Wow...It's been a while since I worked on this. (Maybe
it's because we're going to see a whole load of **** we've already
read before.) Yeah... Well, like I said before, we're only
going to report if anything different happens. A note to the readers,
this covers content from the
third post of this LP.
Warning!: This is based upon a game that's rated M for Blood, Drug
References, Strong Language, Suggestive (read 'Sexual') themes, and
Violence. If any of these things offend you, don't click on the link.
--------------------
Junpei: Who's Zero?! What's this "Nonary Game!? C'mon!
Anybody? Anything?!
(Oh, if only I could tell
you...) But he can't hear us, and if it is mentioned;
Especially now, it'll be spoiled for the readers.
Junpei: What the hell is going on?! What are we doing here?!
Aside from the fact that this is a Let's Play in the first
place... (Even WE are trying to
figure that out ourselves!)
--------------------
'One: You escape from this ship.'
Well, at least that proves that Zero actually did use those exact
words...
'Two: Your heart rate reaches zero. In other words, once the
bracelet is taken outside the confines of the ship, or detects that
its wearer's heartbeat has fallen to zero, it will shut down
automatically. There is no other way to remove your bracelet. If you
attempt to force it off, or disable the detonator, the bomb within
you will immediately explode.'
--------------------
'Why had Zero designed such a ludicrous game?'
(Yet another thing I'm not
allowed to talk about. But at least I have the solace of my favorite
food... *munch* *crunch*) (And
here I thought there won't be any new mentions of the Unholy
Nachos...)
--------------------
'As stories were sorted out, the truth became clear: All of
their stories were the same.'
(Some motherfuckers be lying...)
--------------------
'That was all he had said. It had occurred to Junpei at the time
that it sounded somewhat strange, but he didn't press the issue. He
hadn't done so, because there was something that struck him as even
stranger. That was the mystery of the relationship between Snake and
Clover.'
(At this point, we already
know...) They're brother and sister.
--------------------
Seven: Yeah, you're right. You connect the dots between the
victims and that leads you to the perp. Textbook stuff.
(According to WHAT kind of
textbook?) (The textbook on
how to be a...) Hold it! Now that's still a spoiler at this
point!
---------------------
Lotus: Whoever Zero is, they must be incredibly rich.
Ace: Well, we can't be sure of that. To me, this seems as though
it's the work of an organization, not an individual. Zero is most
likely simply the representative of a larger group.
It's just now that I noticed that both Lotus and Ace suggested
that multible people are involved...(Yeah,
and Ace would have plenty of experience with this sort of thing.)
(What's that supposed to mean!?)
(You know what I mean!) (No,
I don't!)
---------------------
Ace: *Sigh*
Well, I'm not the only one that does that. (I
think that deserves more explanation.) Oh, right, I meant "I'm
not the only one to indicate expressions in text by framing them with
asterisks."
---------------------
(Here's where things start to go
into a diffrerent direction!)
'He began to walk toward door [5]...Clover and Snake followed,
with Seven a short distance behind. Junpei...'
<<Which door do you want to go through?>>
-...decided that door [4] would be fine.-
-...decided that it had to be door [5].-
Well, last time we went through door 4. So this time...
Junpei: Hey, wait!
'Junpei's cry echoed across the room. The 4 people walking toward the door stopped... And turned back toward him.'
Junpei: I want to go through door [5] too.
(What!? You actually WANT the Monster to gather even MORE material for those unholy nachos!?) (WOOT! Unholy nachoes: Meat lovers edition!) ...I think Niyagi just ran off to barf, herself...
'The words were scarcely out of his mouth when June spoke up.'
June: What!? What are you saying, Jumpy?!
(Indeed, just WHAT in the world are you THINKING!?)
June: If you're going through that door, then I'm going with you!
'He turned around to look at her.'
Junpei: No, you can't. I can't take you with me.
June: Wh-Why...?
Probably has to do with digital roots and all that jazz.
Junpei: We're...well, you know what's in there, don't you? Are you sure you want to see that?
June: ...
'June opened her mouth, as if to say something...'
("Something!") (Not that Code Lyoko gag again!)
'...But instead closed it again, and looked at the floor. Junpei felt an ache in his chest at her clear distress, but... The choice was not his to make. There was nothing else he could do.'
Indeed, that choice is mine! (Not quite...)
'Junpei turned away from June, doing his best to silence his turbulent emotions.'
Junpei: Please. Let me go into door [5].
'Seven scratched his head and looked at the young man.'
Seven: Man... Now we're right back where we started, you know that?
Snake: Junpei's bracelet number is (5), right? If we are going to add Junpei, then... We must subtract (5) from the rest of us.
'Snake turned to Ace...
