Welcome back! Soon we'll choose from a second set of numbered doors! (And by "we", Shimohi means "Shimohi, Niyagi, and I" you the viewers don't really have a say in this LP.) Well, most likely that'll be saved for the sequel. Well, on with the... (...Nonary...) ...game!
Warning!: This is based upon a game that's rated M for Blood, Drug
References, Strong Language, Suggestive (read 'Sexual') themes, and
Violence. If any of these things offend you, don't click on the link.
Santa: Well, enough of this screwin' around. Let's decide. You 1st Lotus. Which door do you want?
Lotus: I...um...I want door number [8].
Figures. (It has her bracelet number and everything.)
Lotus: It's the same number as my bracelet number.
(See, told ya!) (*ji...*) Yeah, I know, we say stuff like this a lot.
Santa: Got it. You're [8]. You're next, Seven. Which one do you want?
Seven: I'll take [7].
(That much is obvious.) I can't get along with that old lady.
Lotus: What?! What did you just say!?
'Her face distorted by rage, Lotus took a step toward Seven.'
(This is going to get ugly...) Who does Lotus think she is? Cu Chulainn!?
'He threw up his hands, and made a face like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar.'
Lotus: Ugh! You're going to get it next time!
We'll see about that.
'She shot him a glare that would have melted steel, then turned and stalked off.'
[sarcasm] Better hurry up, Lotus just burned a new hole into the ship. [/sarcasm]
Santa: All right, who's next...
'Santa's gaze moved across the 3 people left. Finally, they stopped on Junpei.'
Santa: Junpei, which door do you want?
'At last... Junpei's mind was already made up.' (And so was Shimohi's even before this...) Seriously Akurei, don't do this now.
- Door [3]. -
- Door [7]. -
- Door [8]. -
Junpei: I...I think I'm gonna go with door [7].
Santa: Okay. [7] it is.
Junpei: Yeah.
Santa: All right then, that means June's gotta go through [8].
June: What?! Why?!
Junpei: What...?
'Santa grimaced, and muttered angrily to himself, but finally began to explain.'
Santa: If the 6 of us are gonna keep going without leaving anyone behind...There's only 3 ways we can do it.
'--Plan A--
Go through [7] with (358), and go through [8] with (467).
--Plan B--
Go though [7] with (457), and go though [8] with (368).
--Plan C--
Go through [7] with (367), and go through [8] with (458).'
Santa: ...And that's it. Those are our only options. In other words, 3 & 4 and 7 & 8 can never go through the same doors. You get it now?
'As Santa finished, June looked over at Junpei, tears welling up at the corners of her eyes.'
June: Oh no...You're saying we aren't going to see each other again for a long time...
'Junpei felt just as June did. He wanted to be at her side through whatever trials they were preparing to face. But he knew if they were to survive, he had to swallow his feelings. In order for the 6 of them to move forward, he and June had to be separated.' ("You gotta keep 'em separated!") "Hey! Hey! We'll be all right!" *music suddenly stops* Aw dang, the needle scratch... (Very few of these readers are going to get that.) (That is assuming we 'have' any readers.)
'He looked at June. He was scared to lose her, but... He swallowed, steeled his resolve, and did his best to smile.'
Junpei: Hey, c'mon, you're making it sound like we're never gonna see each other again. We gotta split up, but only for a while. This is just like when we went into the [4] and [5] doors, remember? We got split up then too, but we all met back up. I'll bet [7] and [8] are just like that.
June: You mean they're connected somewhere?
Junpei: Yeah... Probably...
Doesn't sound all that reassuring.
June: ...Probably?
'She didn't sound very hopeful. It was Seven that interjected.'
Seven: I'm sure they're gonna connect somewhere.
June: Why...? What makes you think so?
Seven: If they don't connect...Neither team can get through door [9]. In other words, the game would end right here. Zero's been on top of his shit so far.
(I know I haven't mentioned this for a while...) (*ji...*) If you're going to mention what I think you're going to mention, do you really want to lose your precious nachos? (Nope, I'm good! *munch* *crunch* *slurp*)
Seven: I don't think he'd blow it now.
... (What!? There was some really liquid 'sauce' collecting at the bottom of this bucket!) You do realise that's most likely blood and other gross fluids. (So what, I'm a demon and this is an LP of a M rated game! I do what I want!)
Seven: I'm damn sure that son of a bitch wants to have his fun as long as possible.
(Does this 'look' like Hope's Peak Academy to you!?)
Seven: He's not gonna end this game until we get through the [9] door.
'June said nothing. The ears were gone, but her eyes were still sad as they looked at Junpei. He met them, and with what reassurance he could manage, laid his hand gently on her shoulder.'
Junpei: Everything's gonna be fine. We're gonna see each other again. I promise.
'June bit her lip and gave him an almost imperceptible nod.'
June: Yes... Promise...?
'Her voice was barely above a whisper. Santa's voice shattered the moment.'
Santa: *Yawn* ...You guys are done, right?
'He stretched and continued.'
Santa: Anyway, that's pretty much it. Clover and I will both go into separate groups. I figure I'll take [8], and Clover can take [7]. Any problems with that, Clover?
'Clover looked away, and was silent for a moment.'
Clover: Whatever...
'It was more of a dismissal than an agreement, but Santa didn't seem to care.'
Santa: All right, we're ready to go then. Let's move!
'At Santa's command, the group split, and headed for their respective doors. Clover, Seven, and Junpei walked toward door [7]... Santa, Lotus, and June headed for door [8]. For a long moment, they stood in front of the door. Seven took a deep breath.'
Seven: You guys ready?
Junpei: Yeah...
Clover: Yes...
Seven: Okay. Let's go.
