Warning!: This is based upon a game that's rated M for Blood, Drug References, Strong Language, Suggestive (read 'Sexual') themes, and Violence. If any of these things offend you, don't click on the link.
'They left the operating room. The hallway took them around several corners, and past several doors, but they were all locked. Until, at last... The final door was hidden in a corner of the hall. Junpei grabbed the handle. As he made to push it open, a voice stopped him. The voice came from behind him, and belonged to neither Seven nor Clover.'
("Run for your life!") "I don't know why I never thought to ask him for his name?" ("But I'd really don't think he would tell me the truth anyway...") "But that's okay!" (Again with the strange singing...and not only did you sing a sample of the lyrics from the song "An awful lot of Running" but also included a link to buy the album it came from!? Sell out!)
June: Jumpy!
'He spun around. He saw someone running toward him, from the other end of the hallway. There were 3 people coming toward Junpei and his companions.'
No, Junpei isn't suddenly The Doctor.
'Santa, Lotus...and June! They pulled up short in front of Junpei, breathing hard.'
Santa: Whoa! What the hell is this?!
Lotus: What are you doing here?!
Junpei: What...? But...we didn't...
'Before he could finish, Clover spoke.'
Clover: Hey, guys... Could you come take a look at this?
'She was standing near the end of a small hallway that branched off to the right. The rest of them ran over to her, curious as to what she'd found. There was something on the wall at the end of the hallway...'
Junpei: A map of the ship's interior...
'It said [C Deck] in the upper left corner. It was, they assumed, a map to the floor they were on. Door [7] and... Door [8]... The map confirmed what they already knew: Both doors eventually led to the hallway where they had found themselves. In fact...'
Seven: Yeah, isn't that what I said? We aren't gonna be split up permanently 'til we find door [9]. We might get separated for a little while, but we'll see each other again. Otherwise, we won't be able to open door [9]. That's how the Nonary Game works.
'Junpei looked at the map of the ship's interior again. As he looked more closely, his surprise and excitement gave way to weariness. One by one, the others saw what he'd seen. The moved, as one, for the door. He pulled the [map of the ship's interior] off of the wall, put it in his pocket, and followed the others. The 6 of them stood in front of the door, arrayed in a semi-circle. Santa stepped forward. He took hold of the door and spoke, without looking back at the other 5.'
Santa: Ready...? I'm gonna open it.
'Slowly, all 5 nodded their silent assent. With a deep breath, Santa threw open the door. They poured through the doorway, and into the room. Even without looking around, each one of them knew where they were. They were just where the map had said they would be... The same room they'd been in not so very long ago...'
(Hi Ace! Did you miss us?)
'The tremendous central hospital room, with empty beds from wall to wall. ... ...'
Ace: I see. I believe I understand what you're saying... The 6 of you split into 2 teams, and went though doors [7] and [8]. You solved the puzzles in the [operating room] and the [laboratory] and then met on another in the hallway after opening your respective locked doors.
'He looked like anyone might, after only just waking up, but it seemed that his brain was working as well as ever. He had managed to grasp, summarize, and understand each team's report.'
Ace: At any rate... I feel a bit silly for my little show of altruism. "I'm sure you'll be back for me." I did hope you would come back, but I confess I didn't think you'd be back so soon.
'Ace shook his head with a rueful smile.'
Seven: Well, we saw each other again, and we ain't dead, so I say that's good enough.
'Seven smiled.'
Seven: Anyway, I saw we get outta this creepy old place. We found the key we need.
Lotus: The key?
Seven: Ain't that what I just said? I'm talkin' about the [Jupiter key]. We found it in the operating room. Right, Junpei?
'Junpei nodded.'
Lotus: Ah, the solar system keys. Actually, we found on in the laboratory too. Here...the [Earth key].
'Lotus gug out a still-warm key with an Earth symbol on it.
(What, did she keep it in her Victoria's Secret Compartment?) That sounds like a good before and after puzzle for Wheel... (And you suck at playing that at home.)
Lotus: I might lose it. It's probably better if you hold on to it. That way it won't be my fault if it gets lost.
'And with that, she pressed it into Junpei's hand. He felt slightly less than honored. As a group, they now had 3 keys that had not been used:
- The [Jupiter key], which had been found in the operating room.
- The [Saturn key card], which had been found in the kitchen.