Snake: Ace... Please, take good care of Clover.
Ace: Oh...all right. That's...that's fine.
No, it's not. I don't think that's such a good idea. (Why?) That... Should never be spoken about. (Huh?) Never mind, we have math work.
'1 + 4 = 5'
Clover: Don't go away!
Snake: You need to listen to me, Clover. Go to door [4] with the others.
Clover: No!
Snake: Don't be so selfish!
'Snake's tone was harsh. Tears welled up in Clover's eyes. She bit her lip, and did her best to fight them off. Snake's expression softened, and he put his arms around Clover. He held her close, and whispered into her ear.'
Snake: You'll be fine... Just relax...
'It looked as though we whispered 2 or 3 more words, but whatever they were, Junpei didn't hear them.'
And, by association, neither did any of us. (Indeed.)
'He couldn't help but wonder what the other man had said. Snake pulled back from his sister, his eyes kind and inquiring.'
Clover: Okay... I understand...
'Her voice was barely audible from where Junpei stood. ...Before long, new teams were assembled.' And here they are!
'Those going to door [5]: Seven, Snake, and Junpei.'
'7 + 2 + 5 = 14 [insert arrow here] 1 + 4 = 5'
'Those going to door [4]: Lotus, Santa, June, Ace, and Clover.'
'8 + 3 + 6 + 1 + 4 = 22 [insert arrow here] 2 + 2 = 4'
'Seven, Snake, and Junpei scanned their numbered bracelets in quick succession. The screen of the RED showed 3 asterisks.'
Junpei: All right then, let's go.
'Junpei glanced around one last time, his hand resting on the lever of the RED.'
June: Okay... Please be careful...
'Concern was written plainly across her face. Junpei looked her in the eye and gave what he hoped was a reassuring nod. He pulled the lever. With the sharp "clack of a lock releasing, the door swung open. Ahead of them, in the small hallway, were the pitiful remains of the 9th Man.' (And the source of the topping of my awesome "unholy nachos" that a certain someone named.) (Huh?) She doesn't have a clue.
'For a moment, Junpei froze. Try as he might, his eyes would not leave the corpse, and his feet would not leave the floor. Seven, too, seemed paralyzed. Snake, on the other hand, seemed unconcerned.' (Easy feat for the blind man over here...)
'He walked calmly down the bloody hallway, and only stopped when he realized his companions were not following.'
Snake: Do you intend to kill me?
Dude, I still remember the first playthough... (What happened in that?) Can't answer that. (Same here... *shudder*) (It must've been really bad and/or scary for even the Monster to react this way to what happened.) You're not kidding...
Snake: I assume you haven't forgotten the door only remains open for 9 seconds, have you?
'He hadn't even bothered to turn around--his head was, at most, slightly cocked toward one shoulder. Junpei and Seven looked at one another, nodded, and threw themselves through the door.' (Good!)
'As they did, a cold tone sounded from the left wrists of all 3 men. Seven and Junpei looked down at their bracelets. On both of them, and on Snake's, a red skull had flickered to life. The detonator had begun its countdown! They had scarcely processed this information when--With a metallic slam, the numbered door behind them swung shut. Unless they could find the device that would deactivate the detonators on their wrists...' (They'd all turn into nacho dip fodder.) ... (That's still gross and disgusting!)
'They would not be leaving the hallway.' Of course they'd leave, they just won't be taking their flesh and bone shells with them. (And you're just disturbing.)
Seven: Hey! Where's the DEAD!?
Well... You, Snake, Ace, and Clover managed to find it the first time we came around.
'The fear and urgency in Seven's face reflected what all 3 of them felt. Junpei spun around, searching desperately for the DEAD. He found it easily enough. It was on the wall, next to the closed door labeled [5].'
Junpei: Found it! Right here!
See, told ya you'd find it!
'As he yelled, he struck the scanner with his hand. The other 2 scrambled to follow suit. As soon as they finished, Snake threw the lever down.'
Junpei: ...
Snake: ...
Seven: ...
(Come on, you're not going to explode. Relax!)
Junpei: Phew...
(See! Was that so hard?) (Easy for you to say, you're not running around with a bomb in your gut.) (About that...) Don't. (Okay, okay! *grumble* *grumble*)
Junpei: Well, it looks like it's stopped.
'As he spoke, Junpei wiped the sweat from his forehead with a trembling hand.'
Seven: Goddamn thing's gonna give me a heart attack...
That, or a Death Note...
'A muscle stood out in Seven's neck, and the corners of his mouth were twitching.'
June: Jumpy, are you all right?!
(You know damn well he's all right!) (Can you please STOP sounding crazy!) Yeah... That's it, Akurei's just saying crazy things... *smile* (You're hiding something, I just know it.)