'The door had opened. A narrow hallway stretched out before them. Seven and Clover leapt through the door. The moment they did, their bracelets beeped. The detonators in the bracelets had been activated. Junpei stepped forward to follow them... But as he was about to step over the threshold, he stopped. He looked to his right... Toward door [8]... June stood there, a mirror image of Junpei. She turned and looked toward him. Their eyes met. They nodded. Their farewell took almost 1.5 seconds. Then someone took hold of Junpei's arms, and hauled him bodily through the door. He heard the sound of the numbered door slam shut behind him. His bracelet gave a cold, electronic beep.'
Seven: Only 81 seconds left! No time to waste, guys! Let's get movin'!
'Seven lead the way down the hallway. Junpei and Clover followed him, as fast as they could. After what seemed like far more than 81 seconds, they reached the end of the hall. To the left of a wooden door they found the DEAD. There was no time to rest, or catch their breath. All 3 slammed their hands, in quick succession, over the scanner panel on the DEAD.'
Seven: *Pant* *Pant* *Pant*...
Clover: *Pant*... *Pant*... *Pant*...
Junpei: *Pant*... *Pant*... *Pant*...
'Still trying to catch his breath, Seven leaned heavily against the wall.'
Seven: It...stopped... It stopped... Haha...haha...HAHAHAHHAHAHA...
And...I think Seven has just lost it. (I hope you're talking about his sanity...) (...'Cause he's already lost his memory! Maybe he doesn't remember what it's like to be sane?) (That's a horrible question!) (Thank you, thank you very much! I'm here all week!)
'His smile seemed forced, and a little crooked.'
Seven: This is the 2nd time we've gone through one of these numbered doors, but...
Speak for yourselves, I had to do this...oh...let's see...about twelve times by now! (Same here, dude!) (Not really, more like you've had to 'watch this twelve times'.)
Seven: *Phew* You never really get used to it...
I know right, even when I know I'm not on a time limit. I can't help but feel as though if I don't type fast enough, these guys will die. (... ... ...You need help, in the worst kind of way!)
'He stood up straight, no longer out of breath, and wiped some of the sweat from his head and neck. Clover smirked at him.'
Clover: I would'a thought a guy your size would have bigger balls than that.
(Wha-wha-WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY!?) (She just said, "I would'a thought a guy your size...") (No, not that! I mean she's too young to talk about stuff like that!)
Seven: What!? What the hell did you just say!?
(See! Even the Amnesiac agrees with me!)
Seven: Say it again. I dare you!
Sounds more like, "he feels insulted at the implication that he has tiny testicles." (Shimohi, did you really have to say that?) Yeah, 'cause I'm the type to enjoy the feeling of shadenfreude. (You're a horrible person, you know that right?) (That's why Shimohi plays Cards against Humanity!)
Clover: YOU HAVE NO--
Seven: Y-You little--... You wanna die?
(Oh yeah! It's on like Donkey Kong! Fight! Fight! Fight!)
Clover: I'd like to see you try!
Seven: You fucking brat... All right, let's go!
Junpei: Hey, hey, calm down guys. This isn't the time for...uh...this. It's not gonna do us any good.
Seven: Hmph.
Clover: Ugh.
Oh...fight blocked. (You know the first two rules, right...?)
Junpei: Gosh...
'Junpei sighed...' (I'd see why from that barely veiled reference...wait? Can Junpei hear us as well?)
'Sometimes, he wondered if the doors and the puzzles were really the greatest challenge they faced...' (I know that you two are my constant greatest challenge.) Well, you know what...that one guy said... (Forgot the dude's name, huh?) ..."Hell's other people." (But "Friendship is Magic"! No! Not again! I meant, friends are Heaven!)
Junpei: Wait here for a minute, all right? I'm gonna go see if there's any other doors.
'They didn't respond, but Junpei wasn't in the mood for a conversation anyway. First, he examined the inner part of the numbered door. It was, of course, shut tight. On the left was a single short hallway that terminated almost immediately at a thick iron wall. Junpei doubted the wall could be moved. At last, he gave up, and returned to Seven, who was tapping lightly on the wooden door.'
Seven: This door's the only option we've got, right?
Junpei: Yeah, looks like it.
'There was a metal plaque bolted above the door. It read [Operating Room]. If it was to be believed, the room on the other side of the door was an [operating room]. Something about it made Junpei feel...nervous...'
Seven: Well, there's no point to standin' around. Might as well go in and see what's waitin' for us.
'Seven grabbed the brass knob, and slowly opened the door. The creak of the hinge sounded like the groan of an old woman. A chill snaked its way down Junpei's spine. Quickly, he gathered what courage he could, and took the first step into the room. Seven followed, with Clover right behind him. Part of the room just past the door was obscured by a screen. Clover's curiosity got the better of her, sand she darted past Junpei to peer around the screen.'
Clover: Eyyyyyyyaaaaagh!
'Her scream nearly blew out Junpei's eardrums. He and Seven ran toward Clover, to see what had frightened her. The rounded the screen, and the cause of her outburst was immediately clear...'
Seven: Wh-What the hell is this?!
Junpei: Is...is this a corpse!?
(No. It's a dummy, like you three!)
'It was something that looked...kind of like a human, lying across some sort of bed. ...No, not a bed.' (It's a operating table, idiots.)
'An operating table.' (Told ya.) Yes, I think the readers would've most likely figured out that sometimes your comments spoil stuff.
'The table sat on a rusty steel lift, and a cluster of bright operating lights shown down on it from the ceiling. Slowly, they approached. As they got closer to the body, it became clear that it wasn't a body at all.'
Junpei: What the hell... That's just a huge doll or something...
Clover: A...d-doll...?
(Indeed, you three are idiots.) Akurei, everyone has stupid moments sometimes. (Like that one time you thought two statues where street performers.) It was dark and late at night, still, point stands.
'Clover did not look terribly comforted. Slowly, she approached the operating table and looked, as intently as possible, from as far away as possible at the thing.' Whatever you do, don't touch it or you'll become it! (Uh...we don't remember if that actually helps or not.)