- The [Earth key], which Lotus had just handed to Junpei.
June: The [Jupiter key] is supposed to be for the door at the end of that long, straight hallway, right?
Seven: Yeah. If the map's right, then it connects to the central staircase. Then next to the stairs--
Clover: Wait.
'They were the first words anyone had heard out of Clover in quite some time. Her face suggested they weren't going to be very happy words.'
Clover: What about door [3]?
Seven: Look... You saw the map, right? It's the same as [7] and [8]. It'd just lead us back to the big hospital room.
(I don't think that's what she's getting at.)
Seven: There's no point to seeing what's on the other side of that door.
Clover: There is a point. At least there is for me...
'There were tears in her eyes, but she glared at Seven as hard as she could, just the same. She looked very much like a frightened puppy.' (Who'll maul your face off.) (What's up with all the killer implications toward Clover?) (You'll see...)
'There wasn't a man alive who could have resisted those eyes.' (Out of fear for his life.) (Monster, knock that off!)
'Seven looked everywhere in the room except at Clover, and muttered and coughed apologies under his breath.'
Seven: Yeah, you're right, I'm sorry... Snake might be on the other side of door [3]...
'Clover nodded once. The next person to speak was Ace.'
Ace: Very well. I'll be coming with you, then. I've had a nice, long rest. I think it's time I was up and about again. So, Seven... You'll help me, won't you?
Seven: Huh...? Me?
'Junpei did the calculations, quickly, in his head.
4 + 1 + 7 = 12 [insert arrow here] 1 + 2 = 3
It looked like Seven was doing them too. At last, he gave up.'
Seven: Damn. Well, I guess that's how it's gotta be... So I'm goin' with you, huh?
Ace: Yes, you are.
Seven: All right, let's get moving...
'And so it was decided that Clover, Ace, and Seven would discover what lay beyond door [3].'
Seven: Okay, we're headin' out.
(And Ace...Seven...nice knowing you.) (What's with...) (They're going to die soon.)
Lotus: Be careful.
Seven: Whoa. Didn't think I'd be hearin' that from you, Lotus.
Lotus: Don't let it go to your head. I'd be in trouble if the 3 of you bought it. The rest of us can't open the [9] door.
Seven: Aaaah. The truth comes out.
'Seven nodded, as if this answer made much more sense, and pulled the lever on the RED.'
Ace: Okay! Let's go!
'The door opened, and Ace, Clover, and Seven jumped through it. After exacctly 9 seconds, the door closed noisily.'
Lotus: All right. We should get moving too.
Junpei: Huh?
June: Get moving?
Santa: Where are we going?
'Everyone except Lotus seemed rather confused.'
Lotus: Well, it would be a waste of time to just sit around, wouldn't it? Let me explain... ... ...
June: I get it.
What's with the sudden scene change?
June: We're gonna see if we can get anywhere interesting with the [Jupiter key].
Lotus: Yes. If we're lucky, we might find Snake.
(No, we're not going to be that lucky...at least not in this time line.)
'They were at the end of the hallway lined by individual hospital rooms. The Jupiter symbol was engraved on the keyhole.'
Lotus: All right, Junpei. Open it, if you please.
Junpei: Yeah, on it.
'Junpei pulled the [Jupiter key] out of his pocket and slid it into the keyhole. He twisted. With a nice, sharp click, he felt the door unlock.'
Junpei: All right. Ready, guys?
'Junpei's companions nodded. He nodded back, then slowly and quietly opened the door. Inside was exactly what he expected to see, from the map of the ship's interior. They were in a tremendous hall, almost like a ballroom, with a massive central staircase.'
Santa: Great, back to the beginning.
(Also known as "the door to before".)
Santa: You sure this is a good idea?
Junpei: What do you mean...?
Santa: Well, we already searched every inch of this room, didn't we? I'm asking you if there's any reason we came back here.
-Of course there's a reason.-
-No idea.-
(The elevators! Duh!)
Junpei: Of course there's a reason. Man, sometimes I can't tell if you're smart or just lucky...
(Actually, more like obfuscating stupidity.)
Santa: ...Huh?
Junpei: This.
'Junpei pulled 2 things out of his pockets.' Junpei's pockets or Santa's?
'The [Saturn key card]...And the [Earth day].' Ah, Junpei's pockets. Got it!