Clover: Are you guys okay?!
'They could hear anxious voices, muffled but distinct, from the other side of the door.'
Junpei: Yeah, we're fine!
Snake: The detonators have been deactivated!
'They heard relieved sighs, and even through the door the 3 men could feel the tension disperse.'
Seven: All right, we're moving on! Be careful, okay?
Lotus: Okay!
Santa: Sure thing!
'...They heard footsteps moving away, and before long they were alone again. Junpei looked around. The hallway hit a dead end 20 or 30 feet from where they stood. A thick, iron wall blocked their way. Try as they might to force it, the wall refused to move. To the left, however, was a wooden door that looked positively inviting by comparison. In the middle of it was a plaque that read [1st Class].' In comparison, the cabin we visited the first time was only the second class cabin.
Seven: A 1st class cabin, huh...
Junpei: Well, it seems like it.
Snake: Let's have a look then, shall we?
'Without hesitation, Snake opened the door and stepped inside. Seven followed closely behind him. Junpei moved to follow them was well, but... He stopped, just short of the threshold, and looked back, not knowing why.' (Uh... Is he seeing us?) (What with having...) No! Don't mention that! Niyagi could have a relapse! ("Relapse"? Of what!?) Just trust me when I say it's better for everyone if you don't know.
'Lying in the small hallway was a man's body--or at least, what was left of it.' (Especially after I reloaded my nachos with dip! Say hello to "Unholy nachoes: Meat lovers edition"!)
'He'd tried hard to avoid looking at the grisly scene, but it just wouldn't... leave... his mind.' Oooooo! Spooky.
'What had once been a man's internal organs now looked like so much vomit...' (And you put this garbage on top of otherwise good nachos...) (Yes, I do! *munch* *crunch* Love the extra meat in this version!)
'As though something had chewed up and spit out the better part of his torso. It was hideous, but worse still, it was cruel. It was hard to believe the thing on the floor had once been human... The black pool of thick blood... The lumps of glistening flesh spread across floor...' Wow, this scene is so gruesome that even the narration's failing at grammar.
'The awkward, twisted tangle of shredded intestines... The head, wrenched to some grotesque, unnatural position...' (You're unnatural, Monster!) (Why, thank you.) ...When is Niyagi going to learn that insults like that don't work on Akruei...?
'The man's glasses lay next to his head. The lenses were cracked, and the frame bent and distorted. And next to the glasses lay a bracelet, the number 9 still displayed on its face.'
'"Lastly, let us discuss [how to remove the bracelets]. There are only 2 ways to do so." "One: You escape from this ship." "Two: Your heart rate reaches zero."' (That reminds me of something, don't doctors have to test heart rate on a BARE arm. As in "there's nothing between the testing device and the arm itself"?) Yeah why...? Oh! Akurei, bring that up again some other time, not now!
'"In other words, once the bracelet is taken outside the confines of the ship, or detects that its wearer's heartbeat has fallen to zero, it will shut down automatically."'
Junpei: Hrg!
'Suddenly, Junpei felt his stomach convulse, and a knot of muscle gripped his throat. He clapped his hands over his mouth, and ran to the 1st class cabin.' Most likely hoping there's a bathroom in there.
'The atmosphere changed immediately. The room was gorgeous, and despite the apparent age of the ship, none the worse for wear. He looked around. Seven and Snake were nowhere to be seen. There were 2 doors on the right side of the room. He opened the one on his right, and went through. On the other side of the door was a short hallway. He jogged down the hallway, opened the door at the other end, and peeked through. There they were, to his right, busy examining something. He stepped through the door and walked toward them.'
Junpei: What's up...?
(Someone needs to review their Ebonics language skills. You greet new friends by saying "What up", lose the contraction and the extra two letter word!) *sigh* Sometimes we listen to an "Ebonics Language Lesson" program on a local radio station...that does not exist in meat space.
Seven: Check this out... We found this thing here on the door.
Junpei: The red light's on... Does that mean it's locked?
Snake: So I would assume.
Junpei: Is there any other way out?
Seven: We looked around a little. Other than this door, we didn't find anything.
Junpei: So you're telling me that unless we can open this door...
Snake: Yes. We won't be going anywhere.
'Junpei stepped away from the door, and looked around the room. The room they were in looked like a bedroom. He figured the room he'd originally entered was the living room, or whatever passed for one on a ship.'
Seven: All right, let's find a way to open this door. C'mon, guys!
----------SEEK A WAY OUT!-----------
You know what this means, Akurei? (Oh yeah! It's time for a...) RAIDING PARTY! I'm checking out the bed first... Oh, what's under the pillow? We've obtained a "score plate (A)", apparently.