Clover: *Phew*
'Junpei could see her relax.' On a related topic, what's a worse threat? The Thing? Ice-9? or The Thing entombed in Ice-9? (Sounds like a new poll topic!)
Clover: You're right... It's only a doll...Man, it really scared me...
'She heaved a great sigh of relief, and wiped a few drops of sweat from her forehead. Seven smirked.'
Seven: Heh... Well, I guess it would'a been weird if you actually had any balls.
(Is Seven talking about the doll or sniping at Clover?) (So...that thing on the table's a miniature titan.) (...) It's a joke, let it go.
Clover: Shut it! Don't you start with me, fatty!
Seven: Oh, what's this? You want a piece of me, short stuff?
Clover: Yeah, bring it on, you whale!
Junpei: Hey, guys...not again, okay...? Seriously, knock it off.
Seven: Hrm.
Clover: Hmph.
So, Junpei's being an auspistice for Seven and Clover. (Don't talk about that troll romance stuff agian.) (Uh...it sounds like you don't want Shimohi and I to make any references, period.) (Exactly!) Oh brother...
'Junpei sighed, and shook his head.'
Junpei: Anyway, it looks like he's got something the 2 of you could stand to have a little more of...
(Silence?) Or quiet? (Death?) Or more like "Lack of life". (A heart?) The usual over nine-thousand Internets to whoever wins. (And if both of us are wrong...) I win! (Of course...)
Junpei: ...I'm talking about a heart.
You read that, over nine-thousand Internets to Niyagi for that!
Seven: Huh? Oh, this? You mean on his chest?
Junpei: Yeah.
'It was set a little higher than normal for a human body, but from the shape of the organ, there could be no doubt that it was a heart.' Doesn't look like a... (...anatomical...) ...heart to me. (Yeah, it looks more like the opening of a va...) (That's quite enough of of you two!) This is an LP of a M rated game, besides, what's so wrong about the word vag... (Lalala! I'm not listening!) *facepalm*
Clover: Why would there be a heart in a doll...?
Junpei: I don't think it's a doll.
Clover: You think maybe it's, like, a medical mannequin or something?
Seven: Or maybe it's got more...personal uses...?
(If you know what I mean? Wink-wink, nudge-nudge...) (Say no more! Say no more!)
'Seven's grin was more than a little perverted.' Hey! You're playing a long for once? That's surprising.
'Clover glared at him.' (No! I mean no more talk about blow-up sex dolls!)
Junpei: Anyway... How about we take a look around this place? Let's go!
Clover: Okay...
Seven: Sure thing.
----------------SEEK A WAY OUT!-----------------
First, things first, I click on the model...
Clover: These dolls are really kinda creepy, you know...
Seven: Hey, it says something here..."John"...?
Clover: You think that's this doll's name?
Junpei: Maybe?
Clover: This thing is creepy...
Seven: I wonder why it's on the bed...
(It's an operating table...) ...that model is supposed to represent a patient... (So, this is for fucking 'medical practice' here!) (You keep coming up with worse and worse puns.) Now for the actual...
Clover: An operating table...Do you think old operating tables looked like this?
Junpei: I have no idea...
(Of course not! It's missing the straps!) Clicked on the box nearby said table...
Clover: Hey... I wonder what this thing is... It says kg on the display...
"Kilograms"? (Probably a scale.)
Seven: You think maybe it's a scale?
(Exactly!) (Enough of this, we better find some shit to add to our inventory.) I turn to our left and see a table with a bunch of surgical tools on it. (Let's check it out.) Close up and...scalpel! Oh, it just highlighted the surface in general.
Clover: That's a lotta surgery stuff.
Seven: There're some scalpels, a few pairs of forceps, and a couple'a syringes...All of it's too rusty to be useful, though.
(Do we still have that whetstone from the kitchen? I want to have a bit of fun!)
Clover: Hey, there's a scalpel here that looks new!
(Cool! Let's pick it up!) And...done! Obtained a scalpel.
Seven: A scalpel that's not rusty...
Junpei: Seems like it was put here for a reason, huh?
Clover: You think it's telling us to cut something?
(No Akurei! No! Not any of us or the characters!) (I was just going to suggest the model.) Sounds great to me.
Junpei: Yeah, I do.
I click on the model again, this time with the scalpel in hand...
'A creepy medical mannequin is lying on the bed. Apparently, his name is "John".' So...nothing. (Keep looking.) What's that behind the operating table?
'A white cloth.' (Like I said, "Keep looking.") I go back where I found the scalpel, this time turning my attention towards the bust model. Maybe I can take this...
'An internal organ--specifically, a lung.' Okay, now the thing as a whole.
Junpei: A medical mannequin with it's guts showing.
Clover: Ew... Gross.
(What Clover said!)
Seven: Hey Junpei. There's a slit in this thing's chest.
Junpei: Yeah, sure is.
Seven: There's somethin' in there...
(I wonder what's inside?) (I don't.)
Seven: Maybe we can get it out. *Grunt* Damnit! Stinkin' thing won't budge. It's stuck.
Clover: Well, I guess you can't use force on this one, then. We need something small that can fit into that little hole.
(Like the blade of a scalpel!) Let's try again.
'You can see this thing's internal organs. If we had something that could fit into those cracks, maybe we could take out some of the internal organs.' Nope, and yes Akurei, I know; keep looking. To the right, to the right...and what's in this tray over here? (I see what looks like a pair of scissors...) Actually, they look like...yes, I obtained a pair of Kocher forceps. (I knew that...) Right...
Clover: Are those...scissors? They look kinda funny.
(Looks like the Monster isn't the only one to make that mistake.)
Seven: No, that's probably a pair of Kocher forceps. Surgeons use 'em during operations. They can hold blood vessels shut, and keep tissue outta the way. We can use it to pull stuff outta small holes, or something like that.