'Santa cocked his head to one side, like an inquisitive bird, and looked at them. After several long moments, during which it became apparent that Santa had no idea what the cards meant, June took pity on him.'
June: Don't you remember, Santa? On C Deck, where we are now, there was a big elevator behind the stairs, remember? And next to the elevator, there was a card reader with the Saturn symbol on it. And on A Deck, on the door to the left... There was a keyhole wit the Earth symbol on it. ...I think. So, the 2 keys that Jumpy has--
Santa: Should let us use the elevator and the door on A Deck... Huh.
June: Yes. That's right.
'June smiled, pleased with herself. So did Santa.'
Santa: All right, I got it. Let's get started, then. Wadda you say we split into 2 teams? Lotus and I will search the [Earth] one, so you 2 can search [Saturn], all right?
Junpei: Sounds good.
'Junpei handed the [Earth key] to Santa. They decided that their initial search should be brief--only 10 minutes. They'd beet back near the staircase once they were done. Junpei and June headed for the elevators. Sure enough, there was a card reader bolted to the wall next to the left elevator. He lined up the [Saturn key card] and swiped it through the reader. A light on the upper left corner blinked to life.'
Junpei: Great. Looks like it's working now.
June: All right, now how do I call the elevator...
'There was a single button to the right of the elevator door. On the button was the upside-down triangle--the universal symbol for "down".' (Elevator going down!) (Ew, gross!)
'There didn't appear to be an "up" button. Junpei pushed it. He didn't have much of a choice.'
June: It...It opened! Look, Jumpy!
'June's voice was excited, but Junpei could hear a tinge of anxiety.'
Junpei: Sweet, it opened. Let's get going.
'He grinned at June, and stepped toward the open door. As he was about to set foot in it, he felt a hand on his arm.'
June: W-W-W-Wait...
Junpei: What...?
June: I-I-I-I'm not really...uh... I just... Oh gosh...
'Junpei was at something of a loss. What could she possibly be so frightened of?'
<<June was probably afraid of...>>
-Being locked up alone with a boy.-
-The could only go down.-
(I know what it really is, but the other option contains 20% more lulz. Take it away, Shimohi!)
'After a little thought, Junpei decided that she had to be nervous about being locked up in such a small space alone with a boy.' (And let the trolling of the Pansy comence!) (Wait, what!?)
'In a way, it was kinda cute. Very...demure, you could say, he thought. Still, even though it wasn't exactly roomy in the elevator, they weren't going to be pressed up against one another. At least, they didn't have to be--' (Wink-wink, nudge-nudge...) Say no more... (SAY NO MORE! You two are making those kind of jokes again!)
'Still, it was making her nervous. Junpei couldn't help but think how innocent she was...'
Junpei: C'mon, let's go.
'Again, he stepped toward the elevator--And again, he felt himself restrained.'
June: I said wait a minute!
Junpei: Why?!
June: Aren't you afraid, Jumpy?
Junpei: Afraid of what?!
June: Well, I've never...you know...
("...been with a boy before"?) (LOOK! That's very bad and very inappropriate!)
'She'd never been in an elevator with a man alone before? Even so, she still seemed awfully alarmed...'
June: I might...get wet.
(If you know what...) (No!) But... (NO BUTS! NOT ANOTHER SINGLE WORD ABOUT THIS!) Well, I'm the one in charge of this LP. You can't back up that threat.
'Wh-what?!'
June: Down there... I'd get soaking wet...
Oh my... (So...is she a "go-er"?) (More of that stupid Monty Python sketch... *sigh*)
Junpei: W-Well, Imean, of course you would, that's the way it works. I mean, I've never heard of anyone getting soaking wet...somewhere else...
(Then you haven't been looking at the right porn.)
June: That's...that's true...
Junpei: ...
June: You...don't mind?
Junpei: Mind what?
June: Getting...wet...
(I think he'd like to get a certian part of him wet...) (Gross! Way too gross you Monster!)
Junpei: W-Well, I dunno, I think I'd probably... You know...like it.
(See what I mean?) (No! I'd rather not!)
June: Gosh, Jumpy! You're so brave!
I thought the usual trope is that "a man is not a virgin"...
Junpei: ...Really? I mean, I kinda think any guy would do the same thing, you know?
(Given what we know...) ...Isn't this conversation getting... (...Awkward...Ha! I've got you! You are just faking not knowing this stuff already!) Huh? No, it just sounds strange...unless June's some kind of super virgin.