Snake: I see... This feels like glass.
(*LOL* That's hilarious to hear from Snake, "I 'see'", *LOL*) (*Ji...*) Yes, we're aware that's a figure of speech. Like The Doctor saying that something "breaks his heart".
Snake: A rectangular plate of glass... Is there something written on the surface...?
Junpei: Yeah, it's a sheet of music with a couple of A notes...
And now we see why it's called "score plate (A)".
Snake: Just As?
Junpei: Yeah, that's it. Kinda weird, huh?
Backing out of the item menu and...
'It took Junpei by surprise. Snake, usually so calm and collected, suddenly began to move. He stared about the room almost frantically, clearly looking for something. No, Junpei thought, not "staring"...After all, he's blind. Blind or not, Snake was clearly attempting to do something.'
Sounds like he's making a Search check... Damn it! I forgot where I put my twenty-sided dice!
'At last, Junpei could no longer contain his curiosity.'
Junpei: What're you doing?
'Snake waited a moment before answering.'
Snake: I heard something...strange.
(Okay, so it was more of a Listen check.) Still can't find that dice...
Junpei: ...Something strange?
Snake: Ah well. Nevermind. It doesn't seem to be anything suspicious.
([sarcasm] Right... [/sarcasm])
Snake: I don't wish to toot my own horn, but my auditory senses are considerably more advanced than those of most humans.
Well, when one can't use their sense of sight, the other senses have to pick up the slack... (That, or lack of one sense makes signals from the other senses more noticeable...)
Snake: I notice even the slightest of noises.
Probably not to the point of hearing an empty can being dropped several feet away while outside, but then again...
Junpei: Right, are you gonna tell me you can hear a needle drop from a mile away?
... (That's...disturbing...) (What?! The implication that Junpei can read Shimohi's...) (We get it already!)
Snake: Ha! No. Such a thing would be impossible.
(Of course!) And... I just heard that in M. Bison's voice... (Which is a stock reference on some That Guy with the Glasses videos.)
Snake: However, by listening to the sound of footsteps and breathing...As well as sound echoing off the environment, I can locate most objects.
Heck, I bet Snake can even ride a bike by himself like that. (Get out!) No, seriously, that is something that's possible!
Junpei: Oh yeah, that's right. When Clover fell on the big staircase a little while ago, you were at her side immediately. So that was...hm.
Snake: Yes. I could hear it happening. In fact, I can run quite fast--certainly as fast as you. And should someone attempt to start a fight with me, I am quite confident that I could defeat them.
(You heard it here folks! My money's on the blind dude!)
'Junpei was somewhat taken aback by this revelation. He stared at Snake, skeptical.'
Snake: You don't believe me, do you?
(Well, that is rather hard to believe...)
Snake: Care to give me a try? I must warn you, you'll no doubt regret it.
(No thank you...) (We'll just take your word for it.) Besides, we're practically ghosts here, we couldn't fight Snake even if we wanted to.
Junpei: ...
Snake: Well, I suppose that's enough playing around. Let's resume our search, shall we?
Indeed...
'With a small, self-satisfied smile, Snake turned, and walked away from Junpei.
Next target, the "vanity" off to the right...
'A white desk.'
I stand corrected, my next target is the desk...
'Feels kinda...fancy.'
(No shit Sherlock! This is a First Fucking Class Cabin!) Is there a secret compartment under the cushion of the desk chair?
'It's a small, round chair. Looks like it probably goes to the vanity.'
Can you stop flip-flopping over if the white piece of furniture to our right is a desk or a vanity!? Looking to the right... There's two doors. Looking to the left... And there's an actual vanity! (Let's check it out!) (Let me guess, you think there's something in the drawers.) Bingo!
Junpei: It's totally a table with a mirror.
That's called a "vanity"...
Snake: Ah yes. You know, that sort of thing is known as a "vanity".
Told ya! Even Snake agrees with me. (That's because you own a vanity.) Hey! I use that thing as an altar!
Snake: Were you aware of that, Junpei? Of course, "vanity" also refers to self-love, conceit, and narcissism.
Well, Narcissus was actually so beautiful it's a curse. To the point that when he spurned the love of a nymph named "Echo", Nemesis decided to punish him by making him fall in love with his own reflection. (Yeah... Don't fuck with the Greek gods.)
Snake: As such, you could say that every day, when a woman looks into one of these... She is staring at her own conceit and narcissism. Doesn't that strike you as terribly sad?
As in, "so sad it's terrifying"? ...Yeah. Wait! Niyagi! Are you trying to imply to the readers that I'm actually a woman!? That's just something my grandparents dumped on me because they ran out of room in their home!
Junpei: ...
Can we raid the drawers of that thing already.