(There's the tool we need, to that bust or bust!) (Puns again...*sigh*) Back to the bust again! Obtained a fake organ!
Clover: So we took the organ thingy out of the chest thingy...
Seven: It's a lung, not an "organ thingy".
Clover: Huh? This part here, on the back... It's all rubbery...
Seven: You're right.
'So? It's a fake organ of course it'd be--wait, what's Seven grabbing it for?'
Seven: Hey, it feels like there's something in here.
Clover: You think we can cut through the rubber part?
(Let's cut this bad boy up!) Let's see... scalpel plus fake organ equals...
Junpei: Let's try cutting this organ with a scalpel.
Obtained a organ key!
Clover: There's a key in this organ...
Seven: Found a key in an internal organ...
(What's a key doing in a lung anyway?) Now about that screen...
Seven: Just a wooden partition. Nothin' special about it.
Dang, well let's see where we found the forceps...and what's under that sheet there? (Another model...) (This time a lady...) (With only a head and a left arm. Cool!)
Clover: Another...medical mannequin...?
Seven: From the looks of it, this one's a chick.
(No duh!)
Clover: She has a name too...
Junpei: "Lucy"...
"You got some 'splainin' to do!" Then again it seems that was never actually said on the show.
Seven: Poor thing...Looks like Miss Lucy only has a head and a left arm.
Clover: Maybe we're supposed to gather all her parts?
Now maybe well find something in this... oven? (Incinerator?) Whatever.
Seven: What's this thing? It's got these short iron legs...
Clover: Maybe it's a heater...?
Junpei: There's nothing inside it.
Dang, to the right again...and I think I found the upper torso! Obtained fake chest!
Clover: Ewwwwwwww that's gross.
Seven: This's the chest... It's a woman's chest... The heart's gone, but it's pretty hot.
Which meaning of the word are you aiming for?
Clover: If that kinda thing turns you on, Seven, you're a real creepo.
Now for that 'desk'...
Clover: Maybe you're suppose to heat something like that gauze to kill the bacteria?
What gauze? We didn't find any gauze? (Did you break sequence again?)
Clover: There's a boiling thingy over there.
Junpei: There's nothing on the lid or in the drawers...
How about under that shelf with all of the bottles?
Clover: The drawer is empty.
Junpei: Yeah, nothing there.
And we come out 'empty handed'. (*ji...*) Let's see what's beyond the screen. (No, I won't allow you to break the fourth wall!) I was just talking about the one in game. So, to round the corner to the left and we find, a door with a sign...
Clover: It says preparation room...
I click on the door...
'It's locked.'
Let's switch the held item to that key we found in that lung.
Junpei: Cool, it's unlocked.
Though the door and down the hallway...what's in the drawer to our left?
'Let's see if...huh. A piece of paper...'
Junpei: What's this...? Is this some kind of medical record?
(Well, there's one way to find out.)
'New material has been added to the file screen.' Well, that's new. Let's see... Apparently John's supposed to weigh 51.3 kg while Lucy's supposed to weigh 53.2 kg. And then there's these numbers written in red with lines drawn toward body parts, is that supposed to be the weight of the individual parts? (Who knows?)
'There's nothing left in the drawer.' I know jackass, I was trying to close it! I back away from it. (You should've learned by now that things close automatically when you back away from them...for some reason.) I turn to my right and I see this...cabinet? I don't know what it really is, but it has three 'doors' one with a red sign, on with a blue, sign, and another with a pink sign. (Red first!) Well, it is the first door on the left.
Clover: Hmm... It won't open. It looks like it's locked. There's a red plate on it. Do you think that means something?
("But what does it mean?") That's the question. Oh well, blue door next!
Seven: Damn... It's not opening. Locked, of course. The blue plate on here seems a little suspicious, though...
(Well, there's only one more option left...) Aside from leaving it there 'till we know what the fuck we're doing. No pink door for us! I back away from the cabinet and see this interesting device on a table to our left...
It's a light with a large glass container and a strange thing that looks like a gate with four colored buttons: white, red, blue, and...pink. (Maybe this has something to do with that cabinet?) I try to activate the buttons...
'There are 4 different lights, each one a different color: white, red, blue, and purple.' Huh? That button and plate clearly look pink to me! (Maybe you need your eyes checked...again.)
'Does this thing react to something, and then the lights light up?' Okay, now how about I turn on that lamp at the end of the table first and then click on the red button?
Clover: The white light on the top is glowing.
Junpei: Yeah, but the red, blue, and purple ones still aren't lit.
Okay how about the container...beaker...whatever!
Junpei: There's a ray of light going through the beaker...
Clover: ...And it's hitting the thing on the right.
So...are we supposed to find some red and blue chemicals? (First stop...)
Seven: A sink. The doctors and nurses probably washed their hands here before an operation. Nothing suspicious here.
(I'm a demon! Not a doctor!) (*groan*) I turn back to the left and what's behind this door?
'There's a lock on the door. The key I've got won't open it.' But what's this next to the door?
Seven: What's this...
That's what I just asked.
Seven: A light switch?
Somehow I highly doubt that.
Seven: Hmm... Doesn't seem to be working.
Well, back to the operating room to see if those bottles of stuff I saw earlier can help with this.
'There are a whole bunch of bottles on the shelves. They all look like medicine. They've got labels, but they're all big medical words that I don't understand.' Okay, so bottom row time.
'There's a lot of different kinds of medication. It's hard to tell them apart.' Well, might as well give Lucy her upper torso back.
Seven: This bed doesn't look very comfortable.
And that does nothing. How about clicking Lucy herself?
'Lucy's head and left arm are sitting on the bed. Maybe something will happen if we gather all of her body parts.' Aw come on! Well, there's always checking the pipes. (Why?)
Clover: There's a pipe going outside.
Ah man! How about that tray where we found the forceps!
'That's a lot of tools.'
