You mean...you don't know?!
Lotus: How the hell would I know!?
Junpei: How could you not know?! That's...that's practically blasphemous. Say you're sorry! Apologize to the funyarinpa!
(Sorry folks, Shimohi and Akurei are way too busy rolling on the floor and laughing their 'kerples' off to give a proper response.)
Junpei: Goodness, you are such a rude woman.
'Another 3 seconds of awkward silence went by. Lotus opened her mouth as she shook.'
Lotus: Junpei, are you just screwing around?
Junpei: ...
Lotus: Forget it. I'm just gonna tell you. This is a dog.
(Told ya so!)
Lotus: See...like this.
'Lotus pointed out parts of the picture, and eventually a dog took shape in them. It looked as though she had a point. It was a dog. Santa also nodded in agreement.'
Junpei: So? Now we know what it's a picture of, but... I don't see how that helps us.
'Lotus nodded, and began to speak.'
Lotus: A TV show from Great Britain did an experiment once. They took 2 similar pictures. Both of them were difficult to identify initially...But once you'd figured out the answer, you couldn't see it as anything else. The first picture was a woman wearing a hat. The other one... Well, to make it easier...Let's just say it was this picture of a dog. So. Their experiment...
'First, they sent the pictures to other parts of the world where British radio and television didn't reach. To Ireland, the U.S., Africa, Europe, etc...Then, in each country, they gathered a number of test subjects. All in all, there were roughly 1,000 people. Those 1,000 people where shown the 2 pictures, and asked "What does this picture look like to you?" The results, in and of themselves, were not terribly interesting...[9.2%] of the people saw the lady in the lady picture. [3.9%] saw the dog in the dog picture.'
'Then, 2 days later... They broadcast a new show. During the 30 minute show, they broadcast the dog picture, and its solution. The audience was estimated to be 200,000 people. After the broadcast, it could be assumed that the number of people who knew the solution to the dog picture now totalled over 200,000 people. After another 2 days had passed, they gathered a number of research subjects from areas where British TV and radio did not exist. This time, they were only able to find a sample of roughly 850 people. Naturally, none of them were people, none of them were people who had participated in the 1st test. They were, however, given the same test, and the same 2 pictures. The results...were shocking. [10%] of the people saw the lady in the lady picture. The previous test had yielded a [9.2%] success rate-'
(That's not much of a difference.)
'-the change was not statistically significant.'
Of course.
'The dog picture, however, produced a very different result. The percentage of people able to successfully find the dog grew from [3.9%]. A very significant increase.'
(Not from where I'm standing...) (Let's burn the witch anyway, just to be safe.)
Lotus: So, do you understand? Do you realize the significance of this experiment? There was no way the second group could have seen the picture. They lived far away from Britain, and couldn't have seen the picture. But even so, it was only the success rate for the dog picture that went up. Why? How did that happen? What does it mean?
'Lotus looked back and forth, from Junpei to Santa and back again. Normally calm and collected, she looked now as though she were very nearly possessed, and there was something manic about her manner. Santa took an involuntary step backward.'
Nerdgasm? (Ew, gross!) What?! That a nerd could get excited over something? (No! Nerds in general!)
'Junpei didn't budge, and stared straight back into Lotus's eyes...'
Junpei: Does this have something to do with that "field" or whatever it was that you were talking about earlier? ..."A field not visible to the eye"...So if more people know the answer...Then that information will pass through the field...
Lotus: ...
Junpei: ...
Lotus: ...
Junpei: ...
Lotus: Pssyyyych!
"I know, you know, that we're not telling the truth. I know, you know, they just don't have any proof." ("Embrace the deception.") "Learn how to bend." ("'Cause your worst inhibitions tend to...") "...Psych you out in the end!" (Now you two are singing show theme songs.)
'Her manner suddenly shifted, and Lotus smiled broadly at Junpei and Santa. She waved her hand, dismissively, doing her best to laugh the whole confrontation off.'
Lotus: Oh, I was just kidding. You really shouldn't take me seriously. Well, I mean, the things I just told you about are true. They really did happen. But the results of that experiment really aren't anything to go by. They could have easily falsified them. In the end, I'm sure they were just in it for the ratings. They are a TV station, after all.
'At last, it seemed that Santa had gained control of his composure.'
(More like secure that he can continue his lie. Besides, June not burn...) (...ing up from the embarasment of being assosiated with this crap depends on it.) Nice save, Niyagi...I hope.
Santa: R-Riiiight! Man, I gotta admit, you had me there for a minute! I, uh, really thought you were serious...
Lotus: *Giggle* Of course not! Like I told you before, I'm sure it's all just pseudoscience.
(Like Creationism.) Usually Akurei's a troll, but I do agree with that.
Santa: O-Oh, okay, right! Ha ha hahahaha!
'Santa and Lotus laughed, and gave one another jovial claps on the shoulder.'
We've been trolled! (We've been trolled!) (You've already done that song already!)
'Junpei, however, didn't feel so much like laughing. Something felt...wrong...unclear...'
(He's hid...) Oh, just stop it already, it's getting annoying!
'...'
Lotus: All right, enough nonsense. We've got the key. Let's get out of here.
Santa: Word.
'Lotus and Santa walked away from the picture. ...But Junpei stayed, staring at the picture of the dog. "A field not visible to the naked eye"...[Morphogenetic field]...The more he thought about it, the more his head hurt.'
("My brain hurts!") (Your demonic antics make 'mine' hurt!) I back away from the dog painting and head towards the Mars door. (About fucking time!)
Santa: All right! Let's go to the hallway! I'll go get June. You guys head to the door!
Lotus: Okay.
Junpei: Roger that.
I click on the Mars door with the corresponding key in hand. (Of course!)
Junpei: Yes! It unlocked!
Lotus: Good job, Junpei!
Santa: Good, now we can get going. C'mon, what're you guys standing around for?! Let's get outta here!
Okay...I click on the door again.
June: Come on Jumpy, let's go!
Junpei: All right. Let's go!
--------------YOU FOUND IT!--------------
And...I think that'll be a good place to stop for now. See you next time!
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