'An antique vanity. There's nothing in the drawer. Yep, totally empty.'
Damn it! (How about we check out the piano?) And... That looks like a map of one of the ship's levels.
Junpei: What's this...? This...isn't a score... Is this...a map of the ship?!
Snake: A map?! There's a map of the ship here!?
Junpei: Yeah...
Snake: Then I imagine it will prove very helpful. You'd best hold onto it, Junpei.
Well, it's not like Snake can use it. Nor can we hold it. (And Seven isn't here right now to help anyway.)
Junpei: Okay.
'It is now possible to use the map screen.'
[sarcasm] Thanks for telling us, game. [/sarcasm] Why not try to leave the glass music score here...
'A music stand.'
Junpei: Well, might as well put this glass plate on it...Oh. Hm...
Snake: Is something wrong?
Junpei: It's kinda hard to see the notes. Maybe if I put something under them...?
Snake: Hmmm... A background for the notes...
(As good a time as any to check out those two doors you found earlier.) (But which one first?) I say we go for the left door first... and I've found something on a table in this room!
'It's a heavy piece of paper that's been folded in half. It has "SCORE" printed on the front of it.'
(Here's our note background.)
Junpei: "SCORE"...that's gotta mean musical score.
'If that's true, then the score we just found was probably in here. ...At least, at some point.'
More desk raiding!
Seven: This's some sorta antique desk.
(Ladies and Germs, we've found Seven!)
Seven: Makes sense though, I guess. This whole room's full of antiques.
Yeah, my mother would love it in here. If it wasn't for the whole "death game" thing and all...
Seven: You could get a nice handful of cash for all the stuff in here...
Would something happen if I tap on the lamp?
'An old-fashioned desk. Adds a little class to the room.'
Nope. (As usual.) Turning to the right and... Is there anything stuck in the couch?
Junpei: This couch looks just big enough for 3 people.
Seven: Looks perfect for me.
Junpei: ...What?
(You know, as in, he's as wide as a "Mountain". Even you called him that before the code names were made up.)
Seven: Perfect for an elegant gentleman like myself...
(That more describes Snake rather than you Seven.)
Junpei: The couch looks a lot more elegant... ...
Seven: Hey! There's something you aren't sayin'!
(I did, but you can't hear us.)
Junpei: Uh... Never mind...
(Oh... There's a fireplace!) (Of course you'd be interested in that, you pyromaniac!) Never mind that, it looks like there's another one of those glass music sheets in the fire. (We're going to need tongs or something like that.)
'There's an iron grate in front of the fireplace. There's something behind it...'
Well, let's get it!
'There's an iron grate in front of the fireplace. There's something behind it...'
Yes, we understand that! Let's see if tapping above it does anything...
Junpei: A fireplace...huh. Don't see one of these too often.
Seven: Aren't a lot of people these days with real fireplaces and real fires.
Yeah, well... Most people now a days who even have a fireplace are just gas or electric fireplaces with fake wood and such. But some old places still have real fireplaces... (Like your grandparents and godparent's homes.) Still, that didn't help us. Turning more to the right and... we find a blue vase...
Seven: I get it... You're gonna use this vase, right? That's pretty clever, Junpei. We just gotta fill this thing with water...
And we get the vase! (You know the drill, we hit the "Search Button" [R trigger] with everything we obtain.)
Seven: Looks like a vase. Maybe you could use that...
And there's... the two doors again? Left one again! And we find... (Two suitcases and... a commode?) (Wha...?) You know, a short cabinet where a chamber pot is kept when not in use. ("Chamber pot"... EEEWWW!!!) I somehow knew you were going to do that. But lets check the suitcases first.
'This is a suitcase made of leather the color of rich mahogany.'
The same sort of wood some desks and doors are made of.
Seven: Well shoot... Looks like there's nothing in it...
Well, that was only the suitcase on top, what about the one on the bottom...
'It's a leather suitcase.'
Seven: Dang, nothing in there.
Okay, next stop, the commode... And there's another score plate, this time with the "G" notes!
Seven: It's a rectangular piece of glass. You can see right through it.
Junpei: It has a couple of G notes written on it...
Seven: Huh. I wonder what that means...?
Does something happen if we try to combine the two score plates? Nope. Back into the hallway, and into that middle door and we find... (The bathroom.) Switching items to the vase and tapping on the water faucet...
'This faucet must be for putting water in the bathtub.'
Okay then, vase to the tub itself!
'The bathtub's full of gross, cloudy water.'
(Okay! Who didn't drain the bathtub once they were done with it!?) It wasn't me, it it was, the water would be the same color as the river and ocean water seen in my Animal Crossing: New Leaf town of Tasogare.