(Boring!) Back to the 'scale' with John.
Seven: Huh? There's some sorta lid on this thing...
Clover: Why don't you try opening it?
Seven: Can't. There's no handle. I can't get under it with my nails either...
Will the organ key work?
'There's something that looks like it could be a scale next to the operating table. It has something that looks like a lid on the front of it.' Nope, let's see...out of the screen and to the right we find...
Seven: It's a chemical closet...
(Let's make a meth lab!) (*ji...*) That had better be a joke. Well, apply organ key to door and...
Junpei: Awesome! It's unlocked.
(Alright!) Chemical... (Raiding party! WOOT!) And I click on one of the bottles on the table and...it's another mother trucking puzzle.
'There's a note on top of the table... Iron=1 Salt=2 Water=3 Carbon dioxide=? Ammonia=? Ethanol=?'
Clover: What do you think this is a hint for?
Junpei: Maybe it's got something to do with this box...?
Now I click on the bottles and... Obtained blue liquid!
Clover: It looks like there's something inside that bottle.
Seven: Why don't you try pouring some out into the cap?
'Can't see any reason why not...' (I don't know maybe...) "...shots blow up right in your face!" (Only Civil War re-enactors are ever going to get that quote from the Cumberland Gap song, even with me mentioning it!)
Clover: What's that? It's bright blue. Do you think it's...alien blood?
(Nah, sometimes it's green, or black, or orange-red.) Besides, horseshoe crabs are literally blue-blooded and they're native to earth. (...or are they?) (Don't! Just...don't!)
Seven: *Sigh* Where the hell did that come from?
Clover: Then what do you think it is, Seven?
Seven: I dunno... Some sorta special bath soap?
Clover: Ugh. What a boring guess...
Is that any more boring that ours? (Raspberry Blueberry Faygo?) Now for the other bottle! Obtained red liquid!
Clover: It looks like there's something inside that bottle.
Seven: Why don't you try pouring some out into the cap?
'Can't see any reason why not...'
... (No, you're not doing that Cumberland Gap gag again!) Aw man! Well at least it wasn't obtained from that weird vending machine. (Now it's the SCP Foundation!?)
Clover: What's that? It's bright red.
Kind of like Red Pop... (No! No more Faygo mentions!) Okay, you just did that for me. Thank you! (Nooooo!)
Clover: Do you think it's...blood?
Only if it's Karkat's.
Seven: No, blood's thicker than that.
Clover: Then what is it?
Seven: Beats me...
Well, back to the light device! I poured the red liquid into the beaker and turned on the lamp.
Clover: Hey! It turned red!
Seven: Forget about that...Didn't you hear that just now?
Sounded like a door unlocking. (To the red door! Away!) And we now obtained...a fake right leg. ([sarcasm] Hurray! [/sarcasm])
Seven: The right foot of the medical mannequin. I guess it's a woman's foot but damn... Doesn't look hot at all...
Clover: Have you got a thing for feet, Seven?
Not that there's anything wrong with having a foot fetish.
Seven: N-No! Th-That's crazy...
Clover: You're sure actin' kinda shady...
Back to the light device, blue this time. (Hey, that's your dialogue color, Pansy!) But it's also my hair color...after dying it. Anyway the result of using the blue liquid this time is... (Kaboom!) Just kidding.
Clover: It's blue now!
Seven: I think I heard another noise...
Which means the blue door's unlocked now! (What body part will be behind that door?) Let's see...it's... (A fake left leg. Boring!)
Clover: This is the left foot of the mannequin. Do you think I'm better?
Than...what?
Junpei: Uh...what?
(Junpei's just as clueless as you are.) You're in my head, you're just as clueless as I am!
Clover: Do you think my legs are skinnier?
Oh...that...that's not healthy for your body image. (Comparing yourself to inanimate objects. For shame!) And yet you do the same thing whenever we see a fashion magazine cover. (That's not the same thing!) ([sarcasm] Right... [/sarcasm]) Right, anyway time to do some basic color work. Blue liquid plus red liquid equals... what? Nothing? Same result the other way around... (Maybe you should use one right after the other.) Why not give it a shot?
'A beaker with red liquid in it.' Nope, not working. (And you're getting a similar result from using the blue liquid first.) Well, back to the chemical room to see if we can find some actual purple liquid. Now about the stuff on the left...
Clover: Hey, Junpei. You think there are any slugs on this ship?
Junpei: Huh...?
(That's the question everyone's asking now.)
Clover: Well, if there are, I was thinking we could put salt on them.
"God bless us jolly salters!" ("And take pity on the...") "Slugs!" (And now you're singing a song from some obscure bluegrass band. It's so obscure that not even TV Tropes has a page about them.)
'What's she pointing at...The label states [NaCl]...'
Junpei: Salt, huh...
Clover: Do you think Seven will shrivel up if we put it on him?
No, I don't think Seven's part-slug. Besides, he doesn't have the same moist-yet-porous skin that slugs have that makes that effect happen.
Seven: Hey. You say something?
And now for the right...
Junpei: What's this...
Seven: Looks like a can with a spray nozzle. It says [CO2].
Carbon Dioxide.
Junpei: So it's a can filled with carbon dioxide.
Correct. (So humans are sometimes smart...and sometimes stupid.) Well, pretty much. Now as for the stuff in the back...
Clover: Hm? Somethings stinks...
Junpei: Is it coming from this bottle? It says [NH3].
Seven: Well, that of course stinks. It's ammonia.
I'd know what that smells like, I had to clean floors using that while I was still living with my parents. (And obviously there's ammonia in cat piss.) (And that's why it's a bad idea to clean cat pee with bleach.) And using ammonia's going to be pointless, so vinegar's the way to go! Anyway, upper left shelf time!
Clover: Junpei, there's a bottle of iron powder on the shelf.
Junpei: How do you know it's iron?
Clover: The label says [Fe]. [Fe] stands for iron, right?