Junpei: What happens, happens, right? If you get the chance, you've just gotta go for it. That's what a man's supposed to do, I guess.
(A man is always eager after all.)
June: Y-You're so cool, Jumpy! I really admire you!
Junpei: Uh, that...doesn't really seem like the sort of thing you oughta admire someone for...
June: I'm...I'm really scared...
Junpei: Y-Yeah... I mean, like you said, you've never...done it...before...
June: Yes... So I don't think I'll be able to last very long, and then it'll be...over...
(So, she eats her meals very quickly...if you...) (*ji...*) Let's get this over with...
Junpei: ...O-Over...?
June: Yes. I'll go to heaven...
(For seven minutes, and then...) (...you'll go to hell.) Wow, actually...you know what, never mind, that's just Niyagi being too far on the religous right.
Junpei: ...Heaven...?
June: It feels kind of like you're floating in space, and your mind gets all fuzzy, like when you pass out... At least, that's what I've heard from people who have experienced it...
(I've heard of autoerotic asphyxiaton before...) But that's a bit much...
Junpei: A-Ah, yes, I've heard that too.
(*holds hands over head in an arc* Over-sharing! Too much information!)
Junpei: Although I don't think the same thing happens to guys.
(Aw, isn't that cute, Junpei...) ("Tenmyouji") (...thinks that June's talking about the female orgasm.) And, yes folks, it does exist. Wait, who said that?
June: ...What?
Junpei: ...Huh?
June: But, it would happen to men too, wouldn't it? It would happen to anyone. Once it gets into your body, the same thing happens to everyone.
Junpei: ...Well...I mean... Usually it doesn't...go inside...the man...
(Unless you're talking about sex between homo...) (Lalala! I'm not hearing this!) (...sexual men.)
Junpei: I mean, generally...
June: Yes, it does. Well, eventually it will. It's not like you really have a choice... Your body will force you to swallow some of it, eventually...
Junpei: Wh-What are you trying to do to me...?
June: Nothing... I'm not going to do anything to you. I'm just saying that that's what happens. It's a psychological reaction to what you're experiencing...
'Was...was that really how it happened? It occurred to Junpei that perhaps that was how it worked...'
(That all sex involves "cream pie"?) (Ew! Gross! I really need that brain bleach right now!)
'Perhaps he'd been mistaken all these years. Had he misunderstood life so gravely?' And that's American Sex Education, everybody. (*ba-dun tish!*)
'The thought terrified him.'
I know right... (I don't think they're talking about America's lovely sex education system.) *motions toward Niyagi* Our resident religous right-wing type two Eaglelander, everybody.
'June seemed to be entirely oblivious to Junpei's mounting confusion and terror.'
June: I know most men probably have larger lungs, but...
(Dude, I 'know' you're not supposed to breath in a "cream pie".) Huh... I think Niyagi's off to try to find one of those EDT crystals...
June: Even then, I don't think you could hold your breath for 20, or even 10, minutes.
(And so we're back to erotic asphyxiation again...)
June: Eventually, you'd have to breathe, and then the water would get into your lungs...
(So, are we making water boarding erotic now?) Strange new world here...
June: Once that happens, your body won't be able to get oxygen anymore, and you'll start to feel that floaty feeling as you pass out...
Junpei: ...
June: ...
Junpei: ...
June: ...
(...Awkward...)
Junpei: Ha ha... Ha ha ha ha... Ahahahahahaha!
Oh no, I think Junpei's losing it. (Or...he failed a SAN check...) Speaking of SAN checks, did we fail ours?
'Finally, Junpei understood.'
(He's going to get killed by...) This time, I have to say "No!" Not here!
'He understood what June was trying to say, and why she was so scared.'
Junpei: Yeah, you're right, you wouldn't last very long.
June: See?
'She was afraid that the only elevator button pointed down. That meant, of course, that the elevator couldn't go any higher than the floor they were on. As he thought about it, Junpei realized he hadn't seen elevators on the A or B decks near the central staircase. All of which meant that the elevator could only convey them to the lower decks. And the floor below the one they were on--D Deck--should be completely submerged. That meant...' Because I swear I heard an unknown voice that said something after you mentioned Junpei... ("Tenmyouji") ...'s name... See! It happened again! (Are you guys quite finished will all the sex jokes already?) (Yes, and now Shimohi's hearing voices.) ([sarcasm] Shimohi's insane, what else is new? [/sarcasm])
Junpei: Hey, wait a minute. This elevator came up from somewhere under us, right?