Junpei: All right... Shouldn't be too hard to fill this vase up.
Now we have a "vase filled with water"!
Seven: Hey, Junpei! What're you doing over there...?
(What does it look like we're doing, dumb ass!)
Seven: Only one thing to do now that you got that thing full of water. C'mon, what're you waitin' for?
That kind of sounds like "'water' you waitin' for?"... *chuckle* (You find even the lamest puns hilarious.) (To the fireplace... Wait! Are you going to put the fire out!?) It's the only way to get that score plate in the fire.
Junpei: All right, time to put this fire out.
Seven: About time, buddy! Let's do this!
Let's do this chums! Leeroy Jenkins!!!
Junpei: Here we go!
(NOOOOO!!!)
'... ...'
Seven: Hahaha! Good job! Another success! That fire didn't stand a chance.
(Excuse me while I sit in the corner and mourn the fire... *munch* *crunch* *snap*) I don't think that's how you morn the death of some...thing... (I'm consuming the fuel the fire can't now!) Okay... Now let's get that score plate already.
Junpei: All right, I'll just pull this out now...
Dude, that's likely to still be hot from the fire...
Junpei: Don't wanna get burned, so let's pull down the sleeves...
And we get a... "score plate" that's it... Oh this is the background for the notes!
Seven: It's a ceramic plate of some kind... It looks like a blank sheet of music.
'As Junpei tucked the plate into his pocket--Seven cried out, and stumbled--his balance lost. He threw out a hand and caught the wall in time to steady himself and avoid the floor, but his face was flushed, and he looked startled.'
Junpei: Hey... Seven, what the hell was that? Are you all right?
Seven: Yeah, yeah, I'm fine... I just felt a little dizzy, that's all.
'Seven rubbed a couple of fingers across his brow, and then shook his head, as if to clear it.'
Seven: What the hell's wrong with me...?
(Maybe it's whatever gave you amnesia in the first place.) (Wait!? He has amnesia? What is this, a Rune Factory game!?)
Seven: First memory loss, now I'm gettin' dizzy for no reason...
Sounds like a head injury to me.
Junpei: ...
Seven: ...
Junpei: Memory loss?!
'Junpei couldn't hide the surprise in his voice. Seven, for his part, seemed unconcerned.'
Seven: Right, guess I haven't told you, have I. Told the rest of 'em, but that must'a been before you showed up. Well, the long and the short of it is that I don't remember Jack from before I woke up here. Didn't realize I hadn't told you...
Junpei: Woah woah, wait a minute... You're talking about amnesia, right?
Seven: Yeah, I guess so.
Junpei: Well, why're you an amnesiac? What happened to you?
(Dude, HE HAS AMNESIA! EVEN 'HE' DOESN'T REMEMBER WHAT CAUSED HIM TO FORGET!)
Seven: If I knew that, I wouldn't really be one, would I?
Junpei: Oh...yeah, I guess that's true.
'Junpei paused for a moment, and stared at Seven.'
Junpei: Are you telling the truth?
Seven: Huh?
Junpei: Well, you look pretty calm for somebody who doesn't remember anything.
Obviously he remembers "something" otherwise, he wouldn't be able to walk or talk or anything like that.
Junpei: If you've really got amnesia, shouldn't you be...like...upset, or confused, or something?
Seven: Well, sure, I mean I was pretty confused when I woke up down on D Deck. But that was a while ago. I've had some time to get used to it. After a while, I figured it wasn't worth the trouble of worryin' about it. After all, why worry about something I can't change? Well, people usually don't stay amnesiacs forever. I figure it'll work itself out eventually.
Junpei: That's... That's it?
Of course! No one really wants to feel worried and afraid forever! (Is it just me, or is that directed at some people who're not likely to read this, ever.)
Seven: That's it.
Junpei: ...
Seven: All right, that's enough talkin' for now. Let's get back to work.
'Seven gave Junpei a look the younger man wasn't sure how to interpret, and turned to walk away. Somehow, though, Junpei didn't find his reassurances very reassuring.'
Okay, back to the room with Snake and let's see if these A and G notes get us anywhere with the piano...
'A music stand. Might as well put the music I've found on it.'
Junpei: I'll put the ceramic plate on the bottom...And the glass plates on to--Wait a minute...
Snake: What's wrong?
Junpei: Well, I put them all on top of each other, but they look...odd. It doesn't really look like a song.
Maybe it's more like the pass code for the door out of here.
Snake: Hmm... Then in all likelihood we haven't found them all. We need to find more glass plates.
Okay, right door in the bedroom now... Two suitcases, another "commode" with a safe on top. (And you're checking the suitcases first...again.)
'A leather suitcase.'