And if you surround a pile of redstone dust with four iron ingots in Minecraft, you get a compass. And I confirm that...
'There's a bottle of ammonia on the shelf. It says [NHe] on the label.' Now to check the lower back shelf...
Seven: Ohhhh good stuff! Let's go for a drink.
Junpei: What are you talking about...?
(Alcohol! As in getting so drunk you end up with a lampshade on your head!)
Seven: I'm talking about that bottle. It says [C2H5OH], right?
Junpei: It's ethanol...
Seven: That's right. It's also known as ethyl alcohol. It's pretty much what booze is made of.
Junpei: So... you're gonna drink it?
Seven: ...
('Cmon...I dare you...!)
Junpei: ...
Seven: Nah. I won't. It might say that's what it is on the label, but there could be anything in there.
Assuming Seven can hear you, it's common knowledge that you don't follow advice from 'the voices in your head'. (Still a huge wuss...) Well, C02 on the bottom right shelf.
'There's a canister of carbon dioxide on the shelf.'
Seven: It's [CO2]... C is for carbon, and O is oxygen.
Clover: So carbon dioxide is made up of... 1 carbon atom and 2 oxygen atoms.
(Very good, class...) (Monster, you're not a teacher.) Time for the upper right shelf now...
Seven: Hey, Junpei! There's dihydrogen monoxide on the shelf!
Hey! I'm drinking that right now, good stuff there. Also we're about 70% of this stuff...yeah...
Junpei: Why don't you just say "water"...
Because saying "dihydrogen monoxide" is fun! (Oh brother...)
So let me get this straight...
Upper Left: Fe (iron)
Lower Left: NaCl (salt)
Upper Right: H20 (dihydrogen monoxide/water)
Lower Right: CO2 (carbon dioxide)
Upper Back: NHe (ammonia)
Lower Back: C2H5OH (ethanol)
And what did that note say again? Iron=1 Salt=2 Water=3 Carbon dioxide=? Ammonia=? Ethanol=?
Now how to get to that number pad...or something...
'A rectangular table. I wonder... Did people mix medicine on this thing?' (Clicked the wrong thing.) Clicked on the box... (...that's locked, maybe with a fox...) (You do know if Will reads this he's going to flip out.) (What? Like an acrobatic fucking pirouette off the handle?) And...
'The box is locked. Looks like you have to enter a passcode on the keypad to open it. I can only enter 3 numbers. [E] is for enter and [C] is clear. Once you input the number, press [E]. If you mess up, press [C].'
Junpei: Let's give it a shot.
Oh shit! Let's see...nope, I have no clue at all. (How about this! *types 413*) That didn't work, let's look for more clues.
Back to the prep. room and that light device. I poured in the blue liquid, checked that I have the red liquid, and then clicked the beaker and...it mixes into purple. (I have no idea why that didn't work earlier...) Oh well, time to turn on the lamp!
Seven: I get it... You combined the red liquid and the blue liquid the make a purple one.
(That's basic color theory, dumbass!)
Clover: Good job, Junpei!
(Not that he really desirves it...) (Indeed...) ...
Clover: The purple light came on, and I heard it unlock! I'm sure it's unlocked! The locker with the purple plate has gotta be unlocked!
Junpei: All right, let's see what happened.
It still looks pink to me...but still behind the pink/purple door is... Obtained a fake stomach!
Clover: This is a really big nose.
Seven: That's no nose... It's a stomach!
Clover: Oh... A stomach.
I'd call it a lower torso myself, "tomato tamahto" and all that... Still, now can we give Lucy her missing parts yet?
'Lucy's head and left arm are sitting on the bed. Maybe something will happen if we gather all of her body parts.' Nope, not done yet. (Still need to find that right arm.)
Right back to that chemical puzzle... one moment please... (You're resorting to an FAQ again...) Back, so it's about the number of atoms in each substance...
Iron has...1 (Duh, it's an element!)
Salt has 1 sodium and 1 chloride, 2.
Water is 2 hydrogen and 1 oxygen, 3.
Carbon Dioxide is 1 carbon and 2 oxygen, 3.
Ammonia is 1 nitrogen and 3 hydrogen, 4.
and Ethanol is 2 carbon, 6 hydrogen, and 1 oxygen, 9.
And somehow the answer's supposed to be 349...? (I don't get it either.)
Let's try that and see if it works... and it does! (And we've got...) Obtained a fake right arm...
Clover: It's the right arm of the body... It's kinda creepy...
...and a fake heart!
Clover: A heart. This thing is super creepy...
Seven: This ain't good for the heart.
And I still think it looks more like the opening of a... (Don't say it!) (Vagina!) (What did I just say!?) And we're backing up...
Clover: You think we should go back?
Junpei: Yeah, I think that's probably best.
'Clover nodded, and left. Junpei was about to follow her when he realized that Seven wasn't following suit.'
Junpei: Hey, Seven, what's up?
Seven: Oh...well...
'He looked up at Junpei distractedly, and then back down at the brown bottle he held cupped in his large hands.'
Junpei: What's that?
'In response, Seven tossed the bottle gently to Junpei. He caught it, and twisted it around to read the label.'
Junpei: Ethylenediamine tartrate?
Seven: EDT--It's tartaric ethylenediamine.
(And...Shimohi's trying to look up that crap on wikipedia...) The closest I could find was this.
Junpei: What kind of medicine is that?
Seven: It's not medicine. I think it's an industrial-strength detergent.
Well, according to that wikipedia article, Ethylenediaminetetraacetic acid is "It is widely used to dissolve limescale." (Close enough for government work.)
Junpei: Why would they have something like that here?
Disinfectant... (Duh!)
Seven: Well, probably to clean stuff up.
Junpei: Clean what up?