June: Um, well... Yes, I guess it did. It didn't open right away, after you pressed the button. There was a motor noise, like it was moving, and then it opened.
Junpei: Yeah, exactly.
June: Yes...
Junpei: So take a look inside.
'Junpei jerked his head toward the interior of the elevator.'
Junpei: It's not wet at all, is it? The walls and even the floor are totally dry.
June: Oh... You're right, they are...
'She looked around the elevator, slightly embarrassed.'
Junpei: Well, let's test it.
June: Test it?
Junpei: Yeah. Watch this.
'Junpei put one foot in the elevator and bent around the corner of the door until he could see the floor buttons. There were only 2: E and C. He pushed the E button and jumped out of the elevator. The door slid shut, and they heard the grinding of the motor as the elevator car moved down. A few moments later, the heard the sound of the elevator door grinding open several floors below.'
I don't think you can hear an elevator open on another floor... (Suspecious...)
'Junpei nodded to June, and pressed the elevator button again. A few moments later, the elevator returned. The door slid open, and just as Junpei had expected, there was no water to be found.'
Junpei: See?
'Junpei couldn't resist puffing out his chest, just a little bit. June, however, still looked confused.'
June: What does that mean? How can the E Deck be safe if the D Deck is full of water?
(The plot thickens...) Dun-dun-duuun!
Junpei: Well, here's what I think... The elevator shaft and E Deck must be water-tight, and separated from wherever the ship's been punctured.
(Or exploded as the case may be.)
Junpei: Here, let me show you...
'He pulled out his notebook and pen, and sketched out a rough illustration.' Wow, that is a "really rough illustration" indeed. (Junpei...) ("Tenmyouji") (...sucks at drawing.) It's happening again!
June: I see... So is that why the ship hasn't sunk? The shape of the inside keeps it from all filling with water?
Junpei: Yeah, I think that's what's going on.
'Junpei continued talking as he closed the notebook and slipped it back into his pocket.'
Junpei: So I'm gonna go down and check it out. You stay here, all right?
June: Um...but...
Junpei: C'mon, just do it, all right?
'He gave June's shoulder a reassuring squeeze, then hopped onto the elevator. He pushed the E button, and the door began to close... June looked worried, her eyes darting back and forth as if she was trying to make a decision, when suddenly--'
June: I-I'm coming with you!
Junpei: Huh?!
'At the last possible moment, June dashed forward, turning sideways just in time to slip through the gap between the closing doors. Junpei jammed his finger against the "Open" button-- But it was too late. The door had shut, and he and June were in the elevator, and it was headed down, to E Deck. He was so surprised by June that he didn't even have time to think about what awaited him on the E Deck. The elevator stopped, and the door slid open. They stepped off, onto the floor outside the elevator.' ("Water World"!) (That was weird...)
'Nothing seemed especially unusual. No fish going about their fishy business, or jellyfish floating lazily through the water. There was, however, a blowfish.' Just kidding...right?
'...Or at least something that looked very much like one. June's cheeks were puffed out, and her mouth a tiny, intense frown.'
June: Mmmm...
Junpei: Oh, knock it off. It's just like I thought... This part isn't flooded. Come on, just look around! There's no water here!
'June looked around nervously, then...'
June: Haah--!
'...Exhaled.' (Oh no...you've got to be kidding me...)
June: You're right... It's not flooded at all.
Junpei: See?
June: But there's a whole lot of water...
Junpei: Yeah, right on top of us.
June: What's going to happen if the ceiling breaks?
'Junpei thought about that for a moment.'
Junpei: Well... We'd probably get really wet...up there.
June: ...huh?
(Not getting it, huh?)
Junpei: At any rate, we should probably go back as soon as we can, once we're done looking around down here. Lotus and Santa might already be back.
June: Okay. Good idea.
'Junpei glanced around the room they'd found themselves in. The first thing he noticed was a set of think iron bars. They ran the length of the room, separating the left elevator from the right one.'
Junpei: Well, we can't go over there.
June: Right.