Snake: There's nothing inside. I can tell by the weight, and it makes no noise when shaken.
(Now the bottom one...again.) (Bet ya over nine-thousand Internets there's nothing in there again!)
Snake: Unfortunately, there's nothing inside.
(Told ya!) The "commode" next and... a score plate with "C" notes is inside.
Snake: Yes, yes, Well, this feels like glass. A rectangle of glass... Transparent, I assume? I can feel something printed on the surface... What is it?
Junpei: A sheet of music with some C notes on it.
Now for the safe.
Snake: This safe is locked.
Damn it!
Seven: It's one'a those dial locks. It doesn't have a key. We just need to get the dials in the right place, and it'll open.
Junpei: Did you find anything, Seven?
Seven: Nope. How 'bout you, Snake?
Snake: I also found nothing.
Junpei: ...
(Did you check the bed sheets?) Oh right, there was something hidden under bed sheets last time. (What "last time"?) Huh... Nothing, we didn't say anything about that.
'A bed with a canopy... I've seen things like this in movies and stuff, but never in real life.'
Snake: True. You don't see to many these days. I can't see the details, obviously, but... I imagine it's one of those princess beds Clover is so fond of.
Junpei: Clover...wants one of these?
Snake: Yes. She wants a princess bed. Didn't I say that?
More like you implied it, but yeah.
Snake:You think it doesn't suit her?
Junpei: Uh, yeah, I guess you could say that.
Snake: Ah, Junpei. Judge her by appearances, will you?
(Actually, I'm more worried about her killing us all. Better keep any axes far, far away from her.) (Where did that come from?) You would want to forget it afterwords if I told you.
Snake: And where you should not.
Junpei: ...
How about we search the bathroom some more. First...
Junpei: Well, the sink's clean... Any water?
Seven: Nothing's coming out... We've got the faucet on all the way, but I can't hear anything...
(How about that thing on the wall?)
Seven: The lights, huh... Nope, doesn't look like there's anything hidden there.
How about behind or on the mirror? (...Oh, right, like back in the D Deck room we were in!)
'...And there we are in the mirror. What a pair... A college kid and a terrifying giant of a man in a beanie.'
Well, at least he isn't a giant eating a man...
'Stuck in a cramped bathroom... With this beast of a man... What would my parents say?'
(If you know what...) (No! No, you Monster! Don't even go there! Actually, although I did interrupt you, I'm still charging you for the reference jar!)
Seven: Hm? Something wrong, Junpei? You looked real sad all of a sudden.
Junpei: Uh...no, nothing.
All right-y then! Activate the piano, take three! And... Action!
'Even if we put all the glass plates we've got together, its pretty clear that this isn't a song. There must be more of them hidden somewhere...'
*Sigh* Might as well search the fireplace room again... How about the chair where we found the score folder! (Now you're grasping at straws.)
Seven: It's a chair.
How about the chair that's in front of the desk?
Junpei: Somebody spent a lot of time carving the legs of this chair. It'll snap like a twig if Seven sits on it, though.
Seven: Mind your own business!
(Several instances of pointless tapping of stuff later, in the bathroom, after tapping the shower head...)
Seven: Testing, testing... Hey, it's great to see you all here. I just flew in from New York, and boy are my arms tired!
(*facepalm* That's one of, if not THE, dumbest jokes in the book!)
Seven: Yes, thank you, I'll be here all week!
(If he says anything about "trying the veal", I'm going to be owed "over nine-thousand Internets" as you call them.)
Seven: Try the veal!
Well, like the points on "Who's line is it anyway", the Internets in this LP series don't matter.
Junpei: That's not a mic, Seven. It's...just a shower head.
Seven: Wha--?! What the hell?!
Aw, come on Junpei! Don't tell me you've never pretended a hairbrush or a broom or anything like that was a microphone for a quick gag. (...) What? (I'm listening for that weird voice, but I'm not hearing it at all.) Same here. (*Sigh* Let me guess, you're not going to explain THAT one to me either.)
Junpei: ...
Well, let's check the lock on the door back in the bed room...
Junpei: So, this is the locking...thing... It's flashing red. That's usually not a good sign. Is that...a microphone?
(Maybe Seven should do his comedy routine in front of it. Maybe it'll explode from the corniness of it and the door will unlock.)
Junpei: It looks like a satellite dish...
Snake: Let me see... Hmm... Well, judging by the feel of it... I would guess that we are meant to produce some sort of sound...And this device will sense it, and unlock.
Well, we haven't tried tapping the piano keys yet...
'A piano keyboard. ...What is Snake doing? He can't play, can he...?'
Snake: This piano... There's something amiss with the keys.
Junpei: You mean it's out of tune or something?
Snake: No, no, not that. It's properly turned, just...