(The sort of stuff you find in the ingredients list of the 'chunky salsa dip' in the Monster's Unholy Nachos.) Minus the explosive residue... (But that's what gives it that spicy kick! *munch* *crunch*)
Seven: Fuck if I know. Still... It looks like it's cleaned my brain up.
I'm sure that's not actual Brain Bleach.
'Junpei looked up from the bottle.'
Junpei: You remember something?
'Seven nodded, slowly, and spoke.'
Seven: Well, I remember a story about EDT. It happened about 50 years ago. There was this factory, somewhere in America, making big old EDT crystals. They were makin' it to sell as industrial-strength cleaner, like I told you before. But...
(Does this mean it's the real Tin-foil Hat Time 3: The rule of Trilogy Creep...?)
'A year after the factory started up... Somethin' strange started happening with the crystals they were building. Water molecules started attaching themselves to the EDT crystals. This made 'em into a sort of mutation of the original crystals, called a "hydrate". Once the crystal turns into a hydrate, though, it's useless as a cleaner. The factory had to just dump the crystals--as a hydrate, they were useless. But it didn't end there.'
'After that day, the same thing started happening in EDT factories everywhere, even ones nowhere near that first American factory. They'd been making crystals the same way, with the same materials and the same equipment and environment. But now, all of a sudden, every single crystal they formed turned into a hydrate. In fact, ever since that day, no factory anywhere has been able to make a pure EDT crystal. Even in EDT research done years before, they'd never gotten a hydrate.'
'But after it happened at the first factory, it just...spread...'
Seven: It was like... Man, how do you say it...
So...it's like what happened with the glycerin?
Junpei: "Like the molecules were communicating with one another." "Transmitting information in a way humans couldn't perceive..." "This phenomena spread throughout the world." ...Right?
'Junpei looked up at Seven with half a smirk. Seven stared at him, dumbfounded.'
Seven: Yeah, that's... That's it, exactly. But...how did you know?
Junpei: I heard another story kinda like that one.
Seven: When?
Junpei: In the freezer.
Seven: What? The freezer?
'Junpei told Seven the story he'd heard from June in the freezer in the kitchen. How one day, glycerin began to crystallize...And the story of ice that wouldn't melt at room temperature. When Junpei was done, Seven looked thoughtful, and absent-mindedly rubbed the scar on his chin.'
Seven: Ice that doesn't melt at room temperature, huh...
Junpei: That sounds familiar?
Seven: Yeah, hold up... I feel like I can remember something... It's...right there...
("on the tip of your tongue?")
'Seven squinted. His eyes stared off into space, as if he were trying desperately to focus on something far away.'
Junpei: Do you...
-...Know something about it?-
-...Know about ice-9?-
Well, we know what this is about... (Nope! I'm not going to let you look any more like freakish nerds than you already do!)
Junpei: ...Know something about it?
*facepalm* (*facepalm*) *double facepalm* (*double facepalm*) (You can thank me later.) (Well, this time line was doomed long ago...)
Seven: I told you, I think I do! Just hold on...
'Seven thought hard, and mumbled to himself. After a few minutes, he gave up.'
Seven: Arg! Damnit!
("My brain hurts!") (Not more of that Monty Python crap!)
Seven: Why'd you have to ask me some dumbass question?!
'Cause Niyagi here just had to hijack the controls for the game.
Seven: I totally lost my train of thought!
Is it going to crash sometime later? (It got lost, not literally derailed.) (But that 'dumbass question' did 'derail' that train of thought.) Point, I hope this doesn't bite us in the ass.
Junpei: ... ...S-Sorry, man...
'But before Seven got the chance to reproach him further--Clover's voice pierced the air.'
Clover: Hey! What are you 2 doing over there?! Stop wasting time and get over here!
Seven: Okay, okay, we're coming.
Clover: Ugh!
'Seven looked at Junpei...'
Seven: Ah well. Look, if I remember anything, I'll let you know, all right? Right now, we need to get the hell outta this room though, okay?
'With that, he turned and left. Junpei, his mind still occupied with the story Seven had told him, slowly followed.' NOW CAN WE PUT LUCY BACK TOGETHER!?
Junpei: Okay... So we've collected the 6 parts of the medical mannequin...So the one's we've got must be for Lucy. Right?
(Nope, we got a part mixed up.)
Clover: Yeah.
Seven: Seems like it.
Junpei: Well, I say we give Lucy her parts back. Any objections?
(Objection! That heart we have actually belongs to John, and John has Lucy's heart!)
Clover: Nope.
Seven: Agreed.
Junpei: All right, let's get started. COMBINE!
I check the scale.
Clover: Oh, there's a number on here...
Seven: 51 kg? What's this? Is this the weight?
Junpei: Well, we were just stacking body parts on it, so it makes sense that it'd be the weight.
You think the heart's what's wrong? (I know it, more like I'm using your memory of when you did this before.) Oh well, I try to click on it anyway.
Clover: Hey... Nothing happened.
Seven: That's odd... Maybe it's the wrong weight?
Clover: Weight?
Junpei: Yeah, well, you know how there's a scale on the side of the bed? Maybe...We need to get the scale to a specific number.
Seven: ...How're we going to do that?
Junpei: I think we're supposed to swap her body parts with John's.
Clover: Oh...
Seven: Let's give it a shot.
'Operating Instuctions'
([sarcasm] Great, another God damned tutorial. [/sarcasm])
'The screen below displays 2 medical mannequins. You can switch their body parts by touching the part you want to switch out, and then the part you want to switch in.'
So now I swap the heart...and nothing happens. (Maybe there's more to switch out and you only remembered the heart.) Now the right arm...nothing. Left leg...nothing. Lower torso...nothing. The other leg...nothing. Now the right arm again...nothing. What was the target numbers again? Backing up...
Junpei: No dice. I think if we knew the weight of each part, we could figure it out...
To the files!