'Then perhaps... In the corner of the room that housed the elevators, Junpei found an opening. He walked up to it and stuck his head around the corner. A long, straight hallway stretched out in front of him.'
June: That door at the end of the hallway... There's something written on it.
Junpei: Yeah. Let's go have a look.
'Junpei and June set off down the hallway at a brisk clip, somewhere between a run and a jog. Before long, they found themselves in front of the door. On it was a number written in bright red paint...[6].'
Junpei: I knew it...
(That's something I usually say.)
June: This is a numbered door!
'And indeed, there was a RED bolted to the wall right next to the door. Of course, with only 2 people, there wasn't much they could do with it.'
Junpei: All right, let's head back.
June: Yes!
'Junpei and June turned, and headed back to C Deck. On their way back, Junpei noticed a map on the wall. As it turned out, it was a burnt [map of the ship's interior] for E Deck. ... ...'
Junpei: Huh... So you guys found door [1]...
'They'd met back up with Santa and Lotus, who had explained what they'd found. Apparently, there was another numbered door on A Deck, just like the one on E Deck, beyond the door that the Earth key opened. According to Santa and Lotus, there was a [1] on the door. All told, they had discovered 2 new doors: The [6] door and the [1] door.'
Lotus: It is interesting that E Deck wasn't flooded...
'Lotus was quiet for a moment, lost in thought.'
Junpei: Well, we don't really know if all of E Deck is safe. We only checked the area around the elevator.
Lotus: Even so. It's still very interesting...
Santa: You said the [6] door was there, right?
June: Yes.
Santa: Then that means Zero planned all this out, even the sinking. That would have meant some pretty serious remodeling of the ship's interior.
Lotus: It's pretty mindblowing, when you think about it.
June: Yeah. I wonder how long it took... I can't even imagine how much it must've cost...
Santa: It would've been a ton, that's for sure.
Junpei: Well, that does go along with what Ace was saying. The most reasonable explanation would be that this was done by some organization with access to a whole lot of cash.
(Takes the leader of one to know it...)
Lotus: Yes, it does make sense...
'That thought made them all go quiet for a moment. June bit her lip while Lotus sighted softly to herself and Santa cracked a stiff neck and stared off into the distance at nothing.'
June: Um... I don't think it's a very good idea to stay here.
'June looked up at Junpei with large, pleading eyes.'
Junpei: Yeah, you're right. Ace and his team might be back already.
Lotus: Well, June, Junpei and I should be able to open door [1].
That sounds like a good idea...
Santa: Huh? You guys leaving me behind?
'8 + 6 + 5 = 19 [insert arrow here] 1 + 9 = 10 [insert arrow here] 1 + 0 = 1'
Lotus: Just kidding. All right. Let's go.
'Lotus's words were all the impetus they needed. Back to the large hospital room they went. The moment they stepped inside, a tremendous voice echoed across the room.'
Seven: Hey! Where the hell did you guys go?!
'It was Seven. Ace was right behind him, and Clover was behind Ace, although she seemed to be hanging back.' (Monster, you were wrong!) "They're not dead yet!" (And we don't need to hear any song lyrics, paraphrased or otherwise.)
'It looked as though there was something...stange about them.' Snake? (Snake?) SNAAAAAAAAKE!!! (Oh my...GOD WITH THE MEMES...AGAIN!)
'Seven had the look of a man who'd seen a ghost. Ace was just as pale, and Clover looked as though she was only moments from passing out entirely. For a long moment, the simply stood there, looking at one another. Junpei looked around nervously, waiting for someone else to speak.' (Who wants nachos!?) NO! (NO!) Even I have to say that's uncalled for.
'No one did.' (And...we're ignored once again.)
'He looked at Seven.'
Junpei: What...happened?
Seven: What the hell kind of a question is that?!
'Seven was trying very hard to be angry, but something had shaken him, hard. His shoulders were trembling, and his voice was strained.'
Seven: Snake was... Snake is...
'Seven couldn't finish. He just looked away, his face twisted by... Junpei wasn't sure what. Instead, Ace spoke. He took a deep breath, closed his eys, and spoke.'
Ace: Snake is...dead.
--------------------------------------------------
And I think that wham moment is a good point to stop this post. (Aw man, if only we'd taken door 3, then I'd be able to have 9th Snake (tm) chunky salsa did on my nachos...) (I...I don't think I need to say any more...)
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