Thank goodness! Otherwise, we're going to have to get a piano tuner to come out here and... (That very bloody unlikely. What with the "sinking ship" and all.) (Why did you air quote the term "sinking ship"?)
Snake: Well, the sounds are clearly purposefully different. The C key doesn't yield a C, but rather a different note entirely. The same goes for the D keys... They play...some other note.
Junpei: Huh. Why do you think it's like that?
Snake: Isn't it painfully obvious? Zero modified it in some way. This piano, you see...Is part of one of the puzzles Zero has set for us. Perhaps if we play the keys in the correct order...Something will happen.
Like "The lock disengaging" for instance?
Junpei: In other words, we need to play a song on the piano.
Snake: I believe so.
Junpei: Hmm...
(Even more pointless searching later...) Hey! Why don't we try to drain the tub now, we don't need the water in it any more. (Well, we don't have any better ideas.)
'There's a plug on the end of this chain.'
Junpei: All right, why don't we just...drain this water?
Seven: Yeah. Good plan.
'All right, where's that thing... A good tug oughta be enouugh to get it out. ...Huh?'
And there's... another score plate! (Boo-ya motherfuckers!)
Seven: A transparent plate made of glass, yes?
Junpei: It's a sheet of music with a couple of D notes on it.
Well, that had better be the last of the plates. Activate the piano, take four!
'A music stand. Seems as good a place as any to put this music we found. Just gotta put the ceramic plate on the bottom...And then stack the glass plates on top of it. All right...good.'
Junpei: Sweet. Now I can play the music.
Snake: Junpei, would you be so kind as to play the piano? I am unable to you see.
Great, has Junpei been brainwashed or something...
Snake: I'm sure I needn't tell you, but... The keys on this piano are...not what you might expect them to be. C won't be C, D won't be D, and so forth. You must listen carefully to determine which keys to strike. Do you understand?
Junpei: Yeah. All right, let's give this a shot.
|1[]2[]3|4[]5[]6[]7|8[
(That's the best graphical representation for the keyboard layout you can think of!?) Yeah, I'm not that good at ASCII art. Let's see... the first white key on the left is just below the lowest line, second white key from the left is on the lowest line, third white key from the left...is the first note we need... So the first line is the that first key we found and then the next three to the right of that one. Then that third key again, then fifth key from the left, fourth, then third again...
So far the pattern is 3, 4, 5, 6, 3, 5, 4, 3, 4, 3, 5... The black keys don't do anything, so we can ignore them. Let's see, after the 3 and the 5 is 6, 5, 4, 3... I've gone it!
'...And we're done. Music is not my forte--wait! What was that noise...?'
Well, I did play the flute in middle school, but flutes and pianos are completely different beasts. Wind vs String instruments and all. (String?) Yeah, a piano works by the keys manipulating hammers inside that strike cords. By the way, the distorted sound of a house key scraping along a piano string is that familiar "vworp vworp" sound of the TARDIS.
Snake: Junpei! We did it!
(Hurray.)
Snake: Looks like it worked! I heard something unlock over by the exit... Let's go!
'Good plan--'
Seven: Stand!
Wrong series here.
Seven: Bow! Be seated!
Ah, I see, that's actually the routine for students in a Japanese school when class begins. (Are you sure he has amnesia?) Maybe he's just remembered that one bit.
'...Well, I guess he hasn't forgotten that. At least Snake thinks it's funny...'
Snake: Hahaha. Yes, I suppose that was the classroom bell, wasn't it. I don't imagine that's what Zero was thinking of, however.
(Or IS it...?)
Snake: No, no, Zero almost certainly meant to suggest Westminster, not middle school.
Seven: Westminster?
Snake: The palace in London that plays host these days to the Houses of Parliament. You've heard of Big Ben, the famous clocktower, yes?
And I also remember that episode of Doctor Who in which an "alien spaceship" smashes through Big Ben... (I think that's enough of the Whovianism.)
Snake: Big Ben plays that very collection of notes on the hour...
Seven: London... The capital of England, huh...
Snake: At any rate, the door is now unlocked. Let's leave this place, immediately!
Indeed, so I can do the whole "You found it" thing again.
Junpei: ...
(Let's get to the door already!)
Junpei: All right! Let's go!
----------YOU FOUND IT!-----------
'He came out of the door, and into a long, straight hallway. He paused for a moment, and turned around to look behind him.'
------------------------------------------------------------------
And we have to end there for now, tune in next time for more of us trying to help nine... Okay, rather eight people escape from sinking ship. (This isn't a TV show, but we do have a reference jar tab to deal with...)
Monty Python Reference Jar
Akruei: $25
Shimohi: $14
No comments:
Post a Comment