John | Lucy
Upper Torso 6.2 6
Lower Torso 5.6 5
Heart 2.3 2
Right Arm 1.5 1
Right Leg 3.4 3
Left Leg 4.5 4
Target numbers
John: 51.3 kg
Lucy: 53.2 kg
All right, let's get this surgical party started!
First John needs to lose 2.2 kg, so let's try lower torso and right leg first...now let's see if switching those hearts will fix things...nope not yet. John needs to lose 1 kg. Left leg? Not yet, now it's .5 kg that he needs to lose. Right arm...nope. Screw this I'm just going to switch bodies except for the hearts! (And...that worked.) (What!? Seriously!?)
Seven: Hey Junpei! I just heard something! It came from John's operating table! We better check it out.
(Maybe both John and Lucy are transgendered?) Now to that scale already!
Junpei: Huh? The lid on the scale... Hey, it opened! Oh...I get it! It must've opened because we matched John's weight to what's on the chart!
And we... obtained a Jupiter key!
Junpei: There's a mark engraved on this key.
Clover: I think it's the [Jupiter symbol].
(Let's find the exit already!)
'The entrance to the operating room. It isn't locked, but there's no reason to go back.'
("You can't go back, Charlie...you can't go back...") "All Dogs go to Heaven"? Unexpected coming from you, still...nice!
'The only thing back there is a numbered door.' So I guess it's that door in the prep. room...
Seven: Hey, hold on.
'Junpei stopped, about to put the key into the doorknob.'
Junpei: What's up?
Seven: Where's Clover?
(Oh shit!)
Junpei: Huh?
'Junpei: turned around. Clover was nowhere to be seen.'
Junpei: Goddamnit. Where the hell did she go? Arg. Okay, just hold on a minute. I'll go get her.
Seven: Sure thing.
'Junpei left Seven at the door, and headed back to the operating room. He found her, standing next to the operating table. She was staring at the mannequin.'
Junpei: Hey, Clover, what's wrong? C'mon, let's get outta here.
Clover: ...
'She didn't respond. If she hadn't been standing up and breathing, Junpei might have thought she was dead.'
(Well, someone here's going to be dead soon.)
Junpei: What're you doing? Did you want to come back here and say good-bye to John?
'It wasn't the best joke, but it was something. An attempt to lighten the mood. Clover didn't laugh. She stood stock-still, and said nothing.'
(Is-Is Clover looking at us?)
Junpei: Hey, Clover, can you hear me?
'Perhaps it was something he'd said, or perhaps it was...something else.'
(Like an up coming murder spree?! As vengeance for Snake! Weeeee!)
'Suddenly, her mouth opened, and she whispered in a dry, dead voice...'
Clover: My brother...might be dead...
Junpei: ...
Clover: ...
Junpei: Huh...?
Clover: That's why we couldn't find him. If he's dead...I'm going to be next.
'Suddenly the operating room felt very, very cold.'
(Monster, will you stop playing with that fan!?) (Never!)
Junpei: Wh-What are you talking about? What's wrong with you?
(Everything.) (What was that?) (Nothing...)
'He gave her a small shake, but she still didn't respond. The silence grew heavier.'
Junpei: Let's just get out of here. We've got the key, let's use it. That cool with you?
'Clover nodded, almost imperceptibly. Still, Junpei was glad to see she was at least somewhat responsive. He put his hand on her shoulder, and guided her to the preparation room. As they arrived at the door, she suddenly stopped.'
(This doesn't sound good...)
Clover: I'm sorry...
'What was this? Why was she apologizing? Junpei wasn't sure what to make of her. Was she emotionally unstable because her brother had gone missing?'
Clover: I'm really sorry...Just forget everything I told you, okay? Don't worry about it... Really, I mean it...
(I know what's going to happen, I think we should be very...very worried!)
'How could anyone pretend not to hear something like that? But something told him this wasn't the time to press the issue. Junpei gave her the warmest, kindest smile he could manage.'
Junpei: All right.
Clover: Thank you.
'Her smile was weak. It was almost painful to watch.'
Seven: Damn. What the hell took you guys so long?
'Seven looked up as they walked into the room, clearly irritated.'
Seven: You playin' doctor in there or something?
(I wish, at least that'd be more entertaining and less foreshadowing our doom.) (Monster...) What? Is it the implication of doing the horizontal tango? Or that Akurei's been implying that Clover will kill us all? Or wait! Is it that the 'biology lesson' would be more entertaining than said 'doom and gloom' stuff? (ALL OF THE ****ING ABOVE!) Yikes, now that's something unexpected...
Junpei: Maybe. Jealous?
'Seven avoided answering the question. They stood in front of the door. Junpei took out the Jupiter key.'
Junpei: All right, I'm gonna open it now. Is that cool?
Seven: You don't need to keep asking. Just do it, all right?
Junpei: Heh. Fine then.
'He slid the key into the keyhole, and turned it. He felt it unlock. The door opened with a soft, melancholy creak. Beyond it lay a simple, white hallway. There was no fanfare or confetti. Obviously, there was no one there to applaud them. They simply walked though the door. That was it.'
Junpei: All right, let's get going.
Seven: Hey man, what's up with you? You're so serious, you know?
("Why so serious?") At least that's back to normal now.
Seven: Can't you sound more happy? You know? Get a little excited?
Did he catch wind of Akurei's prophecy of death?
Junpei: ...
Seven: ...
Junpei: Not really.
'Junpei turned away from Seven, and took his first step down the simple, white hallway. "My brother...might be dead..." "...I'm going to be next." Clover had told him only a few minutes before that her brother was probably dead, and she was likely to follow him. How could he pretend to be happy after hearing something like that?'
I know that my little brother being dead would have its toll on me...
----------------YOU FOUND IT!-----------------
(Well, that's quite a downer note to leave this post off on.) Well, hopefully Akurei's warning of death and stuff comes to naught. ("Search your feelings, Shimohi, you know it to be true!") Well, see you guys next time. Bye!
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